Is all lost

Well talking to my husband today

He has decided to go back to work

He is going back to being on the roads

So tomz am going to make a appointment for him to see the doctor he has told everyone he is now ok and fit

He also tell people that am lying about what's wrong with him and that he is fit

He still don't have his licence back

He keeps trying to force me to get car taxed and insured and gets very nasty with me

Carnt take no more I want out

16 Replies

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  • Just a thought Susan.............could you arrange a telephone appointment with your GP before Scott sees him, so you could explain to the doc how unfit Scott still is, and that no way should he be approved fit for work. I don't know how convincing your man might appear to the GP, but I'm thinking that if the doc is forewarned he's less likely to be fooled.

    I don't know how capable Scott would be, left to his own devices, but is there any chance you could get away for a couple of days............a) to give you a breather and b) to shock Scott into appreciating you a bit more. I know that's harsh, but sometimes people take advantage of their illness in order to manipulate their partners into waiting on them hand & foot.

    That's not to suggest that he's a 'bad' person by any means ( he obviously needs an urgent referral for cognitive therapy or SOME type of intervention to address his deluded behaviour. If you're still thinking of making a formal complaint about the neglect of his treatment you can either contact your MP (almost guaranteed to get things moving ) or contact NHS England to make a formal complaint, (link below).

    england.nhs.uk/contact-us/c...

    I can't see you giving up, but you can't sort this mess alone. Meanwhile, if there's anything I can help you with, just ask..............I'm so sorry about your mass of troubles m'love. xxx

  • To be fair cat am sick and tired of it all so am now just going to let him get on with it

    Am so down myself and just had enough if he wants to go back to work and kill himself that's his choice I really dont give a shit no more

  • Does your son live nearby Susan ?

  • Hi,

    Quick reply before my next neuro appointment.....could you give the car to someone else for now? If you're not using it ? I gave mine to my son so I didn't accidentally forget and go out in it.

    Also just wonedered if docs would type up a letter reminding him that he is ill and must not drive ? (Or type one yourself?) Pin it on the fridge?

    Good luck.....you are doing this to keep him...and us !...safe.

    Hugs

    K

  • Hi moo

    I have tried he just takes them down.

    Am not saying he is not fit to drive now but he defo not fit for work

    I think I have been left with a monster :(

  • Take care of yourself first for sure. I'm sorry its gotten to this point. Its an exhausting and stressful way to have to live. Wishing you well going forward.

  • Just a thought if he is going back to work and has to drive how can he be covered by insurance without a licence?

    He may feel fully fit...bi makes you think you can work miracles....But if the dvla say no it means NO.

    Any company allowing an employee who has suffered a bi to drive without conformation from the dvla or seeing a driving licence is asking for trouble.

    It is easy when it's not you to comment I know. Altough I am told I can no longer work I feel that one day this will miraculously change one day.

    All the best

    Pax x

  • Yes I completely agree Pax. The DVLA should be informed of any BI and no to do so could lead to prosecution and loss of driving license. They may recommend a period of no driving or test of medical fitness to do so. People must also inform their insurance company or their insurance will be invalidated. In my mind if people are in any doubt at all they shouldn't drive. It could lead to consequences for them and other road users.

  • I never had to give my license back but was told not to drive.

    I then had to go through a full driving assessment before I could drive.

  • Yes that sounds about right. Thinking about it I didn't have to surrender my license either.

  • In his job you don't have to drive they can put you with somone that's does drive and can pick you up and take you home scott used to have do do it for a bloke that didn't drive as Scott was the ganger man

  • rose he cant have that back until hes taken a test. youve just got his benefits sorted, hes going to go back to work last one day, if that and youre back where you started.

    good luck at the docs tomoz!!!!

  • Hi, I have the same problem with my husband at the minute & it's very frustrating for myself & him. He had a head injury & had an operation on 1st oct 2016. Dvla have taken his licence off he & he's now in the process of re-applying for it. There's a place called driveability that are consultant told us about that can test him to see if he's capable which is £45 they have an occupational therapist there aswell. If they say he's capable then u don't need to make that decision & if they say he's not capable then he might just get off your back & give himself another month or two of resting. I've had many melt downs & arguments with my husband so I completely understand. I still have my moments every now & then as I have 3 children under 10 & he's still not the man he was b4 his accident xx

  • I think you may just have to let him try and fail...sometimes that is the only way...and if you have reached the end of your tether then you need to take time out for yourself, whatever form that takes. You cannot pour from an empty jug and it sounds like you are running on empty. I hope things settle for you soon.

  • I had to surrender my licence, the DVLA wrote to me and asked for it! I really miss driving but I know that I would be dangerous.

    The neurosurgeon told me that I would never be able to drive again and it continues to be the case.

    I know that I am not safe and do not have the cognitive ability to drive. I would be very mindful that he might actually kill some other poor innocent, never mind hurt himself!.

    No licence means that the insurance is invalid if it is taken out in his name. don't be pressured into misleading the insurance company as that could lead to you getting into bother and we don't want you to get into bother Rose, stay strong here xx

    No licence and no insurance is a criminal offence tell him.

    I'm so sorry Rose that you are going through this. It is really unfair on you, please look after yourself. All best wishes to you x

  • Hi raz here i have a theory,you didnot sighn up for this! most of us on here didnot! If you feel like you have had enough,then yes take a break,

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