Hi all

I'm new to the group so hi everyone, I'm a partner/carer for my partner Dave who suffered a MCA infarct stroke in July, daves paralysed on his right side unable to speak and severely brain damaged due to the stroke he also has the left side of his skull removed we've had the op to replace it cancelled twice due to Dave having pneumonia our next scheduled op is Friday 13th February but daves prognosis isn't good so not holding out much hope of the op going ahead. I love Dave more than life itself but I love the man I've got, but miss the man I lost, would love to speak to people who have got through this.

7 Replies

  • Hi Shell

    Welcome aboard. I think most of us on here are the ones with brain injury, rather than partner's supporting.

    It must be so hard for you to see the changes in your partner, truly heart breaking. I know my family find it very difficult to adjust to the new me.

    I hope you get support for both of you - that is vital, you need time to your self, and ideally some one to talk to. Also never give up hope, a lot of us on here have way exceeded the drs expectations of our recovery.

    Take care and best wishes to you both :)

  • All aboard the skylark!

    Welcome aboard Shell... I've heard that somewhere before :).

    As Hedgehog stated, most of us here have the brain injury but that doesn't mean you cannot find the support you need/want. You can talk to the Headway admin or visit website or talk on phone to them for more support.

    I can imagine it is very hard for you to see the changes in your partner.

    Hope you both get the support you need,


  • Hi Shell & welcome

    I am a carer for my husband, we were involved in an RTA in July 2013. Not our fault by the way.

    He is doing really well especially as the initial prognosis was really bad.

    It's hard work looking after someone who had always been so I dependant,even though he is mobile.

    The brain damage has completely changed him, & like you,I would love to have. him back as he was.

    We have been together for 35 years, he was my soul mate.

    We are gradually learning to live with the new Dick, but it isn't easy but hopefully will get better in time.

    Get as much support as u can but remember to look after yourself.

    Dave needs you, so stay well for both of you x

  • it was our son involved in an rta he suffered a massive tbi. at the moment he is in neoro rehab. Welcome to the site we have found this site invaluable for info for carers. As everyone else tells you look after yourself and take care John

  • Hi Shell,

    I have it from both sides-looked after my partner after his stroke a few years ago,then got ill 2 years ago myself with suspected Encephalitis.We are both very lucky that we are not too severely affected now .If Dave can get over the pneumonia and the op can be completed then you can begin to work together.Don't know if he is able to express himself through a word board ?Sometimes just being together,without words is enough,we found.As I always say,regarding BI,no matter the severity,the body has an amazing capacity for finding new pathways,you can never say never.They told my partner he may not speak again-after time and speech therapy he speaks just fine,with only a slight slur.

    All our best,Angela and Eddie xx

  • Hi ..I care for my son 19 who had a B.I following cerebral infarction ...stroke as a baby ...hope you find the support you need here .

  • Thanks u all for your kind words Dave's op is scheduled for this Friday so fingers crossed he's well enough 😊

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