Hiding head injury

[Blackbird98]

Four and a half years ago I had a concussion and I am still experiencing periods in which I have balance and coordination problems, fatigue, can't concentrate and am easily feeling overwhelmed. Since then I have picked up freelance work again, working outdoors and in educational contexts part-time.

Perhaps unconsciously, I have always avoided sharing the fact that I have a head injury and that that affects my ability to walk more than a few miles a day, stand still for longer periods or work consecutive days. I think it is about a fear about being 'written off' which would affect my ability to find work and my ability to establish new friendships (I often feel isolated). In part, this has also to do with the fact I don't want any intrusive questions that would force me to share personal information (the concussion was caused by my son who has special needs and was often, and still is, very aggressive and impulsive). Since the concussion I have gradually managed to build my life back up around what I can do, but a recent mental health episode of my son has caused a major setback with my head injury symptoms returning full force and opening up a lot of emotional wounds.

Gradually, I am wondering whether my focus on staying strong (to parent my son) has actually meant that I have never sufficiently processed what happened and how it has affected me in all aspects of life. Has anybody else experienced this?

[cat3]

hi Blackbird..

I was referred to a CBT therapist when struggling with clinical depression and panic attacks.

I made it clear at the outset that I'd no faith in the process, but that I would attend the weekly sessions for the year, as prescribed, to show willingness to co-operate.

When the 12 months was up it was really hard saying farewell to that safe haven. I'd been proved 100% wrong about the healing power of disclosure and the enlightenment it brings.

Why not start here m'love. This is a safe, none-judgemental forum where anything you want to offload is treated with respect and total discretion. A great place to experiment with sharing issues freely ....with no negative consequences.....

Maybe start with some back-story about your injury and any follow up treatment, or other support ?

Cat. x

[skydivesurvivor]

Hi, suffered a TBI in 2000 which put me into an induced coma for a month. Your symptoms sound very similar to mine. Go see your doctor for a brain scan which would confirm any brain injury. All I can offer is the road ahead is dire!! Hard to accept y different but at least y get the chanc to build a better you?! A choice to keep y better characters, bin the bad?! This site was a godsend for me. Strangers that share the same symptoms. Advice support. A place to vent y frustrations & find advice from people who have been there?!! Y not alone! I find it helps to SMILE to spite the I jury

[Teazymaid]

Hi blackbird I personally haven’t experienced what must be a very difficult and upsetting times you have with your son . Head injuries from any event is very difficult to deal with and emotionally can be though the roof .. I have worked in the past as a mental health support worker and also had personally counselling … though my personal experiences and work I can only recommend getting counselling .. it very much changed my life pre TBI and clients I worked with .. people so often say they don’t work as they can’t change the past which is true but they can help you deal with anything in a more constructive way and learn methods of diversity in your thought patterns .. .. also along with actual talking to someone about how you feel And practice with the advice you received will very much help you and what you are dealing with .. sue x

[Life-Goes-On-2021]

I can relate to all this - my brain injury process was different but the results very similar and ongoing. I have felt the key is acceptance - very hard to come by though as the person you were keeps trying to get the upper hand. Isolation and imposter syndrome have dogged me too and still do. I am/was a sports physio and my practice has changed massively to compensate. I hesitate to tell people unless they directly ask for fear of their biases!

Please keep strong. It’s a long road, but not all bad and hugely illuminating on a personal level if you have the time and space at all to reflect. It sounds like your caring role must be consuming and it is easy to neglect yourself as a result. Also just being a Parent come with added guilt for anything ‘self’!

I feel therapy (although I’ve not gone down this path, we can’t all ‘do it ourselves’) would be a great facilitator in coming to terms and understanding stuff if you struggle to find that catharsis elsewhere. Mine thought was through writing, together with help from immediate family which has been immeasurable. I am 5 years post incident and often feel very low still so still consider whether outside help would be appropriate. My daughter is a psychotherapist and keeps trying to push me towards Art or/and Drama therapy. Unfortunately, they are expensive options as not necessarily available on the nhs in this context!

We are all different. Knowing the medical facts helped me too, but that again is probably due to my personal orientation in the world and logical physio thinking. Often it is just confusion and there are too many unknowns to be enlightening!

Much luck & best wishes with your journey- it’s not all bad, but it does require adjustments along the way.

X

[lcd8]

Hi Blackbird. I have a congenital brain injury that I was born with and showed itself when I was 14. As its almost entirely neurological I sometimes feel a bit of a fraud if I tell people about it. The only 'evidence' is my awkwardness in gait and occasional balance problems - although I can tell it affects me in other ways at times too. I therefore completely understand your past reluctance to share your own experiences. Even people that know (eg family) don't really talk about my condition. But I think maybe this is just part of the human condition - that for some if you don't talk about things they can't be real. Personally I have found forums like this one an absolute gift as it gives me a chance to speak about it openly and honestly. Talking about your issues really does help in all sorts of ways, especially to those who can empathise and know where you 're coming from. Please do make use of us whenever you feel able to.

Lulu x

[Blackbird98]

Just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who replied. Each and every one reply resonates with me, with plenty of good advice. A social worker (who got involved with our family because of my son) suggested I joined the forum and I've been able to speak to her a little. The last few weeks I have also started to write things down which has been really helpful in becoming aware of my thought patterns - and challenging them. It was extremely hard to write this post, but it also feels like a relief. Thanks! x

[Surgical_Injury96]

I'm scared too. It's been over 2 years for me and I still get exhaustion, migraines, anxiety. It's terrible but I remind myself that this was always a human occurrence even before anyone knew what was going on.