New to this, daughter of a mum who has just had a ... - Headway


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New to this, daughter of a mum who has just had a bleed on the brain


Hi all, my mum 3 months ago was rushed into hospital with a brain heamorrage. I have been so stressed and down as I'm her only next of kin, I have a family of my own but it's taking it's toll on me. My mum is due to be discharged from hospital just before Christmas, what can I expect and any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you

14 Replies

A care plan should be put into place before she is discharged. Don’t let anyone assume you will do it, you have your family to care for and you must put yourself and them first.

It is not easy being anyone’s carer I am the one with the brain injury in our household and I know how it must be difficult for my husband because he has to work. Also I can care for myself most of the time, just him having to bring me a drink before leaving for work when he’s late or coming home and having to cook because it’s a bad day for me, plus the housework I can’t do etc etc.

So make sure there is plenty of help, you haven’t said if your mum will be going back to her own home or coming to you.

Think long and hard about how things will work and don’t underestimate it’s a lot different when there are no healthcare professionals just at the press of a button.

Get a detailed picture of the problems your mum will face and make sure it’s sll covered.


Jill07 in reply to Kirk5w7

Thank you so much for the advice x

Yes sorry to hear about your difficult time. How is your mum can she walk etc any memory problems?

Jill07 in reply to Prettythings1

She can walk just speech and language issues as frustrated she can't say a word that she knows. But is describing things to explain

Prettythings1 in reply to Jill07

All you can do is be patient i had a massive bleed it effected my whole left side I still can’t use my left arm post ten years. I can walk but my balance isn’t the best and I have a limp also have field vision problems too!

Never struggled with language or speech Im afraid accept speaking but that came back fast! I’ve always been hard to keep quiet!

Hope you find a way to explain thingsfor her without it being frustrating for you all! X

I would've expected the specialist nurse to have discussed a care package for your mum ; if not, you should ask the staff to arrange for a meeting with her/him as soon as possible.

If your mum is coming to live with you I'd imagine (judging from my own experience) that she will need, more than anything, her own space to where she can escape if overwhelmed by too much stimulus.

Normal family life can be exhausting after a brain haemorrhage. I'm almost 6 years on and still need to escape frequently from conversation, children, tv etc., And your mum might appear to be sleeping longer then 'normal' ; let her sleep as it's essential for healing her poorly brain.

There are a range of after effects your mum might, or might not, have to cope with such as short-term memory loss, irritability, emotional lability, headaches, insomnia...............

You might want to phone the Headway helpline for free printed information on what to expect after a brain haemorrhage. The number is 0808 800 2244 (free calls-office hours).

I hope you'll get the information and support you need in caring for your mum Jill. Best wishes for her continuing improvement and better days ahead for you all. Cat x

Jill07 in reply to cat3

Thank you very much for your advice x

scott1556 in reply to cat3

Hi Cat

Its Sharon, you gave me lots of really useful advice when mum was poorly in the Summer. Mum is home now (has been for a while) and coping with support. In fact, she is great, out and about with her friends. She has her moments, but generally she copes really well.

Thank you for your support.

Sharon x

cat3 in reply to scott1556

Sorry, just found your post ! Sending my best wishes for your mum's continuing good progress....

Love Cat xx

Hello Jill

My mum fell and had a bleed on the brain in May of this year. She underwent an op to remove the clot and came through it OK - it was a difficult journey for her and us, but she pulled through. She was discharged at the end of July into a rehab home for a month. This was a real bonus for us as it helped her with her recovery.

Push hard for a care plan to be put in place; I had to be really firm with the hospital and told them that both my sister and I work so we couldnt care for mum full time - you will need to persevere but it will be worth it. They have an obligation of care; they cant let her home unless all the boxes are ticked. Try and get as much support as you can and do it now - before she is released.

Mum is home and has carers coming in to help a few times a week. She funds this herself but she gets an attendance allowance which helps. Another tip - look at all the help you can get with funding, speak to Age UK, they are really good for helping you with all this - there are benefits that your mum maybe eligible for. Again, persevere with this.

The above is all quite tiring, but it will get better. I wont lie, our lives have all changed - mum relies on my sister and I alot (and her carers) but she is well and living at home. Also, you must take time out for yourself and spend time with your family. Be strong - it will get better.

She will improve as the weeks go by. Three months is nothing for a brain injury. Mum's memory is still quite bad, but we joke about it now. We use a white board and a diary to put appts etc on - the white board is great as a memory jogger. We also use children's puzzle books - basically you need to stimulate her brain into action again. I did tons of research on how the brain works which helped me to get a better understanding of what to expect (Headway have loads of stuff). When mum left hospital her speech was impaired slightly and was terribly confused. All fine now.

Also, ensure that her sodium levels are good (again ask the hospital about it). A side effect of a brain injury is low sodium, which again can cause confusion, bad memory etc - push for regular blood tests through your local GP.

I guess my message is: push for help from all the sources around you. It is hard work but you will come through it and get the support for your mum that she needs.

Good luck!!

Sharon x

Jill07 in reply to scott1556

Thank you so much. Will take this advice x

Is your mother physical and mentally injured? Cannot really imagine what problems you will have as each person with this type of injury has differed disabilities. I have both physical and mental disabilities. My husband finds my moods the hardest to deal with as a home can be adapted to deal with physical problems.

Best wishes


jill07 will she be living at hers or with you?

how mobile is she

is she incontinent

is she able to communicate.

you need to discuss all this with the hospital to decide whether shell need a care plan in place before she leaves hospital ( make sure it is in place ).

behaviour you could expect, aggression or mood swings, noise intollerance ( kids making a noise etc ), inappropriate behaviour .


Make sure you have a care package in place and as much support as you can get. Use the facilities that are out there.... they maybe hard to find... but keep pushing for the help...

I am 12 years post brain haemorrhage now and find that too much noise is frustrating I still need my own space....

Use a notepad if your Mum is able to write if not put some common words in there so that she can point to them

All the best and am available to answer more questions if you like to ask!

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