Grief And Hurdles Cleared

[BaronC]

My father died on the 25th of October and his funeral was Friday just gone. My first real experience of grief and loss since my TBI.

Dad was there following my accident and acted as chief taxi driver throughout the ordeal of hundreds of various hospital visits in the early days of my recovery. He'd been battling cancer for over a year but it finally overtook his weak body. He was 83, he'd had a great life, but still...

My mother, my brother and myself were there at the very end and it was an awful day. But as the cancer overwhelmed him, he managed to let us know he loved us all. I'm welling up now as I type this just thinking back to that day.

And now the mundane chores of every day life return. We move house next week, it's all very full on and I'm knackered. But, life goes on and I'll raise a glass to my old man this (very sad) Christmas

[Hidden]

So sorry, Andy, but cancer is such an evil disease that once it gets really bad, much as you hate to let them go, you know that they need to be at peace. Nice for him that you were all there for him - many people don't have that and he went with love all around him.

Hope the house move isn't too stressful.

Jan

[BaronC in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Jan. Yeah, it was tough, but a relief that his suffering was at an end.

[swedishblue]

Poor you. It must be very hard. Having a brain injury does intensify the grief, and on top of that, a move, it couldn't have come at a worse time! Hang in there!!

I think I know somewhat how you're feeling. Grief is never straight forward, it ebbs and flows. My daughter's father died unexpectedly this summer and grieving has been very difficult for her. I'm going to set her up with a counsellor who comes recommended. Remember Baron, to ask for help if its needed & Good Luck with the move! x

[BaronC in reply to swedishblue]

Thank you very much indeed. I don't need a counsellor to be honest, my grief is taking the form of just being worried about my mother! I'll be fine, something about time and healing, right?

Do send my best wishes to your daughter won't you and to you, obviously

[cat3]

Losing a parent has to be the biggest test of our emotional strength and sanity ; when my mum died I thought I'd die too, from grief. Accepting death as part of life will always be our biggest challenge I'm sure...…..

Your house move is just what's needed to keep you going right now m'love because it's demanding and inescapable...………

Thinking of you and your mum especially Andy ; sending love and condolences to you all. E. xxx 🍂

[BaronC in reply to cat3]

Thanks Eileen! It's been a tough !month, I won't lie. The house move has kept our focus and sanity though. Just sad my dad will never see it. He was far too I'll to look around it before his passing.

Still, we have to concentrate on getting there now and getting our stamp on it, quickly. It was built in 1930 and the same family have lived there since day one...

[cat3 in reply to BaronC]

Just hang onto the idea that knowing you're settled with Sharon & the children, and making a new home in the country, would have given your dad great comfort & satisfaction ………….the feeling of 'My work here is done' (every parent's aim to see their kids 'sorted')...............no need to see it ; knowing's enough.

Look after yourself/each other...…….. xx

[StrawberryCream]

So sorry to hear this sad news Andy. Its clearly been a very difficult time for you. That's good that you were able to be with him at the end. Sounds like he was a great dad x

[BaronC in reply to StrawberryCream]

Thanks Strawbs!

[Cj-195]

I'm so sorry Andy, grief is different to everybody. I lost my dad when I was 26 he have a cancer, 3 months after I lost my mum with a stroke this was before a Christmas. I was in shock I want the world stop for my parents. We are a closed family. Now we think that we where lucky to have them. I still talking with them. Time will be better to cope with this so sad. Be strong like your Dad. X

[cuckoosnest2018]

Hello Baron, Your post really touched my heart...how incredibly sad that we have death(s) that we have to face in this short life, which the Bible says is "full of sorrows" Only God can really, truly bring comfort to you at this time. People who are well-meaning will often say the wrong things, meaning to be helpful, but botch their comforting words to make things a little worse. Please do call out to the Lord to save you, it was the most important and meaningful thing I ever did, and he TOTALLY changed my life !! that was on August 11th, 1970. I'm not saying everything will be easy street, but it sure is great to know He has died for you, it was the only acceptable sacrifice there was, that all of our sins could be washed away in His blood. He isn't willing that any should perish, and that includes you ! There are so many things to look forward too in a life with God in it, He came to save us from hell, and to give us "joy unspeakable and full of glory" He will never fail you.

[Elenor3]

Hi Andy

Sorry I’m late in messaging. I was so sorry to read about your situation. Isn’t it the way that major life things often all come at once? I do hope your big move goes smoothly. It’s understandable that you wish your dad had been to visit the new home. I tend to think although your dad didn’t get to go and visit the new house, really he will always be there, he’ll be with you as you carry him in your heart. I lost both parents when I was young so I can understand your feelings. Sounds like your dad really was a ‘dad’ to you even when you were older and needed his help. How lovely tht is to remember. Take care and keep focussed on the new home as movjngn day approaches and I wish you good dry weather for that. Take care. x

[BaronC]

Thanks Eleanor, lovely words. You're very kind.