So since coming back Friday Ive felt mega depressed and undecided with it comes to everything (I keep pacing around my flat thinking of how to pick myself up, I have to try multiple things), my sleep pattern is more messed up (I woke up at 5am yesterday and 4 am today) ) but going away for a bit did make it default to normal (wake up at 7/8am) which felt nice, because I feel mega depressed my brain is ignoring my body requests for food and I have to force myself to go to the shop, get food, then eat it and all I want to do it curl up under the duvet and start at the ceiling (which isnt good as it feds the depression) and the combo of my womanly issue is causing me mega pain and it being freezing isnt helping but Im hoping the group meditation started on Wednesday will help me deal with my yo-yo-ing mood (Im still not use to it despite dealing with it for a year now),
At least the baby swannies earlier this week cheered me up (and alternating between my swan cuddly toy and simba cuddly toy since coming back helps, yes Im a nearly 31 year old women and I still snuggle the teddy (simba not the swan) I had when I was 10 as it still smells of my grandparents house and I dont have a man to snuggle to because dont fully trust anyone completely still) and looking at my custom blog stats cheers me up that people are reading it
And when you've grown up with not being able to put the heating on in your room or have hot baths/showers because you know you will get told off, it really is a luxury to be able to it when ever you want for how ever long you want, the perks of independent living *hugs radiator*
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bexx87
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Morning Bex, are you still taking Sertraline? For depression its so much more than tablets. For instance, the way I handle my low mood/depression is through diet, lots of nature walks (with dogs), meditation and listening to classical music (Beethoven and Mozart). Agreed this doesn't work for everyone but it does help stabilise and elevate the mood. Also connection and communication with others, even if you're not feeling particularly sociable - is always useful to divert attention on to others. Get out there Bex and don't let your present state suck you down any further!!
I love the picture you took of the cygnets btw - its amazing they allowed you to get that close to them.
Thanks for the reply, One side is closed off but the other side you can walk to path by the brook and I sat on the grass and they swam right over, it was so nice so I fed them some grass (I didnt risk trying to pet them as Dad was watching them)
Yes, Im still taking Sertaline for anxiety not depression as the depression isnt as bad as it was before I started taking Fluoxetine about 10 years about (wow), I normally wait it out which can take anytime between hours and days to fade.
I do listen to music to help but I mainly use exercise (I will force myself to go to zumba later if I remeber and I can use it to solicalise as the teacher text me last night so they will want to know all about what I g o up to which wasnt much and I go on a game forum which has a live chat when I dont want to leave) and its to cold to go out for a walk (currently but I will need to go out to get food) but I did alot of walking in Devon (it takes about a hour to walk to from Dawlish Warren to Dawlish), I also play a game on my phone called disney emo blitz which distracts me (like candy crush but disney characters) and I sometimes do house work to distract me and cheer me up and I play my game and update my blog to distract me as well (simapopulas.co.uk)
Changing from my pjs to jumper and trousers has slightly raised my spirits and I tolk some pain killers with some coffee but it didnt help.
Just saw your post and sorry to hear you're struggling at the minute. As if women's problems weren't enough with everything you have had going on lately. I'm glad you're using positive things like Zumba etc to get yourself to a more even place......that's exactly what I do. I feel sure the cold weather doesn't help. Your holiday sounded lovely. I always try to think about planning to get away next year when I'm stuck indoors....it's good to have something to look forward to. Love the swan picture. You must have been so close to them, yiure braver than me then Hope you soon have a lift in your mood. Take care x
Hi, Thanks, My zumba teacher did check if I was coming but the pain, tears and sleepness got so bad i couldnt move but I said I will try and make it on wednesday if the mindfulness group therapy doesnt get me down to much and I have my craft group tuesday so I have little perks thoughout my week to keep me going.
I have just been listening to music and talking to the teacher as she is tempting me with sweets for wednesday, my mood still yo-yo-ing and Im not looking forward to go to work tomorrow but I cant let my womenly problems get the better of me as I have a software upgrade to do that has been scheduled for about 2 months now
and I can watch the live Blenheim Dawlish Beach Cam on youtube to watch the waves rolling:
Thanks Bexx I'll have a look. I don't think it does any harm to rest if you're really not feeling up to a strenuous exercise class at certain times. Zumba will still be there next week and you'll enjoy it more when you're not in such discomfort x
I'm a bit like go go gadget and never rest in forever doing something so when I forcefully lie down and don't move it feels weird and I think of the thinks I could be doing and guilt trip myself
Depression is not fun at all. I too would suggest getting out into nature - trees, the sea, water, anything you are drawn to. Also try to get your blood pumping by walking faster or running if you can.
And talking is very good even though it is last thing you may feel like doing. And if you can try to apply an opposite thought to on that is depressing. take care
Low mood like you have described here - remembering crappy times etc. is not depression. Hard though it may be to believe, 'Mr Funky' is an image I like to project, but even I, can have times of crippling depression (I say 'even I' but it is 'normal' to be fed up or have a low mood sometimes - the same way that feeling really happy is normal) Depression is, of course, a medical extreme - in the same way that delirium is an extreme of happy. 'Swedishblue' has a good idea. When I am feeling down, I try and put the brakes on it by listening to fast and upbeat music like punk (ignore the lyrics and feel the beat) is a good motto. Music for the early morning, however can be more gentle such as Mozart or other light classical - it lets your brain chill to the point of oblivion - put a night playlist on your phone to help you drift off.
No I suffer from depression I know what it feels like I've suffered from it on and off since I was 13 so it's not just low mood it's far worse I was put on fluxatatine when I was 19 for 2 years which helped lift it which is why it doesn't effect me as much as it did but it will never leave it will always be a constant factor in my life unless I get given a new frontal lobe
I am sorry, but you described textbook 'blues' we both know there is a massive difference between down and depression. If you believe that the only way you will be able to recover from your depression is to have a new frontal lobe, is a bit fantasist. I want you to understand that you can use strategies to recover from your depression, the most effective (in my case) is by being positive about ANYTHING. Both you and I know that tablets are the great 'neural sticking plaster' on the brain amputation/ surgery. That is to say that they don't make things better, they just make it easier to slide and depend on them psychologically so we think without them we cannot cope when in fact we are just more vulnerable and we have to concentrate harder on being positive
thanks I now feel like I CANT express how I feel on here any more incase someone takes it the wrong way and I get called incorrect in how I FEEL even and for some people drugs Do help despite the amount of positive thinking that happens and are you a neurophysiologist or do you want me to show you in black and white ink that neurophysiologists at Frenchay told my mother I suffer from depression !!!
hi love i might be wrong or right i no how you feel , i wont trust people any more except on here and helpline angels yes love our site is so special ,
id say from my heart you will get there by going the shop going to see baby swans be proud of yourself that takes a lot of courage inner strenth
and having something precious teddy (simba to cuddle . thats good
nothing wrong with that ive still got the pillow covers from when i lost my mum so i no im 53 and man i no . so i ve started to go to my local church ,
and its beautifull and i met the the guy ollie whos in charge of all things in the church and out side this is about you love so i say can i go around and pick any litter up o he takes me around and says eddie we cant by law clean old headstones i had my bag my picker up handle bin bags special brushes
i even took my electrick toothbrush with the intent of like an archioligist
to gently restore and clean graves but by law if you get permission ,
of the family but its very delicate situation anyway it took a lot i mean
like i need to go shops ive a back up of things that need addressing
but i say ill deal with them when i feel like anyway ollie showed me a lot i can do its so windy all flowers blow over special ornaments even head stone so the lovely man said eddie follow me m8 and i told him everything ive got so im allowed to go anywhere walk over the grass i said ollie im anxious walking over the grass i was walking over graves but he has to
so i put bird balls on every tree i stand anything thats blowns over straighten all flowere its nothing but when ive done it i come home and rest but feel good inside .so going to see beautiful swans made you feel good
cuddleing your simba doll makes you feel good bieng on our site reading other posts or even just one reply like me now love its not about me this is me from my heart to a family member dont forget love this site is our family having so many wise beautiful people weve never met but we are all connected here id say love ive a dauther your age love so i would say ,
only do what you can each day going the shop feeling like you do ,
your a hero , going to feed swans again you have innerstrenth ,
you are special never forget that love . i no how hard it is .
i suffer the same all my life now but im going to the church this is the my fourth day to tidy up is there anyone who could go the shop for you ,
love and you just if you feel strong again remember the feeling of going to see swans little steps see if you can go again or go somewere you like thats peaceful or what about getting a puppy adopt one from animal shelter
then like me thats your soulmate best freind and he or she will make
you feel ive got someone with you 24 7 someone one to cuddle hide simba
inside your pillow as i no how much it means to you just incase if you deside to adopt a dog heil or she will chew it and never forget love
day or night everyone here is here for you i hope ive maybe just onething
ive helped you love remember were all here for you hug eddie x
I don't think we should have a who's bigger question about something metaphysical such as depression.
The things that help one person may be negative for another.
I love music, 3,000 albums but if I play it when I'm depressed it's lack of joy only emphasises how bad I am, mixing with friends where people have fun, worst experience possible for me.
Drugs, for me, was a life saver.
Many people think that clinical depression is about the 'super low' feeling (depression), it's not it's about distorted thought processes that lead to the 'depression'.
your telling us your feeling vulnerable and depressed, and how hard life is.
That's greeted with lots of support but then comes replies from brumated who clearly means well i'm sure but has decided he's the king of depression and he decides whose depressed on the bases of if it fits HIS ideas and emotions????
The doctors will have made an assessment and diagnosed regarding your discussions with them which is why you were given medication, YOU DO SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION because you have a depressive illness :))
No one has the right to say what you should feel or not feel just because they feel things differently....??
I hope you have come up for air a bit from the dreadful feelings of drowning in depression it cripples a person and robs them of days and weeks at a time, i totally get where you are coming from....
Sadly when we are struggling we zoom in on a the negatives ...which is in this case came from brumatmed ..... i suggest you put those comments down to immaturity and ignorance....there is nothing to gain from them....concentrate on all the love and support the other replies offer you,
Big hugs , stay strong , you are doing fine....
and carry on cuddling your comfort items it's normal, we do these things when we feel scared and worried etc.....
And please keep writing to us about how your depression feels and is effecting you....anyone an see your depressed , you don't need to justify it darlin, to anyone xxxxx
Hi Bexx - hope you’re doign ok today - just letting you know I was thinking of you - that’s all. Keep going Eveything has to change as no two days are ever the same. It’s horrible feeling so low :/ I hope you’re up to going to Zumba next week. x
Hi awww thanks no work is still rough and Im still being treated appalling by my manager (and Im being reminded that we have a restructure coming up which petrifies me) he always does it when I get back off leave but Im going to try and go to zumba tomorrow if I have energy last night when I got home I feel straight asleep from 4pm until 3:30am this morning and I really want to curl and sleep now but Im trying to force myself to stay awake as I have my craft group at 7 but I put a small warning that I am unexpectedly tired this evening again and I make either be late or if I fell asleep not turn up at all, so my mood has been up and down for the past 2 days and when I manage to lift my spirit something surfaces to drag me back down but I was told earlier that my picture of work in ICT I will be featured on a technical policy twice along with a few other staff members (we had a official photographer come round a few months back to take photos of us working by HR and Im posing with a server as they wanted a picture of one) so when it comes out I will share and the baby swannies make me feel temporarily better when I look at all the different pictures people have taken of the new 4 additions to the extended family through out the day this is the latest one (facebook.com/photo.php?fbid...
and I play my virtual families which distracts me and cheers me up and i dont think I need to point out the parts of this thread that make me feel worse
Good to hear you’re in the publicity shots again - excellent. Restructures are happening all the time and it’s unsettling isn’t it ? I understand. I’m glad you’re thinking about Zumba - that’s a good sign. Lovely to see the swans - they’re gorgeous aren’t they
The previous ones I was never worried about but how my manager has been treated me this past year I'm now worried but everyone I talk to show me job offers I can apply for in their work place which is reasurancing but I don't wanted to go with a big pay off for 8 years and my the people from my craft group have made me feel better by showing me job offers, falling in love with the new swans and b+#:hing about my manager and this discussing this thread (as some of them are ex NHS workers so understand how everything is effecting me)
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Hope you soon have a lift in your mood. Take care x
Scared of friendships
i am very desperate
Subarachnoid Haemorrhage.
