hi all: hope this fins you all as well as can be... - Headway

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hi all

irishrose48 profile image
26 Replies

hope this fins you all as well as can be.

well just to let you know not a lot has changed here we still waiting to hear from PIP we now have problems with waterloo housing who have decided they want there house back,we still living on £100 a week ,our mp has done sweet nothing so we are now in turmoil scott is slow at recovery but has a hospital appointment on the 21st of sep with rehab am also looking to rehome our dogs.all in all we still here and still fighting x much love to you all x

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irishrose48 profile image
irishrose48
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26 Replies
cat3 profile image
cat3

My heart goes out to you Rose. It's appalling that you've been treated so inhumanly at a time when you're both at your lowest. It seems you've exhausted all possibilities of help and, still, no PIP.

What a frightening society ours has become when people are losing the roof from over their heads through illness. I hope it won't come to that and that your payments will come to your rescue in time.

I've nothing but admiration for the way you've held things together and I pray things will take a turn for the better very soon.........................only wish I had more to offer than words ! Love Cat x

irishrose48 profile image
irishrose48 in reply to cat3

Hi cat it is what it is am here still fighting, I must say I feel like am being forced to go back to full time work and no choice than to leave my husband to fend for himself either that 9r they get people in to look after him ? Matt warm an our so called mp is useless PIP have said hubby needs a assessment still waiting for mri scan and he has rehab on the 21st spending my time walking to food banks is awful as they know it's a 5 mile walk for me leaving my hubby on his own OT came out saying they will get stuff for scott that decided to ring when my son came down and took us for meal , so was left message saying we seem to be managing so discharged us lol what a joke as you can see am at my lowest ever still want to walk away .my family lol that's another joke ,so all in all there is just me and scott ,but I am still here and still fighting xx

cat3 profile image
cat3 in reply to irishrose48

These people might as well be from another planet for all they understand. It's so convenient for them, isn't it, to make the assumption that all's ok just because you went out of the house for a while !

How the hell they ever made the grade to work in the 'Caring' profession is beyond me. (must be pretty low standards).

Thank goodness Scott has you for support throughout this difficult challenge in both your lives, otherwise it doesn't bear thinking about Rose ! xx

Oh, that's so awful. How do you feel about publicity? You could always contact either a local or a daily newspaper, local tv station etc and tell them what is happening. Looking after Scott is hard enough without all these worries too. There are organisations that will temporarily home your dogs for you until you are able to get them back if that would be easier for you. Have you got the local Mental Health Team involved?

Life in your present home sounds very difficult as you don't drive and there is no public transport, losing your house will be awful but maybe you could be housed somewhere a lot easier for you.

It's not much help to you I know, but we are thinking of you and hoping for better things.

Jan

irishrose48 profile image
irishrose48 in reply to

Hi we will not be re housed as they will say by not paying any rent at all I have made myself intensionilly homless I have not yet been to the mental health team as it's hard to get anywere the doctors is 3 miles away but like I said am here and am still fighting. Housing benfit take up to 22 weeks to complete and pip have told me it could be another 16 weeks before we hear anything I think it is designed so you get feed up and don't bother to claim forcing people to return to work when clearly they shouldnt be but alas people in offices don't give a shite they got a nice life so sod anyone else

steve55 profile image
steve55 in reply to irishrose48

so the doctors is 3mile away and if thats what it takes to keep your house or get re housed, then you should be getting up off your ass and going for it and making a dman nuisance of yourself instead of whinging and waiting for someone to do for you.

this is how my abi effects me

irishrose48 profile image
irishrose48 in reply to steve55

No steve no one is doing it for me am still fighting and how dare you say get off my ass that's so rude of you get off my ass what the he'll do you think am been doing ? Bare in mind he carnt drive at mo carnt use public transport and carnt be left a lone so am limited I really carnt belive you have just said that . You so don't have any understanding in you

cat3 profile image
cat3 in reply to steve55

Please don't insult people Steve and make the excuse it's the effects of your bi. We make a choice to come here and respond to others ; a choice which should be motivated by kindness and concern.

So if you think your bi might cause you to use insulting remarks, maybe best not to reply at all.

Please try to understand the difficulties of others before judging them. We all have different issues and circumstances so what might be possible for you might be too difficult, for whatever reason, for another.

An apology is due to Rose I believe.

irishrose48 profile image
irishrose48 in reply to cat3

Thanks for that cat I think steve has not read some of my posts as he would know I couldn't expect my husband to walk three miles ? Really ! Am so shocked that has come out of somone mouth and to suggest I want people to do it for me .I have never asked anyone to do anything for me , well you live and learn x

cat3 profile image
cat3 in reply to irishrose48

Believe me Rose I understand how demoralising bullying comments can be, and nothing can excuse them.

I know it's impossible to 'un-remember' them m'dear but please try to focus on the good wishes and love of others here. ;-)

All best wishes, Cat xx

irishrose48 profile image
irishrose48 in reply to cat3

Don't worry cat I will just was shocked to hear that come from somone that has had a brain injury x thanks for all you comments x

steve55 profile image
steve55 in reply to cat3

cat my point was a three mile walk to stir up the mental health team and get them to help you with somewhere to live is a small price to pay for a 6mile round trip and no i dont expect roses husband to walk 6miles.

as for me yes my bi as i read more and more does change my perception of subjects / topics

irishrose48 profile image
irishrose48 in reply to steve55

So steve you don't expect my husband to go with me ? Maybe I should put him in a locked room and leave him? The point is steve scott can not be left on his own and to tell somone to get off there ass do you think that is all I have been doing? Your comments are rude and bulling and you shouldn't comment till you have walked in my shoes

Try phoning the Mental Health Team and asking for emergency help. I did and they were so good, I had more help from them than anyone else and even though we have now been signed off, I requested an assessment for Mike and they rushed it through for me. Let them know how close you are to a breakdown and that if you cannot cope it will cost them a fortune looking after him!

Jan

irishrose48 profile image
irishrose48 in reply to

I wouldn't know we're to start

Your local Mental Health team should work from the hospital - ours is from our little local hospital. You should find them in the phone book. Make sure they realise how desperate you are, after all this is about YOUR mental health as well as Scott's. You need help, and you need it now. Have you contacted Social Services? Have you had a Carer's Assessment? Get in touch with everyone you can think of, someone must be able to help.

Good luck, thinking of you.

Jan

steve55 profile image
steve55 in reply to

exhaustedwife i gave rose this info ages ago but it appears she still hasnt done anything with it. i think shes had a ss assessment

irishrose48 profile image
irishrose48 in reply to steve55

Ok let's put it right .I have had wellbeing team support worker and OT as well as do tors hospitals and housing officer also carers assisment , along with dwp and housing benfit .contacting our mp matt warman who is less than useless, I am now under the doctor myself for mental health problems but like I said am still here and fighting

steve55 profile image
steve55

hey rose good to hear from you. when i asked the doc how long recovery would be, he shrugged his shoulders and said " how longs a piece of string " !!!

have you explained the circumstances to the housing association and provided medical evidence?

swedishblue11 profile image
swedishblue11

Hello Rose, firstly I don't think Steve meant to come across so bluntly. He simply stated on the way HE would deal with this threatening situation. Having a tbi myself, at least I hope that's what he meant! I am very sorry to hear about your situation. My first port of call would be to contact the CAB (citizen's advice) to find out your rights! You can call them and ask them for details on which solicitor most appropriate to deal with your case, if it needs to go that far, and if you qualify for free legal aid. I'm not sure how this works, but I think it is available in certain situations. I would also speak to a Manager at your Housing Association to tell them of your current situation. They must have a duty to re-house you! They can't simply ask for your house back!!! This situation is causing massive stress on Scott's recovery. You keep calm and strong Rose. I am a dog lover, and I'm sure you will find help with a charity to help foster your dogs (temporarily), while you deal with this. Good Luck!! x

irishrose48 profile image
irishrose48 in reply to swedishblue11

Thank I do stay strong x I have been all over its just a waiting game with pip and housing benfit they just take so long I have been doctors and cab sorted out bills we have had OT come in and wellbeing team there 8s not much else I can do bar from put a rocket up there back sides but such is life x

swedishblue11 profile image
swedishblue11 in reply to irishrose48

You're doing splendid, well done! It's very hard not to have a melt down with all you're facing. But know this....even though the world seems cold and not to care, there are many many more people who do. Never lose hope!! Keep talking calmly, honestly, persuasively to everybody who can help this goddam bloody awful situation. x

swedishblue11 profile image
swedishblue11 in reply to swedishblue11

woops...sorry to swear, but that's a tbi for you ;-) x

Elenor3 profile image
Elenor3

Hi Rose,

I'm so sorry......I thought things had gone quiet and that maybe it meant you'd had the appropriate help you require, but no......and that's just shocking. My heart sank when I read your post there now. Have you looked up any 'carer's' organisations in your area. If you're not able to make it to your nearest library to access the Internet, message me the area you live in and I'll do it for you and message you back. I'm surprised that your M.P. hasn't taken on your case - but we all know that M.P.s aren't all as good as each other. Carer's organisations often know the 'right people' or routes to access help. They will be acting for you and not for Scott, so will have your best interests at the forefront of anything they tell you. Lastly, you might consider calling the bluff of the health services and telling them you are no longer fit to look after Scott, and ask them what they intend to do. I also agree with calling the local press.......they do have a way of attracting the attention of MP.s. Failing that you could contact your M.P. And ask him if he thinks going to the press might help......that might have the desired effect. x

irishrose48 profile image
irishrose48 in reply to Elenor3

Hi elanor I think the mos help them self's I have a carer's lady coming to see me , as for mp am hoping he is going to reply to the 2nd email I have sent him I have done everything I can now it's just a waiting game you know these dwp they don't rush for no one but like said am still here fighting for another day x

Sem2011 profile image
Sem2011 in reply to irishrose48

Hi Rose

I have come on the back of this thread and think I replied to you previously.

I volunteered at CAB housing advice, and I would suggest if you ave not already contact and ask for housing advisor. In East Sussex we are funded through the legal aid or the consent. If you have received a section 21 notice to vacate the property in two months' time , YOU DO NOT HAVE TO VACATE AT THAT POINT OF TIME. I can explain the rest you would like to message me, but you must urgently contact CAB, or shelter give free legal housing over the phone. A housing advisor/solicitor needs to liaise with council and potential court hearing to try and haunt proceedings. I am afraid I hear this all too often,people are served notice because housing benefit is behind. Have you contacted adult social care, this is for Scott's care needs, OTand support for you so at least you can leave the house knowing somebody is looking after Scott and he is safe.

Please contact me if I can help you any further

Xxx

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