Eerrrmmm

Ok this is a gooden kinda . My daughter said to me WEEKS ago joking on,,, how do you know your not still in a coma and just dreaming everything ? Ermmmmm everyday since then, literally every day Iv wondered about this. I say something now cause it's really effecting me. She keeps saying sorry she was only joking but I just can't stop thinking about it. WHAT IF. I can't pinch myself, she tried that but that's what they do to you in a coma to see if you respond. Gosh any ideas on stopping my brain from trying to work through this argh. My daughter said not to put this on here cause it may make u all just as bad. I mean now how do I know this is real and this sight not just in my dream

30 Replies

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  • If you are in a coma, then we must all be in one too or we wouldn't be able to read this.......

  • Yeah but I could just be dreaming this. You all may not be real and don't have a bi. Omg I need to snap out of this it's eating me up xx

  • I think that is probably the key to this Candy. You need help accepting that you really have a bi.

    Have you got or can you get copies of medical reports? They will show you how long you were in a coma for.

    Even if you still think you are dreaming you must be lucid dreaming and because of that you can decide to waken up.

    Love n hugs

    Xoxo

  • Ohhh can I. I never thought of that. But if I manage to wake up all this will be real. Medical reports say I was in a coma nearly 2 months but what if I dremp that. My head mashed. How do I wake up xx

  • Candy all you have to do is say wake up now and you will be awake instantly.

    Then you have to deal with the reality.

    It's your 6 year anniversary soon and that is probably a big factor in how you are feeling.

    I know it sounds daft but it really helps some people move on and draw a line through the past to physically do something like tie a list to a helium balloon and let it go or a message in a bottle type of thing or a Chinese lantern.

    Or a line from that____film

    let it go!

    Hope it passes soon.

    Love n hugs

    Xoxo

  • It doesn't sound daft. I have a teddy in my car ( I like teddies) from the bear workshop. All my thoughts are inside then it's sown shut . She's in my car so I know the feelings are there but they not in my head. Maybe I need to do the same again or like you say let a balloon go. Gosh that may work . I may try that or build another teddy. Build a bear,,, that's what it's called. I think with my recent cancer scare that I'm waiting to hear about, my dad going in for a heart op on Tuesday and my daughter leaving home on Friday Iv got it all going on ain't I. The anniversary should be least of my worries. Maybe letting a balloon go is the answer X thanks Hun xx

  • Will send a pm in a bit Hun.

    Just need a little rest and gather my thoughts.

    Love n hugs

    Xoxo

  • Have you read Coma by Alex Garland?

    I know it's not universally liked among BI peeps, but when I was reading it I thought it captured the sense of confusion I felt when I first woke up really well. The end was disappointing and not even slightly realistic (at least in my experience) but elements of my doubting reality just after I came round were definitely there.

    I remember I was out with my family one day a few months afterwards and we bumped into another family we knew...I was watching my dad talking to their dad and just thinking "Is this real? What if people are just playing these roles to to conform to what I think is real??"

    It's weird, and I possibly haven't articulated myself very well, but I definitely feel like I know what you're talking about. I'm definitely sitting in my living room at this point in time though, not in your head ;-) x

  • Hi Candy

    Doesnt your name 'Hi Candy' sound like 'eye candy' when you say without thinking !

    Anyway. back to your text about 'am i really here or still in a coma ?'

    I think this what was i trying to ask when i asked if anyone could remember the name of the 'horror film' about the man who thought he was some sort of Government Investigator trying to rescue someone, or investigating a place of psychiatric treatment on this island with a lighthouse - ended up the people helping him investigate there were not at all, they were his consultand and restraining nurses/doctors. That was the twist. I wouldnt have watched it had i known the twist, because its what i fear is happening to me, and like you Candy, i think about the possibilit everyday i am looking at someone talking at me. I often ask my poor now demented husband if hes really my Carer and not my husband and i am just not in reality yet.

    I wasnt in a coma, but i have had the sensation of this since i was unconscious.

    Does anyone know the name of the film yet - i would like to sit and watch it, with my husband this time.

    Candy, I dont either know is the answer. But if its true we cant get out of it anyway, so i dont think it makes any difference. But i am going to Google it anyway, Google knows everything, Everytime I put a question in the search box it has some sort of answer.

    Regards

    Jules

    x

  • I think you mean shutter island Jules

    Love n hugs

    Xoxo

  • Oh let me know what Google says xx

  • Lol you have the ability to make me smile or giggle every time. That makes me think your unreal cause you so funny. Don't stop being funny cause that will make me feel like I am defo dreaming. Keep making me giggle cause if I am dreaming it's nice cause the rest of the dream is nasty xx

  • Jules your also a Geordie so maybe that's right lol. Xx

  • I think it's aye though xx

  • Hi Candy, Jules here...

    Not a Geordie, but i suppose i am now an 'adopted Geordie'.

    Thats the other thing about making a picture in your mind of the person you are chatting to on a forum - you cant hear the accent can you.

    Accents do give out a lot of infomnow i think about it.

    I lived all over the place in my younger years and seemes to have picked up a little bit from everywhere.

    I am a right Li quiche-Allsort package arent I !

    Jules

    x

  • Lol. I'm from Essex originally, then Leeds now Newcastle for last 23 years so it's no wonder I'm mixed up ha ha 😂 we a right pair xx

  • I was born in Colchester, Essex

    x

  • Hey we getting more alike as we go on lol. I was born in Chelmsford xx

  • The thing is I'm 6 years on this month. Maybe that's what setting me off on one xx

  • I feel like that sometimes and it was for a long time....I had a SAH last March 2015. I still just stop what I'm doing and think , that happened to me? Am I really here? So this realisation has made me appreciate life a lot more. It's so difficult also to try and block out what your mind is thinking. But that is just what a brain does and you just have to come to terms with it and it will take time. Once you realise this it will be back to normal. Hope this helps xxx

  • Yes thanks it does help but it won't change things for me, but thank you xx

  • Hi Candy

    Oh I feel for you! The way our brains latch on to things and even the most well intentioned comment can lodge itself and distract us from making the most of now.

    I'm really not sure about this but I would think the simplest way of knowing would be to test whether your actions have consequences.

    Do you have any memories of being in a coma? Some people do and say it was like a dream.

    Talk to your family and set a test. Eg smash a mug. No one is allowed to clean it up for you.

    If the pieces are still there at evening meal time I think it's fair to say you are definitely not in a coma. Take great pleasure in cleaning up the mess ................

    Love n hugs

    Xoxo

  • Yeah but how do I know I didn't smash it in my dream and I dad to cleaned it up in my dream ? I don't know if there is anyway of knowing xx

  • Yes that's the thing , I do, remember things when I was in a coma. Iv said things in the past that has shocked people. I could only know that from being in my coma and I think it's that that is making this thing so hard for me xx

  • Good question ! Philosophers have pondered this for centuries - is this our true reality or some kind of parallel universe/dreamworld etc. Best fantasy book I ever read was Stephen King/Peter Straub's collaboration 'The Talisman' : )

    All I know is that I can run in dreams but when I wake up I can't do that in this reality ! If this was truly a dream, I would not have chosen this particular story line ! I could also afford to be far more outrageous without thinking of the consequences - as it is I had best play it safe and behave !

    I'm sat here on a very wet Saturday, listening to the torrential rain, typing to you in my world : ) If I go out I will get wet - the consequence of my action.You're as real as I am Candy, does that help ? x

  • Kinda, I'm just more and more confused . Iv got proper head mash. I just can't figure this out. It makes me want to cry but I still can't. I can make the noises but can't do tears now. All this cause of a silly joke said in passing. I just need to get over it , who on earth can explain why I feel this way. Xx

  • If I could produce tears I would know I'm awake now but they don't know if my tears will ever work again. Saves on waterproof make up though ☺️

  • Wow gosh have you got a brain connect thing. Everything you have put totally makes sense wow. I will keep reading that. Gosh massive thank you xx

  • Hi Candy, (love the eye Candy theory)

    Completely agree with what rainbow said above. Take a step back and enjoy your life and try really try and let the thought go about being in a coma. Have a peaceful Sunday. Xx Nick

  • Thanks Hun. I know what was put above is fantastic isn't it. Xx