Hi everybody, Jules here.
Hope your day goes ok ish today.
I wanted to drop a line to Angel and sue regarding 'Wasted Days'.
I have a horrible feeling of frustration but mixed with guilt. I wish i could stop the guilt, it backfires and ends in anger.
Does anyone else get a feeling in their heart of guilt too ?
Kindest regards
Jules
x
Hi Jules, I don't think this is only a bi thing. I also have wasted days and then look at all the things I should have done and feel guilty that I haven't done them. I think to some extent it's human nature. it would be lovely to be one of these motivated people who are always on top of everything - but I can't seem to do it. I was going to do so much today but haven't done anything yet!
Don't beat yourself up about it, the jobs will still be there needing doing tomorrow (and the next day, and the next ......)
Jan
More so now. Emotions are still rare but I have very recently had bad guilt of ruining my mum life at that time and have felt guilty for a while now about the state my dad was in and still is in. That pulls me very very low. Guilt is a good thing to feel as it shows emotions are changing and feeling are more about someone else . I see it as a step forward in recovery. That just the way I see it and I do know how horrid this is for you xxx
I'm actually sitting now feeling guilty, yesterday I thought I should do the ironing and today I also thought I should, yet I've sat down again after deciding I can't be bothered doing it, it's my most hated task. I'll probably feel guilty again tomorrow cos I'll find another excuse not to do it!😳 I do feel I waste lots of days, I never used to be like this! Now I'm getting angry with myself...what's wrong with me that I can't motivate myself to do things?! Surely I'm not just becoming old overnight?!?
Ahh Peaches .... dont feel guilty, i remember some of your posts about you and your life and you dont deserve to ever feel that way.
I am sending you a massive roll of bubble rap
x
All wrapped up thankyou! Hope you're doing as best you can.
xx
Hi Jules I absolutely have the guilt and the anger I just want to kick myself up the backside. I just keep thinking just sitting here or sleeping through my days is another day my life I've wasted. So I'm totally with you on this xx
I was able to finally realize guilt was an exercise in futility. Why? Because at any given time I was doing the very best I could given all the things I was dealing with at that exact moment and if I could have done it any better I would have at that time. Saying that, is every moment and experience the way I would have liked it to be? No, but then life has always got something going on for me. So if nothing else make it ok to feel guilt and know it's just a feeling you're choosing to experience at that time. It will pass. I find as soon as I can shift my focus onto some other pleasant thing or experience the guilt simply can't be there at the same time. Anyway I wish you a better day today.
Hello there Sca
Thats a wonderful piece of advice.
Many thanks, i will recall it and use it.
Jules
x
Jules
Sorry for the late reply. I think you're right it is frustration that I can't bounce around like before. If I wanted to do more, I'd work faster, get up earlier, plan things to fit everything in. Now I know I can't do that and don't plan to do anywhere near as much, so get frustrated if I can't complete what I've set out to do. Lists are a bit catch 22, if I don't write it down, it might get forgotten, but if I do it needs doing. I even tell myself out loud when I know I'm doing too much.
All that said, after a rubbish few days, when one of our friends died, I got up yesterday morning and the weather was rubbish, so after about an hour, I got the dogs and went back to bed for the morning. Probably helped by my riding lesson being cancelled due to the weather, so no plans/lists to fail to complete.
Sorry for the ramble..
Sue xxx
Hi Sue - Jules here
What riding lessons are you taking - horse or motorbike ?
Jules
x
Horse and still riding the one I had my accident on and another. I do have a motorbike too, though haven't ridden it for ages. I haven't really got the energy for both, though I might have to dig deep if the sun keeps shining.
Have a lovely weekend
Sue x
