Getting There

Hi Hedgehog

My accident was 4 years ago.

I think when i first joined I was so desperate to find out what it was i was I was supposed to be doing to get out of where I was and put things back in place as they were before - I thought someone might be able to tell me how they did it and where i am going wrong.

I am not very IT and its the first forum I have been on - it was an amazing experience. I thought I would just ask 'is there anyone out there' and when i did i got a whole load of replies saying yes there are lots of friendly people out here.

I have a lovely caring husband, but he goes blank when I try to talk to him

The people on the forum understood my 'babble' straight away. It was such a relief.

Somebody recently (might have been you) told me about the book 'brain Injury Workbook' by Headway. Ordered it last night. I have another one but dont understand the questions set so haven't progressed. So looking forward to getting it.

Are you ever hurt when a loved one doesn't understand you ? maybe your family do.

Doing a little work from home today, not too tired today.



13 Replies

  • Hi Jules, my husband only yesterday was really snappy with me when we were out shopping because I got mixed up with wher things were in the shop. But I just snapped back that I really mean it when I can't make sense of packed shop shelves, he backed off then and showed me where things are so I could choose.

    It really sucks doesn't it, but I understand he must get frustrated too.

    I wandered off on my own then even though that's stressful too cos I can never find him again and I have to try not to panic.

    Trying to remember to break up the post so BrokenDoll can read it too.

    I ant go back and put extra spaces in my I pad is not touch sensitive enough and I can't find my pointy thing.

    So I can't correct anything either Grrr!

    Anyhow, all was well in the end, it's just so hard for our nearest and dearest to believe we really have the problems we have.

    That was all I wanted to say.xx take care Janet xxxx

  • Hi

    Every time we go shopping he puts back on the shelves what i put in - doesn't mean any harm but is hurtful. I guess we get things wrong sometimes don't we and don't expect to stand and be corrected without getting angry with the person.


  • Hard on both sides x

  • Hi Jules

    I did see the book mentioned - but I also saw the price :o So I think I will wait a while before buying it, let me know what you think of it.

    I think I was like you, joined in desperation and looking for understanding and a quick fix - found understanding but also learnt there isn't a quick fix.

    I do sometimes get hurt when my family don't understand, but I try not to because I am only making myself feel worse. No matter how many times or ways I explain they don't get it. I suspect there is denial in there too, they don't want me to be different, or have difficulties, they want life to tick along as it always has. My mum clearly hasn't recovered from 'what I put her through' when I nearly died! How selfish of me ;)

    I think we need to hang onto the fact we know they love us but don't/can't understand. Take care Jules

  • Hi

    My mum and sister say the same to me.

    Oh well, we are all the same here aren't we !


  • Yeah that's why this forum is so important :)

  • Hedgehog

    Will let you know what its like - should arrive tomorrow - Wednesday I think.

  • I joined because I was feeling very low at the realisation and acceptance that my son is different now.

    After seeing a neurologist it brought it all back to me, my son wasn't upset, in fact he says he doesn't have the same emotions anymore.

    I feel so much better from being able to share when things have got me down.

    Thanks everyone x

  • Glad that you are able to share with us Alice. This forum is good for all of us to feel supported, and there always some one around if you fancy a chat :) So that helps those of us that feel alone/isolated.

  • Thanks for that, so good to know x

  • Morning guys. I don't have a BI but I work with people that do. Reading your comments made me chuckle as I do sympathise.

    My heart goes out to you for actually facing the crowed shops at this crazy Christmas time.

    I do most of mine online or let my husband do the food shop on his own as we inevitably argue about things we need or don't need (I'm a bit of a food magpie).

    So take heart that its not just you and your injury. Tis the season to be jolly! Start singing that to your stressed out spouse next time and maybe write a list of things you need x

  • Good morning Abico

    Reading others responses on the forum is the only time I really chuckle to myself too - better than any pain relief tablet !



  • It's not that my son doesn't understand me, he misunderstands me and I misunderstand him. That's happened more since his SAH and we have a lot more arguments because of it.

    Fortunately we both let rip and always get it sorted before too long, at the end we often still don't understand each other but most importantly we care about each other and I think we are both learning about the results of a brain injury no matter what the cause.

    It's a learning curve for sure x

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