Family meeting

[thymus72]

Hi

We have our first family meeting scheduled very soon. My husband is 12 weeks post subdural haematoma. In the acute setting , communication was dire and I am so pleased to actually have a forum where we can discuss all those unanswered questions. My father in law and sister in law have kind of invited themselves to this meeting and I was thinking that it might be a little personal and that I and my husband may prefer it if was just us. I very politely asked my sister in law to give me any questions and I would make notes and let her know afterwards so she doesn’t have to attend. She got really cross with me. We are in our 40s with two children. Do we really need his family at this meeting? They will be supportive but I and my husband don’t feel comfortable baring all in front of them. My husband is very frontal lobe- lacks insight, really poor short term memory, can’t plan, concentrate etc. Communication in tact and will be at the meeting. Please help. I’m about to fall out with them!

[Hidden]

Could you compromise and have them in for part of the meeting ? You are lucky that You have family who care and want to be involved in his rehabilitation.

I've done the last12 weeks completely alone and my mental health has deteriorated badly. I wish he had family who cared enough to be around and to be involved.

I appreciate that there will be things that you want to remain private. So could they not go either go in at the beginning of the meeting ask what they want and leave or go in towards the end. You need the support so please don't fall out with them x

[Elkay_1954]

Hi. This post really made me think....

I totally understand that you are a family unit and you have a strong desire for some privacy in this difficult situation - and when something like this happens to a family there can be a tendency to ‘batten down the hatches’ and keep small and strong.

But...you may really all need each other in the near future - your family and your husband’s family - so think about the situation carefully if you can.

Our family are still coming through a (five year) traumatic brain injury recovery process and I don’t know how we would still be here... and sane... without our wider group of family and friends. In our case, it was our (unmarried) son so automatically my husband and I, plus his siblings, took control of his care. If he had been married and we (and his siblings) had been excluded, we would all have been devastated.

Hopefully you will find a way to work through this together. You all have a very special kind of support to offer your husband through this difficult time and their involvement may be invaluable in the future.

X

[thymus72 in reply to Elkay_1954]

Thanks. That’s exactly it - we all have a special kind of support. My sister in law is very emotional and I Am very practical. This is where we are clashing.

I will certainly split the meeting in two. I am appreciative of their support . I am just overwhelmed and need a specific kind of support!

Thanks v much.

[dbyeti]

In cases like this, I like to blame someone else! Can you say that it is the doctor who has suggested that the meeting (or part of the meeting if you split it in two) is just you and your husband? Good Luck With the Meeting!

[steve55]

i too have that problem and been left with a speech impediment so my request would not be as polite.

i take it he has mood swings shouts, noise intolerant amongst others, i dont know how long hes been out of hospital and what further appointments youve made with the gp, but in my case it was a psychiatrists appointment and still is 6 years on.