Taking care of my dad

[Rebeovi]

Hey everyone. This past month my family and I had been struguling with a rollercoaster situation. My dad is 79, diabetic, high blood preasure. They found a subdural hematoma in his brain. They operated on him. After that less than a week later they found out he had ot again. They said they will not do surfery again as it will form again and again. They also discover that he suffered a cerebral infarction. He can bearlt move or talk. He ia out and in of the hospital. Somedays i think we will not make it and the next he seems way better. The doctors told is already that he will not get better that it will only get worse. Anyone had any experience like this that can share some wisdom, please?? I really need it

[Hidden]

Sorry, I have no experience of this so can't help but would advise you to phone Headway and talk it through with them. They have the knowledge to help you.

Very best wishes to you and your family, hope things work out for you all.

Jan

[Rebeovi in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much. All kind words help so much

[cat3]

We had a similar situation with my ex-husband after a brain haemorrhage. My son and daughter had visited me every evening when I'd had the same 6 months earlier, so here they were again visiting the same hospital every day after work to visit their dad.

Their dad (Geoff) was discharged to a nursing home after his wife (by power of attorney) denied him the right for transfer to the wonderful Walton hospital in Liverpool for intensive rehab, so he stayed in the nursing home for 2 years until he died after contracting pneumonia.

My two adult children continued to visit him and, although he couldn't speak, move or eat, his face would light up whenever they walked into his room. I saw him when permitted and it was heart-breaking to see the once fit, full of life, funny person we all loved so much, unable to move.

But when the realisation hits that your loved one will never recover, all you can do is ensure they are as comfortable and loved as possible. Geoff had gone into his own world where small reminders of things he loved, such as photos and objects with happy associations gave him great comfort and pleasure.

He had a small soft toy ; a replica of his own beloved dog, which was starting to wear thin from his constant grasping........sad, and a bit strange for us to see, but made him smile.

I lost my lovely brother at the same time, also prematurely. I'd previously commented to him that life was cruel............. just sh*t. He bravely said 'It is what it is, and we just have to deal with it'.

I've rambled on. But it's just my illustration of how you can only do what's possible to ensure your dad's comfort and care, and show him how loved he is with words and physical contact.

I do know what you're going through my friend and I'm so sorry for that. If it's time to let go don't torment yourself with regrets ; you need to accept and grieve...........and talk it out. Come here whether you're feeling overwhelmed or just want a little reassurance.

I hope your dad will get all the care he needs to keep him safe and comfortable. With love, Cat x

[Rebeovi in reply to cat3]

Thanks so much for your words. I appreciate you sharing your story. I try everyday to show him how nich I love him. And of it is his time to go I will accept it as well

[cat3 in reply to Rebeovi]

xx

[Elenor3]

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. It must have been a roller coaster, thinking he would be better after the operation and then finding he was back to square one so soon. You just get over dealing with the one thing and then youre facing another major thing so soon.

Do contact Headway, and as the others have said, always come here anytime to talk. Life's unkind sometimes, all we can do is be there for each other. Being with your dad is all you can do at a time like this. No doubt he'll know how much your trying to help him, you seem very close to him. Sending you a big hug

[Rebeovi in reply to Elenor3]

Thanks for your advice and support