My name is Tracey and eight weeks ago my Husband Graham was attacked causing him to fall forward and hit his head. This resulted in two skull fractures, a brain bleed and damage to the tissue at the front of his head.
We have had a terrible time not helped by my Husband leaving hospital three times and returning home while on a DOL.
I have had Police threatening to Tazer him to force him back into hospital, watched my two Daughters breaking down begging their Dad not to break the back door in desperation to get away, five hours of hell.
My Husband is Attention Deficit and finds some situations hard to manage but as a team we have always got there. However due to the injury it is now huge and he is hard to manage.
If I ignore his remarks and childlike behaviour he follows me around repeating it, if I get into conversation he is nasty.
Last night he went to the pub and came back at 12.30 calling me a c**t. Everything is blown out of proportion, my Husband who went out the door on 25th Feb has gone and I am dealing with a spiteful, heartless, stranger.
I got up this morning after hearing his latest MRI results are now at the Doctors. Cant speak to anyone until after 5.30 today about it, walked down the stairs and just lost it.
I am shaking, teeth chattering, can't stop crying, at a loss for what to do.
Desperately need rehab to be put into place as my marriage of 35 years is falling apart.
Sorry people, I know this is not about me and my Husband is the injured party but this is so hard, I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel.
Is anyone else in this position, I need to know that this is not uncommon and I may get my Husband back.
Written by
traceyannie
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Anyone on here will tell you 8 weeks is very early in brain injury recovery, i know that doesnt help but honestly no one can tell how long and to what extent your husband will recover.
You all really have your hands full and i can only think that medication may have to be the way to help control the situation.
But, i am not qualified, until your husbands condition stabilizes its going to be a bumpy ride. And although he probably will not listen, alcohol is the worst solution.
Rehab will be a very restrictive environment and they will have to take the needs of the other patients into consideration as well as your husbands.
I do hope you get some respite and the results of the MRI will prompt some further help for you.
Take care
Janet x
I am so sorry Tracey, it is such a difficult stage to manage. As Janet says, it is still very early days and his brain still has a lot of healing to do. What it really needs is rest but obviously he doesn't think so. If you can get through this time, you will probably find he settles down a bit but you may never get back the husband that you had. I would suggest you visit your doctor and get some help for yourself, this is going to really wear you down.
I am sure we are all thinking of you, many of us have been where you are now.
Tracey, I'm gleaning that your man is no longer the subject of a Dols order and is now back home ? (If he was able to leave a locked ward it doesn't say much about the hospital safety measures)..
As Janet and Jan have said, the long term effects of a brain injury can't be judged in a couple of months because there's so much restorative work for the brain to do, and this can be a painfully slow business.
In the meantime I'm wondering whether the doctors have suggested medication to reduce Graham's anxiety/anger which I assume is intensified by his ADH ?
Has already been said this is very early days. I understand completely where you are coming from, having some of the issues with my husband as you are with yours. Although my husband's behaviour hasn't not been as aggressive as yours sounds to have been.
It is so difficult when the man you have loved for all these years has gone and been replaced by some one you would never have dated let alone marry.
Mine is 12 weeks post surgery for a sub arachnoid haemorrhage. They believe the initial bleed was undiagnosed 10 years ago after a motor bike accident. He's bled in 3 places having silent bleeds over a period of time.
Has he been referred for a full cognitive assessment ? If not then I'd see if you can get a referral. There is a long wait unfortunately. Where I live it's 12-16 weeks. But once done it will show what damage had been done. Then the correct coping strategies ect can be discussed.
My husband and I are currently living separately because his behaviour has affected me so much. I've started Counselling which will hopefully help. If you haven't already I'd try and find one for yourself. You need to look after yourself as a priority.
It is so damn hard. I'm hoping that in time I get back some part of the man I married. No one can give definate answers because no one truly knows the answers.
tracey i did the same to my wife. she had a meltdown at work, broke down in the drs surgery and i was referred to a psychiatrist who i still see now, that was 6 years ago.
i too was left with speach disorder except mine doesnt include the c word.
i also have short term memory problems, noise intollerance, inappropriate behaviour, which along with my swearing and rudeness im not aware of until my wife picks me up for it.
oh and ive also been diagnosed with epilepsy and adhd oh and some sort of personality disorder.
my wife looked up our local monthly headway group and we started going there, great for me i could talk to people who understood what i was going through because theyd been there themselves and youd pick up things from the darlings who put up with us.
i take cabamazapine a behavioural med, its also used for epilepsy, it works, but like every thing i still have my moments.
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