Here, there

Hello all, luke here, brain injured 2008.

Ran off to Georgia (the country) last year, back here again this.

Do family just give up after a while? Guess my Mum's got her own issues.

I am not sure if I should try and live here alone, return to the UK or go somewhere else. Not been this stuck since I pushed myself around different places in our world to escape the madness of home back in 2010. I've done a bit of teaching English abroad. That's my career! I know life can be tough for anyone. Some support would be nice:)...

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21 Replies

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  • You cannot keep running away from your problems. Either try to sort things out with the family or realise that things with them will never be right. In that case, try to find out what and where you want the rest of your life to be. It's time to settle down now.

  • Thanks

  • You are very young so make the most of opportunities that present themselves. If you're a free spirit you will find it difficult to stay in one place. Have you done a TEFL course? If not, do one now!! Times here in the UK are very fraught and topsy-turvy with Brexit happening. Trust your instincts! If it was me I would throw caution to the wind and work abroad again. There's such a huge demand for english teachers everywhere in Europe and further afield. A friend's son has just returned from India having taught English there for 3 + years. I haven't spoken to her about how Barney did but my guess is he had a great time. If you're interested in working in Europe, then I think you need to get yourself there before we leave in March 2019, when we don't know what's going to happen! No, I don't think times have moved on much since 2010. Just focus on yourself not your family as they sound as useful as a chocolate fire guard.

    Personally i think you might even enjoy working with an overseas agency like the Red Cross. The world really is your oyster! Good Luck and Bon Voyage!

  • Thank you. Yes i have tefled myself silly for the majority of the last 5.5 years. Kinda wana move on to something more. Finding a new way I guess.

    Funny b exit and English demand mentioned at the same time!

    Making the most of Europe makes sense but not sure I can afford to survive starting up in Spain or Portugal at the moment. Georgia's cheap but the works in the capital which is horribly ex Soviet.

    Family is unpleasant. I can ignore but I'm not sure that's the right way to do things.

    Could really do with a fresh page...

    Enjoy the beautiful Countryside of England and the range of supermarket products♡

    Thanks for your support

  • Hello Luke,

    Well done for going out there and giving teaching overseas a shot.

    What might have been right for you back then, like going to Georgia might not be right for you now.

    If stability or a more familiar environment is massively important to you right now, with your experience, you could try working for English language schools in the UK? Brexit doesn't mean we won't have foreign students visiting and wanting to learn English.

    If you want a change from TEFL completely perhaps, try a new city in the UK for a 'fresh start'?

    Best wishes

  • Thank you soo much. Great to have another view point. Yes stability would be nice but how do I do it!?

    Do I have enough money to rent? What about work? Where?

    If i arrive back at Luton airport where do i go. Home is horribly traumatic every f ing time! The last time she flipped just as i was leaving it gutted me. How can she continue like this towards me after i was so seriously injured.she saw me in hospital. Maybe that's why. Whatever the reason It really hurts.

    I'm going from place to place here. Taking my suitcase! I'm really struggling!

    Need that moment of clarity/inspiration that comes to me at times like this. Guess I find the stable life boring but know I need it. Maybe an age thing. 33now and feeling the stability thing more.

    Thanks for your support♡

  • Hi, if you can live abroad alone then you can here.

    if you present yourself as homeless with a letter from your mother asking you to leave you should be considered for housing.

    you should move closer to the city e.g. Croydon.

    Leave the villages behind. London is a series of villages, but you can choose to remain anonymous or find a small group of new friends.

  • Hello and thank you

    That's so much drain for me plus the weather and light are turning in the UK, they are in Georgia but there's no clock change here.

    I feel really lost

    Hope some good can come of it.

    Thanks ♡

  • Having a constant battle with yourself and your immediate environment will be draining.

    consider doing voluntary work. It doesn't take much to find motivation if you stop thinking about yourself.

    I don't mean feeling unwell is selfish.

    a life of setbacks, lack of self esteem, etc means you start at the bottom but it also makes you humble.

    get busy.

  • Yeah. Doing is good:)

  • I always wanted to do Tefl, your lucky that you've got the choice of travelling abroad. For me I'm not well enough to go, but I know I'm lucky that my mum is always there for me.

    B.I is a massive change to your life, so don't feel worried about needing help for mental health.

  • Thanks.

    What support is available?

    I found travelling a kind of therapy but it was also a get away.

    I did try therapies.

    I don't want to think too much now. I get overwhelmed.

    Thank you and I wish you all the best♡

  • It appears this forum is more useful than I anticipated.

    good luck Luke.

    the more you do for yourself the better you feel, no matter what. Cooking talking walking 🚶.

    make small steps count.

  • Hi Luke,

    Whatever you choose I suggest it should be somethng that can create more options for you in the future. I did not have a "straight line" career, I took opportunities as they came up-- as long as i could see that they would add to my skills and capabilities and understanding. The world is tough but someone who builds a track record of being willing to work hard, respect other people and continually learn is always able to find work. Teaching is a great thing. You may want to try something new, but it is great to recognize that you can always feel good / better by helping others. Consider NGO work -- you would be surrounded by people with that spirit and that happiness.

    Sometimes family, for whatever reasons, is not the best source of support. In those cases, it can be better to keep the loving feelings but (by) building some distance.

    All the best!

  • Thank you♡

  • Hi Luke,

    I often have those same practical questions about costs, living and where to live all the time.

    I have come to realise that whilst there isn't one right answer, there are better options depending on factors like: ones health condition, how far down the line you are in your recovery, how much stability you need right now and what ones financial situation looks like.

    I can relate to how much of a shock it can be with the way some people can treat you 'knowing' that you've been injured. I had a similar experience with some people.

    What I have figured out is this: some people can 'know' of your injury and if like me you had physical injuries, they might not actually 'understand' what that means.

    Understanding is more than just 'knowing' of/about something. I was on a crutch, sling had half my head shaven due to having stitches to my head...yet, some people still they couldn't 'understand' that I was injured both internally and externally.

    Since my accident, I've come to learn that some people just can't cope with stuff for whatever those reasons are. The best way I found to deal with it things (if they can't be addressed directly), is to focus on what you can do to help yourself adapt and stay positive. Adaptation and a willingness to learn will massively help you.

    Take up a new hobby, make new friends. What has got me through the rough patches has been the kindness of some people...sometimes , they have taken the form of friends or complete strangers. I have come to learn with time - it's possible to adapt, discover new ways to cope and live in the modern world post injury. Meet people with a healthy and positive outlook on life.

    Jan 2016, I couldn't walk. I ran a 10k race this summer because my manager at the time believed I could do it, I swam 66 lengths in the pool last year because my physio said my collarbone had reformed and that i was able to swim, I had to get extra swim instruction but I did it! I learnt to cycle again, I went back into studying because my friend believed I could do it.

    But...first, you'll need to believe that what you want to do is possible! You might have times when you might hit the wall with fatigue and get frustrated but don't give up!

    Find people that are kind, supportive and encouraging and keep on going :) Headway and it's members have helped me massively to adjust to this world post injury.

  • Thanks so much. I really needed that. What am I doing in Kutaisi, Georgia!?

    I left the apartment I was about to rent. Felt great but now I'm back to needing a place tonight and a plan!...its all a bit much.

    Thinking to go to a quieter guesthouse in a more rural location but once there what do I do there but think!

    There are some nice people here. Need to ask for help I guess. That's if I want to stay here! If I go where I go and what with my stuff!?

    Going home will be rough:(

    Same bad thoughts.

    Thank you

  • I am no expert with the area that you are in, but have you thought of airbnb?

    airbnb.co.uk/s/Kutaisi--Geo...

    Or a ahostel?

    hostelworld.com/findabed.ph...

    Personally, I find staying in hostels is a good way to meet other travellers but if you're in a very remote location, that could be more tricky.

    Airbnb is usually a nice way to meet a local who might be able to give you some helpful tips of interesting things to do.

    How about the school that you're at? Have you mentioned your desire to stay somewhere else, need a bit more support or a different language school?

    Might be worth checking out some online tefl forums to see what advice they give about your location.

    I too have experience tefl but only in Thailand and the UK pre-accident.

    Best wishes

  • Thank you for caring for me. It really means a lot.

    I know a lovely place in the countryside so I went there:)

    Thank you ❤

  • That's wonderful, time in nature can be so refreshing :)

  • Oh yeah but now I'm going back to the city!

    Its not pretty but without money life is shity!

    I need somewhere to live where I can chill...

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