How do you stop the meltdown?: It’s been 8 years of... - Headway

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How do you stop the meltdown?

Brain_or_Shine profile image
18 Replies

It’s been 8 years of the after effects of my TBI which, like many of you on here, includes anxiety and panic attacks.

One thing I’d love to ask you lovely people is to share some strategies on avoiding a compete meltdown?

Over the past few weeks, I’ve experienced the usual fatigue, lack of concentration and frustrations. It slowly built and led to waking in the middle of the night with a full on panic attack. A few more followed over a couple of days.

Last Friday, I could sense that I was going to hit full on melting point and spent the day practicing meditation, resting, sleeping and doing some simple business activities. In the evening, my wife and I went for a quiet drink in the local pub and suddenly it hit me. I have no idea why but I had a full on panic attack again but have no memory of what triggered it or what happened afterwards. All I remember is my wife being incredible upset and I ended up waking about three laps of our local park in the dark. I was sick a number of times, dazed, confused and then spent the next day completely emotional drained and felt broken.

Now, I’ve experienced this many times before and every time, never want to experience it again (especially for my wife, who is my guide through every day of brain injury).

It almost seems as if I did everything to avoid this meltdown and it still happened. It’s left me feeling vulnerable and anxious as well as loaded with guilt. Although, I feel a lot calmer now and my therapist sees the positives that these episodes are less frequent, it would be great to eradicate them altogether.

It would be wonderful to hear what strategies you all employ in these situations to avoid full on meltdowns.

Thank you all 😌

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18 Replies
Plenty profile image
Plenty

Hi,

For myself, I’m now thinking that fatigue plays a massive part in quality of life after a brain injury.

All the usual symptoms are exacerbated more and more as my fatigue levels go up.

Once I’ve reached meltdown or bust! (Boom and bust cycle), it then takes days to get over.

What are your triggers for fatigue? and have you any early warning signs that your fatigue level is going up?

I had the opportunity to go out last week, some where I was really interested in going, but realised it would be a long day, lots of social activity, and an overload on all my senses! So I chose not to go as it would wipe me out.

It’s all most like you have to do less for a better quality of life.

Brain_or_Shine profile image
Brain_or_Shine in reply to Plenty

Hey Plenty

Yep, totally with you on this one.

I guess my fatigue triggers are the usual suspects with BI. I tried to avoid over concentration, driving long distances (much easier since Covid), noisy places and information overload).

Definitely have avoided going out and socialising in noisy places and have missed family and friends birthdays and such in the past.

pinkvision profile image
pinkvision

Hi Teynboy. I've managed to eradicate ALL fatigue and anxiety and panic attacks relating to brain injury. The triggers for these are mainly sensory, vision and sound mostly, some cognitive and also gastric.

A suggestion may be to get your vision tested by a behavioural optometrist, avoid all frequency lighting (LED and fluoresent, tube lighting), avoid patterns and bright colours, especially in echoing rooms and close confined spaces. The mixture of these visual environments with sound, bleeping 'digital' noises and voices overload the sensory system and the body goes into panic mode. Shops, pubs, offices and especially hospitals all have this issue. Try to avoid them.

Sugar and alcohol are a definite no no. If you avoid these for a month and then go back to them you will see the difference immediately as your head goes crazy and causes anxiety and maybe panic. Caffeine and other additives found in processed foods also have this effect.

Getting into conversations where you have to really think about what you need to say also causes overload and if they are in an environment where the above stimuli are present then it's even worse.

From your description above you were already going down the bad road when you were feeling fatigue, going to a pub exacerbated your already failing system and just finished you off.

Change life factors to suit your needs and never get these episodes again. It works.

Plenty profile image
Plenty in reply to pinkvision

Yes, from his description, the business activities and going to the pub, are not great for recovery.

Brain_or_Shine profile image
Brain_or_Shine in reply to pinkvision

Ah thank you both.

Indeed, diet is extremely important.

I follow the 80-20 rule when eating. 80% of my diet is pretty much fresh and healthy, plant based foods and the other is treats.

I don't touch caffeine, have never liked tea or coffee and don't drink any fizzy drinks. My only vices are chocolate and real ales.

I definitely try to avoid busy, noisy places where possible. Most of the time, I can cope and it's fine. The trip to the local pub is usually a good place to relax. It's normally quite quiet and I don't drink excessively. It was a little noisier than normal so this contributed.

Great idea with the vision test. Other than regular eye tests, I've not had that before. Will look into it, thank you.

Glenquoich profile image
Glenquoich

I'll start with Spoon Theory, it's well worth reading, it applies to any chronic illness and disability and a good metaphor for explaining your situation to people.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon...

Energy levels and stimulus are my triggers and not necessarily at the time they happen, it could be hours after the event, in bed at 4am.

Becoming over talkative is another signal that there's a meltdown in the post, it might have something to do with adrenaline. To mitigate that I have a couple of 'brain tunes' that seem to switch my brain over to a more helpful state. If I'm out somewhere, I'll even find a toilet cubicle put my headphones on and spend 5 or so minutes listening to a couple of tunes on my phone, I also have some pictures on my phone to stare at, a bottle of vetiver essential oil to smell and one of those roller balls to massage my temples.

Instead of keeping a diary (too much effort when fatigued), I wrote a list of behaviours,(mine and others), events, stimulus etc. It took me over a week to write it out by spending half an hour twice a day on it but now I have a check list I can tick, I'm probably not explaining it well. The behaviours, events etc are the rows. In the columns are the dates of panic attacks and meltdowns. Then I just put a tick in the box, sometimes my wife goes over it with me because she'll remember things I didn't. After about 6 months, I could see a pattern and knew what to either avoid, minimise or mitigate.

You seem to have done the right thing by walking laps round the park, try counting breaths as you walk; in for four paces, hold for two, out for two.

A lot of helpful info on this website also;

brainline.org/

Brain_or_Shine profile image
Brain_or_Shine in reply to Glenquoich

Ah thank you Glenquoich

The spoon technique is a great analogy. My community brain injury group used a similar one, the mobile phone battery analogy. Try opening loads of apps when the battery is low and think of the processing speeds. The only way to get it working again is to fully charge the battery.

Good shout with the music and meditation. I guess that's one thing I don't always do and that's remove myself in the moment. I'll try and push through in a busy place.

Walking (and running) are definitely good activities. Counting breaths, great idea 👍🏻👍🏻

Painting-girl profile image
Painting-girl

I think the hardest thing for me is learning to rest/ take a break somewhere quiet before I need to. But it does work - better than waiting for a fatigue ambush.

Agree with the others here that fatigue plays a part, so keeping a diary, staying hydrated, grabbing time out in the loo when the environment is busy, staying off caffeine and alcohol...

I was very overloaded and anxious last week - just over little family get togethers for my mum's birthday. The mindfulness approach of just noting 'that's a thought' 'that's a feeling' and knowing that they aren't lasting things helped me to get past the heart-thumping anxiety thing.

And what seems a weird thing that my psychologist got me to do which is to work out what the feeling is, where I can feel it in my body (always my chest and neck) and then imagine you've taken the feeling out of your body and are looking at it - and decide what its colour, shape, and texture is. It does actually seem to let down the panic balloon - I think it must stop the mind spiralling into something worse?

Plus support on here of course 😊

Brain_or_Shine profile image
Brain_or_Shine in reply to Painting-girl

Ah yeah, I'm with you on that. It's hard to discipline yourself to switch off but definitely vital. Thank you 😊

cat3 profile image
cat3

Panic attacks are commonly caused by hyperventilation, where CO2 is expelled from the lungs too quickly, preventing delivery of blood to the brain and resulting in dizziness, fainting, panic and breathlessness. And they happen randomly when least expected.

The problem is fixable with deep breathing - the sort we do after walking briskly or exercising, where our lungs are fully expanded and breath is momentarily held before exhaling.

I learned this from a psychotherapist in the 90s after years of terrifying attacks and being too afraid to leave the house. Once I realised it actually worked I became confident enough to shake off attacks by grabbing my coat and walking around the block. It took some courage initially, with shaky legs and stilted breath, but always resulted in massive relief.

The permanent fix came from recognising over-breathing and correcting it on the spot. And as the fear of attacks receded, the feeling of freedom was priceless. I poo-pooed this simple tactic initially but was proved wrong .........and I'm happy to admit it !

Good luck Teynboy in shaking off this debilitating problem. Cat x

Brain_or_Shine profile image
Brain_or_Shine in reply to cat3

Thanks Cat 😊

Exercise definitely helps. When I used to freelance with my business, I would push myself to meet the demands of someone else. Running was my release from that.

Unfortunately, I had my first major panic attack whilst running which continued through that day. In the end, I had to stop freelancing but it seemed the damage was ingrained into me.

Breathing exercises are definitely a good key ☺️☺️

DTBI profile image
DTBI

My TBI was 6yrs ago, they cut half my skull off and I was in a coma fit a couple of weeks. There are lots of different experiences and thoughts on what people think might help you. I focused on physical activities, and drink beer and wine, re-opened a business 3yrs ago. Mentally I’m no where as good as I used to be, and my memory is crap, but I make do with what I’ve got, and never look bad.

I believe my mentality is 98% stronger than my body, and I know there are millions of people/kids worldwide who live in worse conditions than I do. Buddhism can give you great support and guidance.

Good luck with your future x

Fificakes2 profile image
Fificakes2 in reply to DTBI

I think you’ve not quite understood teynboy problem. He is affected by anxiety attacks and thinking about other people worse in the world is no help at all.

It’s not about positive and strong thinking but more about the feeling of pressure that you feel in yourself. I’m finding this pandemic a very stressful time too and when you’re out in public sometimes keeping it together can become too much for you.

DTBI profile image
DTBI in reply to Fificakes2

Apologies, I appreciate what you’re saying, I just wanted to try and help him believe in his own strength. I’ll make no further replies.

Fificakes2 profile image
Fificakes2 in reply to DTBI

No don’t say that and I appreciate what you’re saying and it’s really good thoughts if you’re feeling depressed and struggling to cope.

It’s just because of panic attacks are different ways to cope with them

Brain_or_Shine profile image
Brain_or_Shine in reply to DTBI

DTBI, honestly thank you and don't feel that you haven't contributed.

Being honest, I didn't have a full on operation and it took me around 6 years to accept that I had issues coping. Being fit and active and able to do the things I probably should never been allowed to do is a gift.

Hearing your story hit a huge note with me. Good on you for reopening your business again and moving to a stronger mental place. That is really inspirational and I can feed off your positivity, thank you ☺️

I've also looked into Buddhism too and do practice some relaxation and mind techniques from it. I have a number of Buddhist friends who have lent me some great nuggets 😊

Fificakes2 profile image
Fificakes2

Yes I do understand and I wish you the best with coping with your mental health. This pandemic is a massive shock to everyone and it changes so much about daily life and I’m feeling lots of anxiety too.

I expect that you had maybe overdone it but it’s so hard to know what’s right to do.

Brain_or_Shine profile image
Brain_or_Shine in reply to Fificakes2

Absolutely. The pandemic has pushed my routines out. It's nice not having to travel around with my business so much but then it's even harder to focus at times.

Great shout about overdoing it. Indeed, I struggle to know what to do at times. Yesterday I did very little in the morning, a little work in the afternoon, slept and then did a bit in the evening. The brain fog is still there.

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