KNSJ44

[KNSJ44]

My husband is in a coma following a car V bicycle collision. I am feeling helpless, angry, tired, vulnerable, anxious and everything in between and don't know where to turn for help to deal with my emotions and loss of my husband on a daily basis .

[razyheath43]

Bless you,first off i will say,try to stay postative,as hard as that sometimes is,talk to youre husband,tell him anything! and contact the headway helpline to be put in touch with support in youre area,they are amazing and we would have gone quite quite mad without them! take care of yourself too,try to eat and take a little time each day that is for you. i do hope youre husband pulls through.xxx

[Hidden]

Hi, you are not alone, we are all here to support you through this difficult time. You are going to be exhausted and have a huge mix of feelings. If you are looking around the internet look for Carers Trust and your nearest Carers organisation, they can help support you through this. I know while my husband was in hospital after a sub arachnoid haemorrhage I was on my own as family were miles away and the nights were horrible, I cried every night having kept up a smiling positive face and voice all day for my husband, despite him not knowing who I was.

You can shout and scream here, ask as many questions as you need you and we will all be there with you. Hang on in there, scream when you need to, we are all thinking of you. Hugs xx

[RogerCMerriman]

Do you have friends/sibling you can call on?

One of the best things my wife did when she got the call from the ambulance, was to ring her sister to look after her.

My accident in many ways was far traumatic for my wife she saw me cabled up with claret everywhere etc.

In other words don't forget to look after your self.

This is scary early days but they will pass.

[KNSJ44 in reply to RogerCMerriman]

Hi. We live hours away from my small family and he has only his son who's also hours away in the services. So we lived in each other's pockets as it's just the 2 of us. I'm now 3 weeks on & feel lonely with so many dark thoughts about us / me/ him and can't see any light. I see others improving & he's where he's been for a week with no improvement. Just devastated.

[RogerCMerriman in reply to KNSJ44]

3 weeks is still very early days, I wasn't in a coma and for various reason have had very good and quick recovery but we are still talking months and years rather than days/weeks.

people can and do make very good recoveries.

[randomphantoms]

Hello there and please don't worry everything you are feeling is perfectly normal.

As has been said the Headway helpline and carers trust should be your first ports of call.

Please make time for yourself : if we can help in any way let us know and we will try.

Hoping for the best possible news for you both.

Sending you all the lovenhugs you need

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxooo

[debbie36a]

I know exact how you are feeling as my husband was in a coma for almost 4 weeks and i never left his bedside. All the emotions your feeling will be overwhelming I've been where you are now. It's a terrible time your having but you must take care of yourself. I had breakfast with random people just so i didn't feel alone. Your not alone here keep in touch. Sending you huge hugs. Please take care and take each day as i comes. Xx

[Alice5]

So sorry to hear about your husband. It is still such early days, try to take things a minute, hour, day at a time.

It is so scary for you but the brain can heal, unfortunately it will take time and you will need to be patient. No-one can tell you the outcome, only time will tell but there are plenty of people on here who have experienced what you are going through and come out the other side.

One thing I know is that people on here can be your family and be there for you, you can share whatever thoughts and concerns you like, share the ups and downs, people will understand no matter what.

Look after yourself too and I hope things will improve xx

[cat3]

Healing of the brain is such an invisible business. But your husband isn't just lying there, he's healing................slowly.

Three weeks is nowhere near enough time for such healing but, as others have said, talk to your man and let your voice reassure him and, hopefully, encourage him to make his way back to you.

I'm sorry you're so isolated but hold on ; the situation can improve literally overnight.

Sincere best wishes, Cat x

[Steve49]

Hi. I'm sorry to hear off your current situation, are you able to contact your local "Headway" for help & support??

Do you have family or Freinds to offer you help?? You can get as much help & support on here !!! We can give you both advice & help.

Please fell free to ask me anything you need.

Steve.

[1949liz]

Bless your heart, remember all your emotions are normal so try to keep strong and positive. Do you have family and friends who you can share your loneliness with? Always remember you can speak to a headway support team they helped me so much during my illness.

Try to eat and sleep as your husband needs you more than ever and when you visit him, read and speak or even play his favourite music.

Loads of prayers and thoughts during this stressful time.

Love Liz 🌹

[Nutkin33]

Shame. That's a real shock for you.

Please see if you have a Headway in your area. They have Support Groups as well as befriending groups, so I would try and join straight away!

When your husband is further down the line with his rehabilitation, he must join. Acceptance of this condition is one of the hardest things to overcome.

We are never quite the same as before. Patience and dedication are qualities that will be needed!

Good luck and all the best!

😊😉

[malalatete]

K - Sorry missed this when you posted....you know what the internet is like round here. I am, it seems, just down the road. I'm not in quite the same position - more sudden onset, now chronic neuro condition with potential future ABI hovering in the background - but Im happy to bring what experience I have to bear and offer a listening ear... there is more on my profile, and please PM me if you need that ear, or a shoulder.

[KNSJ44 in reply to malalatete]

Hi. Thanks for the reply, whereabouts are you? I'm 20 mins between Bourne /Sleaford .

[Hidden]

You will feel so helpless but leave his care to the professionals. They are wonderful and he will be in the best hands. Look after you and stay strong. I wish you alk the best

[SAMBS]

Hi K,

I also am sorry I missed your post last week and to read of where both you and your husband are at right now.

I endorse absolutely everyone's replies to you and I can imagine on slightly, how you must be feeling, the word 'coma' itself is so frightening in itself!

You know what's going in your head, but not your husbands . I expect You have been imagining the worst when he's just lying there with several tubes feeding oxygen, medication perhaps and bodily nourishment to him. and although I was in a coma for only a few days in 2013, I have no idea what went on with me, And don't know if my husband stayed or not at that time.

However, As Cat and and others have already said, your husband yisn't just lying there, he is healing,- albeit slowly. The pressure on his brain if any, will be being reduced bit by bit, through the medication tubes perhaps, and the nourishment his other organs and blood supply to the brain will need to help him. For yourself,you also need nourishment and sleep as often as you can, even if just in the chair sitting beside him in hospital. A few minutes or more will do you so much good, and help you stay strong.

Debbie used the word overwhelming, she hit the nail on the head there, all sorts of emotions and stress must be totally overwhelming you, because you must feel powerless to anything except just sit and wait. As you said it's just the 2 of you, and you probably thinking what if it's only me, a truly terrible place to be in these darkest hours for you,

please try and be brave and strong for yourself and your husband, even in a coma, people say the subconscious is aware of familiar voices, smells, sounds like music, or if you have a dog/cat, a recording of barking or Miaowing that you could also play softly to him nearer his ears. A favourite song or theme tune, it's all about familiarity. thinking of and praying for you both. S x

[KNSJ44 in reply to SAMBS]

Thankyou x