Christmas Fear

[Jaec]

I know my tbi has effected my my memory but why, every year, does the feeling of dread about Christmas take me by surprise?

[cat3]

I suspect that many folk dread Christmas but daren't admit it for fear of the 'killjoy' label.

It's all become too commercialised for me, and meaningless. And since the Bi my tolerance of heaving shopping centres and rowdy tv programmes has worn thin to the point where Boxing Day eve is a welcome relief.

Every year I swear I should've booked a room in a remote inn in the Derbyshire hills for a few days (but then I hear they have their own brand of 'festive' rowdiness). ……….and of course, having always promoted Xmas as a special family time, I haven't the heart to snub my loving family. But since my Bi I really struggle to keep up.

With regard to an impaired memory, upcoming events aren't part of our awareness so they creep up and seem to appear from nowhere, catching us unprepared !

Take care Jaec…. x

[Froggiefrog]

The perils some face of 'enforced jollity', inappropriate rowdiness and simply being expected to behave in a certain way merely due to an accident of calendar that happens annually! Whilst neither my or my partner's family impose anything, I'm aware that some are less fortunate and I feel for them. A tee shirt emblazoned with " I'M NOT BEING A KILLJOY...OK ? might just be a little too direct for some, but there is a part of me that thinks it is only something as unambiguous as that would get the point across to those who need it most.

[AndrewT]

Dear Jaec,

I wonder did Something 'Happen' around Christmas, when you were younger? Sorry but this IS a Possibility maybe 'Predisposing you to', or maybe Triggering a Memory of, a Past 'Bad' experience. Of Course it could, very well, just be a Re-action to, all the, 'Festive' Nonsense we are ALL Bombarded with. I am a Confirmed Christian, so Christmas Is very 'Special' to me....Despite, knowing that, the Early Christians 'Pinched' the Solstice Celebrations.

I'm NOT, in any way, belittling your Fears...Heck this Commercialism 'Gets' me as well. What a way to 'Celebrate' the Birth of Our Saviour! Yes the, Very kind Hearted, St Nicolaus DID spread Love- and Gifts- in a Beautiful way....I wonder what he would think NOW though?

Yes DO get Worried/ Afraid/ Pi--ed Off or whatever BUT, and I ask this as a Christian, please DON'T loose the Love- and True Meaning- of Christmas....He doesn't, despite our attitude.

So.…. Invite the Family, give presents especially to the Children then go OUT For Dinner! Come Home, watch the Queen's Speech, maybe a film, do 'everyone' some tea then Drop Huge 'Hints' until they ALL go home- after that load the Dishwasher and go to BED!

Whatever you do 'DO' please Try Not, to worry, and enjoy yourself...Just, let it be, on YOUR terms.

Good Luck my, indeed ALL our, Prayers are with you Jaec.

Warmest wishes

AndrewT

[Jaec in reply to AndrewT]

I had several undiagnosed bleeds before the major haemorrhage and I do remember a Christmas where I had to go to bed in the hosts house as my head was so sore.

Christmas has passed now. It was not dreadful, some bits were nice but it was incredibly tiring, keeping up the facade for 3 days. I love my family but very few can understand.

My worrying also took its tole on my husband so he is also exhausted now. But we did it.

Thankyou for your advice, happy new year!

[AndrewT]

Dear Jaec,

I'm glad that, despite ALL, you did 'Manage' Christmas. I hope that Santa bought you what you, Actually Needed/ asked for...Rather than That 'Thing'- with the holes, and bells and so on🙄.

Yes Happy New Year 2020 to you ALL.

AndrewT