Hoping and praying : Hello, My partner of only... - Headway

Headway

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Hoping and praying

10 Replies

Hello,

My partner of only 7 months sustained a head injury 2 days ago, as a result seems to be stuck in august 2018, so she barely has a clue who I am, nevermind our relationship, any advice on how to help would be gratefully received, I do appreciate it is a very young relationship but don't want to just walk away

10 Replies

two days is a VERY short time in head injury terms. Her brain is going to take a while to recover. It took my husband a very long time to realise he wasn't 30 years old - even though he knew our two 20 something children were his! Talk to her, play her favourite music, show her photos, anything to remind her of things but don't over tire her. You will find in a few weeks she will be showing a big step towards recovery.

in reply to

Thank you for your reply, much appreciated

Lynd profile image
Lynd in reply to

My husband had what they call Post Traumatic Amnesia and it lasted for a few months. He had no idea who I was.

He kept calling me Wendy who is a girlfriend from his earlier life. He thought he was in a hotel. Then he thought he was on the Isle of Wight on holiday. Some days he thought he was at work.

He would not accept his relatives were dead. Called me a liar. Hallucinated that they were coming to see him.

It was very tough but he gradually came out of it. These early days are exceptionally hard but they hopefully will pass and you have to learn to take one day at a time.

Look at Headway s web site. A lot of information on there.

Good luck x

in reply to Lynd

Thanks 😊

paxo05 profile image
paxo05

Hi there.

Like has been mentioned two days is such a short time.

The first year after my accident is a complete mystery to me. I rely on those around me to fill in this time gap.

Apparently I was unaware of the year I was in and this could change hourly if not daily.

Two years is normally given for as full a recovery as is likely. This doesn't mean that it will take that long to start the recovery process.

Also it doesn't mean that after two years things will not still improve.

No two bi's or the same and no two recoveries are the same.

Hopefully things will start to improve soon.

Pax

in reply to paxo05

Thanks pax

pollyanne profile image
pollyanne

My husband thought he still lived at home with his parents (he had left 20 years ago).It went on a few months then slowly his memory got better. It is post trauma-horrible for you I know ! You think to yourself is this permanent but it will get better. Thinking of you -its hard!

Pomchilove profile image
Pomchilove

You could always try contacting headway they have lots of info on all brain injury. Sounds like you really don't want to give up on this girl, knowing more about what you are experiencing might help. Best wishes to u both

Hi,

I can understand your feelings, I have the same right now in my life. I'm sure also many others do too. Remeber its not in thier heart, they are not conciously choosing to not remember u, its amnesia as a result of the brain injury. I find being patient and having almost a script in your head of what to say to common questions, is good.

Take any help from a councilor or phycologists if your offered, either together or seperetly.

Regards

Danger19 profile image
Danger19

Hello my lovely,

I am so sad you have found yourself in this situation. I’ll tell you my story but there is a point to it that may help you. I simply fell down my 12 stairs at home which caused a massive traumatic brain injury, broke the base and most of the right hand side of my skull, subarachnoid haemorrhage and three blood clots. Despite an instant recovery and having no sign now of even having had an accident I was told something that I didn’t at first remember . When I first regained consciousness I had no idea who my children were. I kept saying my 10 yr old daughter was my 39 year old sister and I had no idea who my 14 year old son was. This lasted for 12 hours. After that I would phone my parents and tell them I was somewhere local to home and I wanted to be collected. The final thing that may make you laugh is after 3 days of regaining consciousness I decided I had died. I thought my parents had buried me instead of cremating me and that was why I couldn’t go anywhere or see anybody that I loved. I even told a nurse that was the reasonwhy I was stuck there with them. I can tell you I was very aggressive about it and my language was appalling. The truth is I didn’t remember my accident so I had no idea why I was stuck in Addenbrookes hospital and my family were far away and because they were looking after my children they could only visit once, twice a week. It took three days for my memory and me to get back to normal. But the Doctor told me that that speed of time is rare. So hang in there and give it a bit of time, she could surprise you. I sometimes wish my memory had stayed away a bit longer because 17 days after my discharge from hospital my old friend hung him self. I know people are going to think what does this have to do with anything. But I think this could be the reason I am so angry and maybe it’s not because of my head injury. When I was at school I was friends with Keith Flint, from The Prodigy. I was in contact with him for a few years after he made it big. He used to live close to me and that was how we met. When I heard of his suicide I was devastated and so angry.

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