My TBI anniversary, do you celebrate yours? - Headway

Headway

8,235 members10,646 posts

My TBI anniversary, do you celebrate yours?

sealiphone
sealiphone

16 years to the day, 7 November 2002 and for most of those years we've gone out for a meal.

I imagine many other do this but sometimes it has felt a bit like a charade but this is really about my daughter, who started the whole thing.

6 November 2003 and my wife told her tomorrow was one year since my bleed and tomorrow we'd go out to celebrate. I remember the look of confusion, cogs working and then "It's because you didn't end up in a box on a table".

She was 7 and that really brought home what it had been like for her, so we meet this afternoon to celebrate in Leeds.

Sometimes I feel some sadness that she doesn't remember 'me' but perhaps we are celebrating me, it gets a bit complex.

6 Replies

Good on you and happy bi day.I know how you feel as I also celebrate my bi date.

Not just to celebrate survival but it's the day I became the new version of me. In my case it falls about a week after my actual birthday so it's a strange time for me.

I tend to go away on my birthday so not to celebrate as I no longer am that person.

Outside of my immediate family feel I am strange so the now don't get invited to my bi day.

I have stopped trying to explain to them that it is not a celebration of my actual rta but becoming the new me ( improved or not) as well as coming through it.

Pax

keeley24
keeley24 in reply to paxo05

My BI day is also close to my birthday only mine is other way round BI day then 10 days later is my birthday. So the year I had BI I missed my birthday as I was in a coma also missed my mums birthday which was 2 days before mine so hadn’t got her card or anything that year (was going to but had accident before I did)

Don’t celebrate BI day tho wouldn’t avoid anything on that day. This year I would have if it had fell on different day of week as the BI group I go to planned a walk I wanted to do around that time but they didn’t want to do it on a weekend which it fell on so instead we did it on my birthday which fell on a day I’m at the group anyway.

paxo05
paxo05 in reply to keeley24

For years I tried to forget the anniversary of my bi. I used to dip into depression around my birthday and build until after the time of my bi.

Yes I was slow and didn't make the connection. Then I decided to celebrate my bi , after all I couldn't change it.

Since then my depression doesn't dip half as bad around my birthday.

The celebration is not a big afair, just a meal wife my wife and girls. Others don't understand so don't get invited. Oh and there are no cards or cake......the fact I am alive with my family is always enough.

Pax.

If it's good enough for Jesus Seal.......... ;o)

My silver anniverary in February, 25 years on & I intend to do something special. Maybe goto Portugal where I had my accident. Nah Vegas baby ;o)

Happy to report I had a really nice get together with my daughter, who scares me each time, probably not the right words, she's blossomed and become a real adult since she went to uni. I wish she was doing something that I could understand, even if it was just a scrap, way beyond me.

Today's bad it's hit home, all that's been damaged or lost.

Tomorrow will be better.

I know how anniversaries affect. For me I prefer to keep to a normal routine with little notice or regard for the anniversary. I can imagine that nice catch up with your daughter, celebrating your anniversary, will remind you of certain aspects to your brain injury. Such love and emotion felt surrounding your daughter's achievements at Uni. Yes, how did they ever grow up to be so beautiful and wise?! I feel likewise.

Yes, I think you will feel better tomorrow too xx

You may also like...