struggling

[clocker]

2 months ago my 30 year old daughter had a subarachnoid haemorrhage she has been home for 4 weeks now,her moods are so bad it started with one good day one bad day but this past few days they all seem to be bad we dont know how to help her and are walking on egg shells any advise would be greatfully received.

[swedishblue]

Your daughter may be suffering from reactive depression to her sah which often becomes apparent around this time after. I was persuaded by my very gentle and kind gp to take citalopram (an anti-depressant) following my sah. I am glad I did as it stabilised my mood and gave me a little more energy. It took a while for the medication to take effect, o'h and also the horrible side effects to subside - but eventually I got there and started to feel a whole lot better. It is very common to feel depressed after a sah. I have discovered lately, that the Brain and Spine Foundation offer fantastic support and advice, provided by Neuro Nurses, you could give them a call. brainandspine.org.uk/

It's also a great website to glean an understanding of the long term effects of a brain injury. They don't call it a life changing event for nothing, sadly. These early days, weeks and months are so so difficult to cope with. She needs lots of tlc, patience, love, masses of rest! Gentle exercise - walking - is good too, and will help improve her mood, but only if she wants that. I combined the two - citalopram (a small dose) and walking my dogs in the countryside - away from crowds and noise, to slowly rebuild stamina, confidence and health which had taken a severe battering.

I'm sorry, you must be so worried! Stay calm and little by little you will see improvements.

[Hidden in reply to swedishblue]

She needs time to recover, the brain is a very complex organ and needs lots of time to get better. If she had shattered her leg, you wouldn't expect her to be running marathons yet!

It is very difficult to live with someone with a brain injury, but try to keep as calm and patient as possible and things will improve, just give it plenty of time.

[randomphantoms]

Hi Clocker and welcome

First and foremost welcome to the forum. P!Ease remember that many of us have brain injuries ourselves and are not always appropriate when we respond.

Having said that P!Ease ring Headway tomorrow and chat with them. See the pinned posts for how to contact them.

I hate to break it to you but 2 months is nothing in the timescale of life post brain injury.

Depending on where the injury was can have a massive impact on the changes your daughter is experiencing.

For now the best i can advise you is give your daughter plenty of space and down time, chat instead of asking questions and keep conversation down to a max of five minutes at a time.

Love n hugs

Xoxo

[moo196]

Don't worry Swedish blue....remember that part of the issue with having a brain injury or illness is saying exactly what you mean...with no filters or tact.....

Please don't take it to heart....it may be that steve55 has points to make, but not able to express them without offending.... I would kind of agree that it is difficult being the one With the damage/illness ....very different to being the one "one the outside" ....a fair bit of compromise and understanding required.

We're all capable of that....and of taking things the wrong way....

Stay in touch....

K

[Stardrop]

The good day/bad day cycle can be a sign of overdoing it, you overdo it although you feel OK the next day you are trashed, then you can sometimes slip into an even more exhausted state. It's very early days and even having lots of stimulus like TY or too many visitors or activity can flatten the batteries quickly.

I hope you have made contact with Headway and got some help.

[cat3]

I hope that by keeping things calm and quiet for a while longer, your daughter will gradually regain her composure and become less volatile.

I was only just discharged at the 2 month point after a SAH, and I mostly slept for the following few weeks as I felt constantly exhausted and couldn't cope with stimulus of any kind for more than a few minutes.

It's a long process recovering from brain injury of any type, but in the meantime talk to us here whenever you need support. All best wishes, Cat x

[magdolna]

Hello there, I had SAH 6 months ago and my moods do seem to go up and down. I try to take no notice because I know it is just the effects on the brain - bit like PMT where it is the hormones creating the downer. It seems to me that the first year might be the worst while brain settles down from its trauma. The brain is obviously sensitive and gets badly affected. No two days are the same. I got great hope from writing to a blogger Jan because I am not glad about still being alive and it would have been easier if the doctors didn't save me. However I am told it will get better and my life will be more joyful and hopeful than it certainly is now. I will find new things to do. My days are just an existence. I have had some dark thoughts I can tell you. I hope to see a neuropsychologist which I think is what I need. I got a book not longer after my hospital discharge by Maria Ross called Rebooting my Brain - how a freak aneurysm reshaped my life.

Just be there for you daughter and let her be. These moods I have are just like a depression and not to be taken heed of. It is not easy but in time it will get easier. I do believe that. I am mid 50's and am amazed at how young some folk are who feel like I do. It does seem awfully cruel but hey stuff happens for a reason which I do know.

So just batten down your hatches and be gentle and present and non judgemental in your situation. Talk to others, join a Headway group if you have one nearby. I live in the middle of nowhere in Scotland and so am a bit marooned from my group but once I get my licence back I will drive and join them - well that's the plan. Time is really dragging and it has been a longer Winter. If I try to keep busy or just out of the house it makes life a bit bearable. My husband is very good and will take me for a run out to save my already fragile sanity.

I hope that anything I have said has helped and I am sure you will hear from others to help. I fantasise that I will look back at this year and laugh at how down I was. From what I know, there is life after a brain injury...eventually!

[bonfire]

Hello

Mood swings are totally normal post brain injury but they can be managed once your daughter/you learn what triggers them and then work around/avoid/minimise the triggers (e.g. too much noise, too much going on in the environment, not taking sufficient rest breaks in the day i.e. sitting quietly and doing nothing or very little.)

Make an appointment with a neuropsychologist if that hasn't been suggested and go with your daughter. It is very early days. Your daughter will need alot of peace rest and quiet. Read up on brain injury and over stimulation / flooding. There is far more information out there compared to when I had my brain haemorrhage and surgery.

Good luck.

[clocker]

thank you all for your advice i know the problem is she will not rest we keep trying to get her to but she was stubborn before the bi never mind now.My mum also had suffered 21 yrs ago from exactly the same thing but mum always rested and still does at the age of 72 she has done so well.I hope today will be a good day for every one.