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[Mufc]

I use to be a cancer research nurse 20 years ago. Then was involved in a car accident with my husband and 18 month old child. My husband and child survived I was unconscious for 3 months. Aged 35 at time of accident. Now 54, cannot cope with it. Need to communicate with others who have gone through similar incident.

[Clgn83]

Hello their, my partner has a hypoxic brain injury, what was ur injuries if you dont mind me asking x

[Mufc in reply to Clgn83]

Cause I do not mind you asking. I do not really understand the actual name for my injury. But I have been left unable to balance so I have to use wheelchair and have regular Physio therapy. My memory has gone as well. I cannot remember getting married or giving birth to my daughter. But as we always say life goes on, I have not been able to accept this though. I am only just coming to terms with what I cannot do. I live with my husband and daughter now. Not being allowed to drive is a real problem for me. People with my tbi cannot drive. Yes before the accident I worked and drove. It’s actually nice to talk to people who understand.

Take care

[Clgn83 in reply to Mufc]

My partner is 13months on, I would love a fast forward button to get to the outcome... its nice to hear from survivors as its so easy to feel negative at such an unpredictable time x

[Mufc in reply to Clgn83]

There is no fast forward button you have to take each day as positively as you are both able. If you both are positive you will reach an outcome that suits you both.

My husband has tried very hard for the past 20 years to deal with me his Disabled wife. Yes we disagree a lot. He is now able to leave me by myself so long as I have every thing to hand in the house I can cope. He gets his freedom by going away without me and I get my freedom in my home. I can do what I like when I like. I cannot drive so I cannot just escape in the car like he can. Hope you two can adapt. My situation will not change so we are both stuck, can or will your partners situation improve?

If you need any more information please feel free to contact me.

Best wishes

Mufc

[Clgn83 in reply to Mufc]

I have messaged you x

[DTBI]

I had a heavy TBI nearly 4 yrs ago. I cycled land’s end to John o’ groats in 9 days before I started my new business in Oct. Who you are is what you think, an opinion that Buddha came up with centuries ago. Mind positivity is crucial. Good luck with it x

[silver_j in reply to DTBI]

Just the kind of positive, short sweet advice we can all benefit from, thanks DTBI

[spider555]

Nearly 20 years is hard work.

Have you tried with counselling?

[sca2013]

Have you talked with the people at Headway 0808 800 2244? They should be able to offer you some ideas and help.

[keeley24]

I was involved in a car accident 5 years back. My balance is effected mainly tho luckily doesn’t effect my life. I can’t balance on one leg more than a few seconds. I had to have physio which luckily didn’t take long. Arn’t you able to get around with walking frame if your balance is the main issue?

Out of interest do you remember your accident or know what happened? I don’t remember mine but remember everything else before and after. I found out I was driving on motorway close to where I was to turn off and my car lost control, hit hard shoulder barrier, spun onto its roof and landed in middle lane where another car hit it. I had to be cut out of the car very lucky to even survive never mind get back to normal.

[Mufc in reply to keeley24]

Unfortunately I cannot walk around other people as they are not aware of my problems. It is safer to use a wheelchair. Yes I walk around our home unaided but I know where things are to use when I loose balance. In other houses I use a walking stick. I cannot remember the accident at all or the hospital then rehabilitation hospital. I had to have 24 hour staff when I was discharged home. Now I have no staff just my husband. He does all the cooking and driving. My temper is unstable do you have any other problems? We have to be grateful we are alive and except the new people we have become😊

[keeley24 in reply to Mufc]

Sometimes forget things that I’m told to do or don’t notice certain things when out. I think most people forget stuff from time to time so not sure if my forgetting stuff is cos of BI. I was in wheelchair while in hospital and hated it the having to rely on others for basic things that people take for granted that they can do themselves. It’s only now I realise how very lucky I’ve been for it not to have effected me more or for longer.

It seems common for people to have more memory loss than the actual BI I know a man who goes to The BI group I go to can’t remember his life before BI. Also the man who set the group up couldn’t remember his past for a while afterwards.

[Mufc in reply to keeley24]

I would be lost without my electric wheelchair. I hated having to be pushed around by other people and going where they think I want to go. Electric wheelchairs expensive but for my peace of mind worth every penny.

[keeley24 in reply to Mufc]

Yea I guess you have to make most of what you have and get used to what you can do. I know when I came round from being in coma I couldn’t wait to start physio to get some mobility back. I was like when will I start when will this happen when will that happen. Once I got started with physio I could walk on walking frame within days so I wasn’t as impatient. I was more like rest will come in time. Honestly it wouldn’t of bothered me too much needing frame longer as I could still get up and about using frame so I was happy. Obviously knew at some point it would be taken away but I was in no rush.

[Mufc in reply to keeley24]

Keeley 24

How many years have you been disabled. Ihave been having regular Physio for 20 years. My patients was no good I wanted to walk as soon as possible. Because of balance I cannot walk independently this is my next goal which people do not think will every happen but it will I know me and my determination.

Mufc

[keeley24 in reply to Mufc]

It’s been 5 years since my car accident. I was told by doctors that it was my own determination to get better that helped me recover so fast. If you want something enough you will do it good luck.

A woman who goes to the BI group I go to had been in a wheelchair for about 3 year til a few week ago and she is going to walk along the Humber bridge in February I think it’s about 3 mile but she is determined she will manage it. A lot of us who go to the group are walking with her. For rest of us it will be easy but for her it will be a big challenge I’m looking forward to sharing with her.

[Mufc in reply to keeley24]

Tell her from me if she is determined enough she will do it and extend my good luck. Doctors told my husbandI would die. But being a very determined person I survived.As my husbandsays it was so I could nag at him as he was driving our car when we had the accident,20 years on I am still here not the same person I was. But I will keep going and try to keep improving.

[keeley24 in reply to Mufc]

Well done really having BI doesn’t need to hold you back. The man who set the BI group up that I go to had BI 5 and half years back and has just on Sunday completed his 5th marathon of the year in New York. He really struggled with everything mind related after BI so I think him focusing on exercise was his way of having some control over what he did. To see him now you wouldn’t know he had BI tho he admits there are still things he struggles with and now I’m getting to know him there is signs sometimes that it does still effect him.

[johnny1963]

Hi MUFC.

I seem to be in a similar situation. I was 14 years old when I was knocked down by a lorry on a main road. I was in a coma for seven days. in hospital a further 3 weeks. I'm also 54 now.

I do have a lot to discuss. Too much to put down here. If you want to chat please fire away. ill answer as soon as I can.

John

[Mufc in reply to johnny1963]

Hi Johnny 1963

I am sure we have a lot to discuss. I look forward to communicating in the future.

Best wishes

Mufc

[Mufc in reply to johnny1963]

Yes John I would like to know how you cope. Are you be yourself or do you have family help.

[johnny1963]

Hi Mufc,

Thanks for answering so promptly.

Looking forward is the only way now.

Best wishes.

john