Hi I'm new here. My now 19 year old son had a terrible motorbike accident in august 2015, the fortunate thing he only sustained a badly broken thigh bone, meeting him at the hospital not knowing what to expect was the worse feeling ever but finding out he had only broken his leg was a miracle as he was trapped underneath a lorry (yes he was lucky). We left him in hospital that night he was in good spirits talking about him getting ready for his op the next morning to repair his leg with a pin and a few bolts, then it happened a phone call at 3:30am asking us to go back to hospital it was over an hours drive away but why why why he was absolutely fine when we left him.
We arrived went to the ward and there he was with about 10 doctors/nurses rushing around him totally lifeless, he was being put in a coma on full life support (my world came crashing down this was my baby boy and I couldn't control what was happening or help him in anyway). Test were ran, scans were carried out nothing found but his brain had suffered major damage. It was finally determined what had happened the fats from his break had gone into his bloodstream and attacked his brain its called a fat embolism shower it is really rare to happen. We went through so much he couldn't control anything his temp was a constant 41-42 his heart was 137 - 146 it was awful watching him like this and not being able to help, he had pneumonia twice. Month in ICU total of 6 months in BIRU and then another 9 months in a rehabilitation unit closer to home, luckily he remembers his family. He can not do anything for himself, he has to be hoisted, permanent wheelchair user, he came home December 2016 I became his fulltime carer. Its hard so hard because nobody knows how far he will progress, he said mum for the first time this week I broke my heart in secret, we had to move into a bungalow away from family and friends which I'm finding hard to deal with, I gave up fulltime work which I'm just about coping with, because I'm determined my boy wasn't going to spend the rest of his life in a care home. My partner still works and I find it hard to talk to him about my feelings...im lonely, isolated and this sounds really bad I need a break its been over 4 months now of continuous caring, physio and slt sessions, I don't have any other help and trying to get respite organised is a slow process. How do you cope when you feeling low and have so many questions that need answering still but I know no one really knows how far he will come. I miss adult conversation, going out is hard because my son fatigues very quickly and is incontinent and no regular routine at all. I just want what is best for my son but I also need to look after myself but I feel I'm losing me anyone else felt the same and how did you deal with it. I'm hoping I don't sound selfish because I'm not my boy will always come first. Thanks for listening and thanks in advance for any advice given.