My blog

[Janluxton]

I'm trying so hard to find the time and the energy to write the next chapter of my blog. I've got so much to say and to report, I need to start writing things down as I think of it so I'm closer to getting it written. 

Please keep reading it and spreading the word and I will get the next chapter done soon. 

doesmybrainhateme.co.uk

[razyheath43]

Such good writing,clearly you are amazing 

[Janluxton in reply to razyheath43]

Thanks so much 

[razyheath43 in reply to Janluxton]

pleasure 

[moo196]

Have read a lot of this with a nodding head....so much resonance. Thank you for putting the words down...

Half wondering if it's ok to copy and share ...? To try to "show" friends it ISN'T just me that feels like this ...(see my post of ten or so days ago.....some of my closest friends/family even just dont get it )

[fuzzyhead in reply to moo196]

It's hard to make people see - I couldn't even see it myself for a lot of years: 11 when it happened, 23 when I started realising what was really going on in my head and why I felt so different and so distant from other people - even people who felt close to me.

My mom gets it (she was a nurse so she saw the effects first hand), my sister worked it out, and two of my brothers get it on varying levels but you could shout it in my other brother's ear til the cows come home and he still wouldn't get it. Same with my dad.

I'd say try to talk to them about the changes in your personality if there've been any, but the problem is people don't seem to even be prepared to talk about it, to even try to understand - and they don't realise how being that dismissive of something you're having a terrible time managing hurts even after all this time (24 and a bit years for me), and adds to the feeling of isolation. Well, I'll speak for myself anyway...

[aqua4 in reply to fuzzyhead]

Hi fuzzy, so true. K

[Janluxton in reply to fuzzyhead]

Thanks for reading Fuzzy!

I completely agree with you, there are people in my life who heard brain injury, didn't want to hear any more but still ran a mile. They then make up their own conclusions about me and have opinions when they know nothing! 

A couple of them have even read my blog- one said they really enjoyed it and one said that it was a gripping story!!! Like it wasn't real and I was making up a story- I don't know what is wrong with people. 

I had to get all this written down for me and for so many reasons- if it helps people along the way then that's a bonus. Thank you for taking the time to read it.

I know how it feels to be isolated but there are so many people in a similar situation to us, but day to day that isn't always helpful to us when we are surrounded by ignorance. Take care x

[fuzzyhead in reply to moo196]

I guess it's not about MAKING people see as much as it is HELPING people to see, but the only people who will be helped are the ones who are willing to accept the help in the first place.

[Janluxton in reply to moo196]

Thanks Moo! That's great to hear.

You share away, that's not a problem, if it helps for others to understand that it's not just you then you can show whoever you like.

I have people in my life who don't get it either and I'm sure some aren't interested in learning. 

Take care and thanks for reading xx

[Janluxton in reply to moo196]

Thanks Moo! That's great to hear.

You share away, that's not a problem, if it helps for others to understand that it's not just you then you can show whoever you like.

I have people in my life who don't get it either and I'm sure some aren't interested in learning. 

Take care and thanks for reading xx

[Janluxton in reply to moo196]

Thanks Moo! That's great to hear.

You share away, that's not a problem, if it helps for others to understand that it's not just you then you can show whoever you like.

I have people in my life who don't get it either and I'm sure some aren't interested in learning. 

Take care and thanks for reading xx

[aqua4]

Hi Jan, looking forward to it. As Moo says to be able to show

how it is means so much when you know what to say but can't put into words.

Thank you so much. K

[Janluxton in reply to aqua4]

Hi Aqua,

Thanks for reading. 

This took a long time to write but I had to be honest and tell it like it really is- there's no other way. 

You show as many people as you like- if it helps people to see that others are going through the same then that's great. 

Take care xx

[Tia-01]

I have started reading your chapters I am reading and relating to what you are saying.. My husband is the one with the Brain Injury and he too has same struggles as yourself with noise/finance/anger/frustration etc.  He cannot remember the accident, days before and months after his accident and special events in our life. He has lost a lot of friends through it but as I say they were not real friends anyway.. You say you died on the day of your accident I was told this when this happened to my husband and I would have a grieving period for the old him.  So much of what I am reading about your journey mirrors my husband. I admire you for putting your thoughts down in writing you are an inspiration. I will continue reading the rest of your chapters. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I hope one day my husband will start accepting how he has changed but its 8 years now and he just cant or I should say it is more that it hurts him to accept it. xx

[gj124]

Thank you so much. You made me realise I am not on my own as I too am V curious to find out what actually happened to me. I had a SAH in 2012 which has left me in a wheelchair with left hand paralysis, some memory problems but fortunately I can eat, talk, organise my thoughts have a very normal life! I read alot about brain injury because I find it helps alot. Shall be reading more......

[moo196]

Morning - well, I've shared on my FB page though the people I most want to read it ( the "friends" who have booked a holiday excluding me and who keep telling me I was wrong to flip when they sat me down to tell me about it and that I need to consider their feelings and act more responsibly and respectfully probably won't read it / probably tell me off for posting ..... I would just like some people to understand that IT ISNT JUST ME !! 

Next stop trying to talk to my youngest with whom I had big falling out too ....... 

Wish these people would try to understand that that I'm not wanting to be like this .... that if it was a matter o fhaving control ..... of it being just pain/tiredness/worry I could cope with ....

Ugh - better get on with the day - such as it is and brace myself for more criticism ! 

Thank you for writing the words to share anyway x 

[Elenor3]

Thank you for sharing your blog with us, I'm at about chapter four and already find so many things that I can identify with. It's incredibly helpful to find that you're not alone and that someone else knows what you're going through. Also, if it makes sense, that a lot of the things that are happening to you must be in a very weird sense 'normal', because somebody else has experienced them too. I'm so grateful that you've taken the time to to this......so grateful.