Hi, this is a continuation and update since my last post about what I feel was an undiagnosed head injury that occurred in June of this year.
Long story short, I had a car crash. Immediately afterwards, I had no severe bruising or broken limbs, no blacking out, and no retrograde or anterograde amnesia as far as I was concerned. I remembered everything that happened, including what I was wearing at the time.
Got sent to hospital 4 hours later, diagnosed with whiplash (which went away within a week) and administered painkillers and told to go home and rest the same evening. My prognosis was a full recovery i.e. that I'd be back to normal in a few days.
I got progressively worse about 7 hours after that, with lapses in memory, severe anxiety, slurred speech and apparent personality changes. I thought it was just emotional shock, and didn't want to make a fuss and go back to the hospital, so I actually didn't go back to get checked out again.
I was forced to go back to college and study; I wasn't allowed to rest my brain until three days after the trauma.
Several weeks past and in those weeks I felt increasingly detached from myself, as if I was a ghost of myself just going through the motions; functioning at a lower level of conscious awareness; not fully experiencing life with the same kind of profound intellectual insight and deep reflection that came so naturally to me before my accident. I became emotionally flat and detached and experienced severe anhedonia; I could not enjoy the things that I most enjoyed in life- music, art, and film.
Went to several doctors who told me all of it was just emotional shock and that I might have had a mild concussion, but that it was a temporary injury that would clear in around 3 weeks or so. I phoned Headway, who told me the same thing.
But I remain utterly convinced that perhaps I had a more serious TBI, maybe even a brain haemorrhage, and that the damage is far more serious than I first thought. Did I have a concussion, or a more serious and undiagnosed brain injury? I still don't know the answer to that question.
It'a been nearly 5 months since my injury, and I've lost all hope. I remain emotionally flat; I don't enjoy the things I used to love passionately. I experience musical anhedonia; music doesn't move me in the way it used to, which is absolutely devastating as I was a musician and music was my greatest passion and natural talent. I have no enthusiasm for anything at all anymore, which is a stark contrast to the passionate and emotionally sensitive person I used to be before my car accident.
I really am at a loss as to what to do. Doctors and medical professionals alike simply do not know what is wrong with me. I feel like the shell of who I once was. I'm a young person, and I already believe I have ruined my life.
Does anyone know what could be wrong with me? Do you think that medical professionals could misdiagnose a more severe head injury? Or is this a psychological problem? Will I ever enjoy music again?