Living with boyfriend

[jess25]

I also want to post about mine and my boyfriends plans for next year, we would like to rent somewhere near his family home close to therapy for him, I earn not a great deal and I would like to pay half obviously with him, would he be able to do this if he still can’t work and would his benefits allow us to move in together?! Stuck!

[RogerCMerriman]

He would need to apply for housing benefit, so the answer is yes probably. Is he living at his parents house at moment?

[jess25 in reply to RogerCMerriman]

I thought that is maybe what he may need to do but I’m unsure if he will be working by then or not, yeah he lives with his parents and brothers

[RogerCMerriman in reply to jess25]

Possibly the CAB might be a good start to see if they can be sure if you both could get some Wear?

[jess25]

Yeah I will try next year thing is you never know with a TBI things can change from one week to the next! Just worried it will never happen for us because of his injury, but I have to be positive I guess!

[Daylight123 in reply to jess25]

Hi jess

I moved in with my boyfriend who has IB and other health problems 2years ago. We were both single parents. He was on benefit at the time and our expectation was that we would split all bills etc 50:50 as we both want to be equal in the relation given that his total benefit income was the same as my P/The working income. My partners benefits were dramatically cut as soon as we moved in, as we were viewed as a household meaning that my wages were used in his assessment our benefits. We were not viewed as individuals. In reality we would have been financially better off not moving in together as he was only able to contribute a third towards bills etc and had less money to live on. I thought about changing jobs and increasing hours but any thing I earn came of his benefit making him more dependent and less independent. I knew it was not his fault and that the benefit system abusives a working partner who chooses to live with a person who had a disability. Although angry I kept focus on bigger picture we had our home and happy kids and lots of good luck.

My advice is to do some calculations on Turn to us website to work out your combined income from benefit and wages. They also have a confidential advice line. You might have to think outside the box to find out what works best for you as a couple. Contact me direct if you want to talk more.

[jess25 in reply to Daylight123]

Hi daylight123 thankyou for your reply, that’s what we would want to do but realistically I may have to just live on my own and him with parents for now, the only issue is that I’m 40 minutes away from him so it’s very tough! But I don’t think I’m ready to move my whole life yet, I live on my own now but I only need a couple of £100 quid to help me along, I think we will look into it in the new year! Not gonna be easy, thankyou for your advice, you have a great outlook on everything!

[Daylight123 in reply to jess25]

Hi Jess

The benefit self assessment website that i use is Turn2us. You can use basic information your income, estimate for now your rent if you move in together and the benefits you think he would get it will just give you a general indication. when you have correct info its pretty accurate. You can run different scenarios just to get an idea. You can also phone the helpline and they will checkout confidentially what your partner can apply for and how much you'd have as an joint income between wages and benefits.

Get yourselves on the housing register for affordable housing his BI should help him get extra points and they will build up over time.

Being in a relationship with a partner who has a BI , other health problem and is in the benefit system is really challenging but I think its worth if you love each other. There are real unexpected challenges its not plain sailing by no means . We just try our best to face them together but I also think I have someone uniquely special because of BI. He makes me laugh every day priceless. He is the most fantastic cookbook cook and spends ages telling me what Moroccan dish he is cooking, an hour later he calls me for dinner and he's cooked bangers and mash. I'm just glad he's cooking. Or is he just a typical man says one thing does another

[steve55 in reply to jess25]

jess25 as daylight123 has said your income will be taken into account which means your partners benefits will be heavily slashed.

[jess25 in reply to steve55]

Yeah I may just wait until he gets a job sounds like it is going to be complicated

[steve55 in reply to jess25]

jess25 you said you may wait until he gets a job, when was his tbi and what symptoms does he still show?

steve

[jess25 in reply to steve55]

His TBI was almost 2 years ago now his only symptoms is that he can’t read and write well but that’s all

[steve55 in reply to jess25]

just wondered jess25 because my moods and behaviours are unpredictable, thats why i dont go out on my own.

steve

[razyheath43]

yes housing benfit will take into acount what you earn and they will decduct it from his benifit,all of his benifits,but do go and get advice

[bexx87]

Check with your council to see if you can get a council house (because can technically say you will be his carer (gov.uk/browse/benefits/disa... and how to sort out housing benefit don't know what part of the country you live (will look something like this: bristol.gov.uk/ ) there will be 2 sections on the home page (eg; bristol.gov.uk/housing / bristol.gov.uk/benefits-fin... but you can check out gov.uk (or specifically gov.uk/browse/benefits) & you can get a rough idea (like this gov.uk/benefits-calculators or gov.uk/housing-benefit , this a new things that's coming out gov.uk/universal-credit and this is how it will come into effect gov.uk/health-conditions-di... / gov.uk/housing-and-universa... / gov.uk/government/publicati... ) if you do say you will be his carer you can get allowance for it ( gov.uk/carers-allowance) (how do I know ... because I work for a council) or you can try CAB (citizen advice bureau) citizensadvice.org.uk/

apologise for going over board before you get chance to response .... or you could book mark the links if your not planned on living with him until the new year