Feeling a faurd

[Woodybeaver]

I had a brain tumour removed in 2014. Spent 3 months in hospital due to a brain infection.

I have not needed any treatment since.

However my life is completely different I am unable to drive had to give up work and moved 250 miles away. People say well your lucky as it was a benign. You need to move on but I can't seem to be able as my congnitive abilities are poor. I am so tired most of the time and I feel useless. I used to work in supported housing with adults with disabilities now I need support myself and find it so hard to accept and just don't know what to do.

I feel such a faurd and just want to get my life back. Any advice on how to cope would be great,

[Kirk5w7]

It’s one day at a time I’m afraid.

Moving away and starting again would make it even more difficult.

You have come so far but brain injury whatever the cause, causes chronic problems, they are for life and need to be managed.

I had to give up work, can no longer drive and many tasks I used to do, even some of the simplest tasks like getting dressed in a morning, trigger fatigue warranting a period of rest before I can get breakfast!

I am lucky that I have a supportive husband and family who have been so patient and understanding while ihave developed my coping strategies.

So, be kind to yourself, rest when you need to, fighting it prolongs the recovery. Listen to your body your brain will be trying to find ways to function efficiently and it does that best while you sleep.

Unfortunately there is no short cut but you can help improve your recovery by working with it not against it.

There is no set time for recovery like a broken limb, we are all individuals and our recoveries will differ.

Patience and acceptance are the watch words. I’m a fine one because I set my sights very high and am disappointed when I don’t reach the target, but I keep on trying.

Please take care, come back whenever you need support.

Janetx

[Elenor3]

Hi,

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. It sounds like you're doing well with all you've been through, but it's not ideal that you're not getting any help with the feelings you're finding difficult to cope with. Have you thought about approaching your GP to see if you can be referred to the community nearuo team? They may be able to help you to see a neuropsychologist? But if you're thinking of doing some part time work, have you tried Remploy? It's hard losing a good job / career on top of serious illness. If you feel up it I would try and get some help. You've come such a long way. Good luck x

[cat3]

Hi Woody. You're certainly not a fraud and what is often misunderstood is that a benign tumour also requires disruptive surgery which has lasting after-effects, so not something you can move on from with a click of the fingers.

Have you considered part time voluntary work to boost your self esteem ? As you'll already know, the feeling of worth and purpose is so valuable, and at times of uncertainty and loss of direction even small steps towards taking back control can be empowering and can create motivation for other changes.

Talking is helpful (and underestimated) and we're always here....

Love Cat x

[Starwars28]

Dont feel like a fraud i myself had a large grade 2 benign brain tumour removed in 2017 then after 2 weeks i got an infection ended up losing a large piece of my skull and june last year had a titanium plate fitted i suffer with severe fatigue so benign or cancerous all in the same league

[WinB]

No way WoodyBeaver as others have said you are no way a Fraud I had a bleed/SAH4 on Brain and some days are good others are pooey xx So be of good heart and you will get there slow steps but sure steps help. So if in doubt always see Doc/Surgeon to put mind at ease now keep the good fight going on and remember we are survivors. I often have a sleep in afternoon if brain tells me I need it. Slowly does it and on a good day get out and say morning world xxx Good luck on recoveryxxxxx

[Navillus]

I can’t even say I had a tumour but an aneurysm with post op infection 7 months in hospital and I don’t feel as able (but told I’m 100% back to before by Neurosurgeons) and very little acknowledgement of difference. I was doing a degree at uni and really don’t know whether my energy levels could go back to that as well as double vision when tired but feel a bit at a loss. I’ve decided to speak to a councillor as sometimes when you talk things through you can release that frustration and by saying things aloud you can find a direction and see what’s more important - don’t be tough on yourself and you’re not alone in feeling that way.

[Danger19]

Hello my lovely,

Let me first say I can completely understand and relate to feeling like a fraud. I simply fell down my home stairs. This caused a massive traumatic brain injury, broke the base and most of the right hand side of my skull, subarachnoid haemorrhage and three blood clot. I was initially in a coma but once I regained consciousness my recovery was almost instant and within days I could walk, talk, I knew who people were and I could remember everything, all the things they said I would never do.

I am eternally grateful but when I read what others have been through I do feel, a bit of a fraud and a little like people will read my story about hate me!

You most certainly should not feel like you are a fraud. You are experiencing problems and your accident is having an effect on your daily life my love. It’s not as though you have no issues since experiencing a life changing accident. You really should give yourself a break. I am a qualified nurse and if you were my patient I would feel as though you had every right to feel how you do especially with the few disabilities you are having. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. You, like others, have been to hell and come out the other side. You deserve so much support and if that is something I can offer you then I shall. Do you have a close family member or friend that you can talk to? Please don’t feel that you will put extra pressure on that person. They will probably feel good that you felt you could talk to them and that you thought of them to share your feelings with.

I wish you so much peace, happiness and luck.

Take care,

Vikki