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pure chance

Me - RTA over a decade ago, TBI, coma, long time in hospital, then 3 times longer in specialist neuro rehab, transfer to supported bungalow where I still reside alone. Walk with a stick, use a mobility scooter, can't drive a car, short term memory has holes, not employed, ESA, DLA, etc.

I'd been scanning the headway website and followed a link that led here. I was sure there were no brain injury forums/chat sites here in UK and now, one comes along together. (Milligan head nod)

Can't remember what I was originally searching for. - Oh, that's it - On the youreable.com forums someone mentioned that Headway is launching a scheme for Identity Cards which can be used to alert police and others about the condition of the person carrying the card. North Derbyshire maybe ? Anyone know anything about this ?

Q - Why do I sometimes feel guilty for receiving ESA ? Could I actually be one of those shirkers, skivers or scroungers ? Or is it due to the UK Govs messages of love they and their media chums spread constantly to us disabled types that brings on a pang of guilt ?

12 Replies

Hi Guilty and welcome, this site has been in existence for ages and if you contact Headway on their helpline they'll provide you with said card.

It's a disgrace that nobody tells you about Headway, I found out through a friend of my niece and when I mentioned it to my Consultant he said yes they're great aren't they!! Well how come I wasn't told about them when I was in hospital!!!

I've found this forum so helpful over the 4 years I've had my ABI, it's a lifesaver. Hope you come back, dip in and out as you feel. Everyone understands what you are going through and we don't judge. Frustration is inevitable, h

That we do understand.

And the ESA thing, I totally get where you are coming from, I'm drawing my pension now, don't feel guilty about that, but did with the ESA, yet

I'd paid my taxes all my working life. Even now I'm sure I'm entitled to PIP but I don't know if I could face those forms and having to justify it all. So sad that we are made to feel like that, when even a consultants report isn't taken at face value. Oh well, the times we live in!

Welcome again, hang on in there

Love Janet x


Hi Guilty


Ring Headway and ask for a card.. It has been really helpful a few times for me when I've lost the plot in shops.

As for the feeling guilty thing yep been there and still do it at times especially when I feel good and think I can do anything. This is always followed by a few days of incapacity.

I'm sure you've heard it lots of times before but it's the brain it's not like a broken bone. It's a bit more like trying to make a well beaten egg back into a whole egg ina shell.

As the nursery rhyme days all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put Humpty together again.

We are here for you.

Lots of love n hugs


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New to the site, what is ESA please?


A benefit - Employment and Support Allowance.


Thanks for the replys. I signed on to this site today and didn't like the username chosen yesterday so changed to an old river merchant vessel from bygone trading days on Norfolk broads. Also a ruddy good song by stone angel.

I have known Headway since my days in hospital but I never think to ask them any relevant questions. I know they can be phoned although, wasn't aware of the freephone number. Just my nearest Headway 10 miles from me hence, not knowing of this ID card thing. (reading back that last sentence doesn't make any sense to me. Gobbledygook) Although I've seemed to manage without a card this long. Saying that - a credit card sized NHS card I do have with my GP details etc. that's kept in m' wallet.

As for the so-called benefits system - that I do live in constant fear and worry of. I doubt they'll give me PIP coz i be on the lowest levels of DLA. It's all a scam to push us onto the merry-go-round mandatory reconsideration-appeals circuit. A never ending mobius strip of private companies and civil service paper shufflers with the power of life and death.

To my left is a window. The sun is out. Stone Angel is now playing. Strange to hear psych folk tunes through my computer. Nice.


blacksailedtraders ................can't help wondering where that name came from ?

Anyway, it's good you've found us m'dear ; this is a brilliant forum !

You've had it really rough so please don't ever feel guilty about receiving government help. I know it's politically (and morally) incorrect to say so, but I wish that David Cameron or one of his cronies could experience first-hand how brain injury devastates people's lives, often without leaving a visible trace.

Maybe then they'd get the message that those with brain injury are actually heroic folk, fighting daily battles against a range of serious health issues and who would like nothing more than a normal, working life with all it's financial and social benefits.

Phone Headway for a card. It's 0808 800 2244 (office hours & free call).

See you around I hope, Cat xx

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hey guilty the headway cards........useless you present them and people say whats this and you feel a complete idiot, the last thing you need when your confidence is shot any way.

esa pip housing benefit council tax benefit , you go for it , you didnt ask to be in the position your in now.

once we re out out of the eu therell be more money to spend on physical and mental health issues and you wont have to question whether you should feel guilty



Hi Blacksailedtraders,

Fantastic name and welcome. Completely related to your storey as I didn't know about headway or this forum when version 2 of me was let out of hospital last May. I really wish my consultant had warned me of what was to come or at least given me the heads up of what to expect. No.

Found it all out by myself and then I found this forum and what a God send it was for my as iv learnt more here than anywhere regarding Bis. Iv got the card and fortunately haven't got it out as yet but there will always be a first time.

You have found the perfect place to share your problem,s and angers regarding brain injury, so mane like minded people here.

Have a great Sunday. Nick



I sound similar - I fell off my bike in France, got a Lear Jet home (thank you, Churchill Travel Insurance!), was in a coma for weeks, a rehab hospital for 8 months, and had 18 months off work, sick. I knew my husband, and our toddler, but I didn't know the cute little baby they kept bringing into hospital with them. I still have 18 months or so of memory missing (moving house, second pregnancy, tiny little baby, holiday in France...), but my day-to-day memory is fine, now.

I am officially 'blind', but in fact I am OK for most things, although I certainly can't drive.

I ran (well, got round) the London Marathon, twice, for Headway.

Anyway, hello, BST. (Sorry, your name is too long to remember!)

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Hi flumptious, I also have a month(s) of memory missing from just before my car crash. The neuro docs called it post-traumatic-amnesia. I'm glad your day to day memory works, especially as you have a young family.


Welcome to us lot! and do ring headway.


I spoke to Headway today and they're sending one of the brain injury wallet cards and a leaflet about PIP.

My nearest Headway place is having a benefits bod from DWP over to talk about what benefits BI people are entitled to. I may attend and accidentally throw eggs at him.


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