Anything for a quiet life

Hi all I hope your having a lovely easter weekend :-) I had a day yesterday where I had set myself a task. I got myself all geared up everything ready, just at the last bit it wasn't going right. But I was trying to take my time, and I knew I was starting to feel pain. I had managed to sit on the floor and had to get up a couple of times, and was literally doubled over. As I was struggling my partner came over, he tends to be heavy handed so if he was to help I wanted to know what he was going to do. But he never tells me, instead he went straight in heavy handed and wrecked it. So I had no choice but to start again, and because I was angry and told him off you would think I was in the wrong. I finally got it done, and some other jobs before that. He changed the chain on a roller blind and cleaned up after himself. Today he's done nothing, just sat and watched tv. He has got me my meals and drinks as he usually does, but despite having trouble with my back I've been looking after our dog. She's been on my bed a lot, I've had to call him to let him know if she wants a walk or something to eat. I've just got myself up and played with her despite being in pain, while he's watched tv. It's pointless saying anything as he looks in one of his moods and I would get snapped at. Sometimes I feel like I have something written on my forehead and the patience of a saint

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  • Hi Angelfish,

    Thanks for the good wishes. Easter weekend has been lovely; our nephew is spending a week with us and he is a joy.

    The day that you described sounds very frustrating. Thank goodness for your patience, for you seem to need a lot of it. I don't have your challenges (am family of someone with a bi) but recognize those situations in which both I and my husband are feeling taxed. In those situations each person has a very clear (and sometimes magnified) sense of what he/she has done for the household but does not fully notice what the other person has done. Two sets of sore feelings of being under-appreciated collide. Sometimes I ask myself "Do I want to be right, or do I want to change things?" When I decide that I want to change things I try to explicitly thank my husband for little things he does even if I think nobody should expect a pat on the back for doing those things! Sometimes that works in turning his attitude toward requests around.

    I hope that yesterday and today and tomorrow are better for you!

    Best wishes,

    Taia

  • Morning Tala I am glad you had a good easter and having your nephew stay sounds like its doing you good. I can relate to you when you say you have to praise your husband for things even little ones. I have to do the same, it would be so nice if we got the recognition for all the things we do, but thats not going to happen. I think you have to learn to bite your tongue a lot, or walk away. My partner has had his mood swings the past two days, mainly moody with some hyper moments. I did try a few times to talk to him yesterday but when he's in his dark moods it falls on deaf ears. As I wasn't feeling very well I decided to just rest up, trouble is I feel like I'm being lazy. The sun's shining today so I might sit in the garden. I hope you have a great time with your nephew this week :-)

    Angie x

  • Hi Angie,

    LOL, how come when we rest we feel lazy and when they sit in front of the TV for hours life is "as it should be"? Enjoy the sunshine. Appreciating all the little good things in life ends up being the big thing, doesn't it? Best to you.

    Taia

  • You are so right, there are times I want to cut the plug off the tv. I get annoyed the most when I'm pushing myself to do things and he sits and watches tv or even worse watches me doing things. I did get some sunshine just for a little while, ive had to write a list of things for him to do today and asked him for a day where he goes oit and then I get time to myself :-) I need some me time

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