Today I go to visit a neurologist due to fitting induced by the flashing of a light by Specsavers when photographing my retinas. Had a year of petit mal which ceased 23/06/2014 with me going right out and falling off a kitchen stool meaning my face looked as though I'd let Tyson use my fizzog as a punch bag.

I have been told that I may well 'have to' have an EEG where a fit is induced. Well, 'have to' doesn't exist because in four days my now non-occurring Epilepsy state is a thing of the past with a year having passed. [Not that I drive].

So I attend the neurologist under protest; if my wife hadn't stated 'Have you told the Doctor about your fitting ...?' when I had an appointment for something totally unrelated I would not be about to miserably go to see this bloke. Major marital rift that; wish I was single to be honest - but then again my forthcoming nine days in Bangkok alone :) means no moaning as I explore the effects of a 'Chaotic Attractor affecting a Socio-empathatic street culture.'

I'll probably explore the bars as well [and I hear female company is only one stool away]! Although it would never happen I'd love to see my wife's face if I returned with a young Thai bride on my arm...... 'This is your replacement dear ...' [Its happened in our family although the lady concerned is a nice Filipinno]. That would have an effect methinks!!!!

Recently I employed the services of a private Psychologist some months back to see if I could do anything about my damnable lonliness that causes my depressions. My eventual 'diagnosis' was 'Socially and Sexually Lonely.'

Easy to say but there's not a lot I can do about either as I don't make friends [must be a right off-putting bloke] whilst the other matter is a celibacy enforced upon me by the ramifications of age and marriage; nature plays some terrible tricks.

So, perhaps I'll be able to rid myself of my demons in BKK, perhaps not - but one thing is sure; Mr Neurologist will be glad to see the back of me today.

All this because of how I have evolved since my TBI 48 years ago.

If anyone wants to state the obvious about me please do - I'll not even be offended!

4 Replies

  • Hi braine

    Social isolation is something that many of us have felt/feel.

    When I discussed this very thing with my OT and told her that I was useless in social situations because I can't start conversations she looked at me and gently explained that I didn't have to start conversations but I could contribute to them as everyone has an opinion about everything.

    Being more social doesn't have to mean making friends.

    Take a hobby class, join a walking for health group, anything that gets you out and mixing has the added bonus of giving you something to talk about when you get home.

    I can only speak for myself but I have found my walking for health group fantastic.

    Love n hugs


  • Sorry to hear about your fitting returning. I too am awaiting an EEG at the moment so can sympathise with you.

    Also i think many of us Bi sufferers have depression issues so please don't feel alone there.

    There's no obvious to state about you apart from the fact that you sound like a normal guy with Bi and as for relationships it takes a hell if a lot to keep one going after a Brain injury.


  • I read, last year, about a Scottish guy who brought a Tai lady to live with him and his invalid partner. The arrangement was apparently still working well 6 years on with the approval of all three and, although there were those who disapproved, it gave the three involved a better quality of life.

    It could be said that he had the best of both worlds with a soul-mate and a separate sexual mate, but his partner also gained a helpful and respectful companion whilst keeping the affections of her man. The Tai lady, apparently, gained the security and affection from both.

    And it could be argued that, rather than being a bizarre arrangement, it's really ideal to have three people living together with all their needs met, in a loving and mutually beneficial arrangement ??

    So be careful what you wish for braindat.

    Sorry you're so miserable though ; many of us are I'm afraid (maybe your wife too) & it's such a waste of precious life. :-) xx

  • Randonphantoms, Karen2101 and Cat3 many thanks for your thoughts here; I'll try to answer in turn.

    It was 'Miss Neurologist' and she had every note made about me, which was surprising.

    Well, she listened to my answers and interacted just fine so I was undoubtedly a little hasty in my pre-visit summation.

    The rub of it is that I have been told that it is likely I am having small fits that remain unnoticed either because of their brevity or they are small in magnitude, occasionally boiling over as it were.

    I was told the medication is light years ahead of the Phenobarb or Pheytoin I used to take and if I was offered the medication then the choice to use would be mine.

    I was told about the side effects of taking or not taking and I opted for the latter; those of you who have been on here the same time or longer will know about my early medication and what I did - not for me to influence others.

    That was where it was left; I was told I can never drive again [I've only driven once] and that I would be discharged back to my GP.

    No EEG, an understanding neurologist and a happy me.

    Now, I have an all absorbing hobby - amateur radio as well as photography and writing articles for magazines I have friends with each interest - flung around the world. My good friend died in March - the daft bugger used ring me at 0330 to ask if I was awake. Iused to reply, 'Of course, lying here awake all night waiting to tell you.' Miss that now he's gone. We just met at a news stand where we separately knew the proprietor.

    Regarding making friends, its difficult indeed and I find I can't respond to others readily. Whilst I laugh and joke with persons I find no spark - this is as common with BI survivors as is bad tempers and stuttering for word selection. My missus has no interest in my radio stuff and is quite happy to do her own thing whilst I do mine; if I talk about it she switches off. We go to the theatre once or twice a year - won't do cinemas but that's it. Very difficult for her I think.

    I won't be bringing anyone home with me Cat3; it's just a little fantasy, sadly. I feel that I don't have intimacy [that doesn't just mean bonking folks]; there's no welcoming smiles or the odd cuddle and I've been rebuffed so many time I just don't bother now. My wife still cooks for me, sorts my bed out [she has one bedroom and I have another of our remaining four] for change of bedlinen, etc. She irons for me when I don't - just pressed 4 shirts and two pairs of trouser so she won't have to this week and looks after the house.

    All that will happen in BKK is that I would female welcome company but won't be taking it to any conclusion, its not the way to be. Can't stop the fantasy though.

    I have a Thai friend who warned me about the delights of where I am staying and I've since discovered a rather catchy tune on 'youtube' that adequately put to lyrics what the Thai lady was trying to tell me. If anyone is interested search 'youtube' for Nana the Isan Project and listen carefully to the words; it's all there.

    I'm totally happy with the result at the neurologist and *thank you all* for your comments, kind and advisory. Where would I be without such advice and comment?

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