A view on getting through: Hi. I got my ABI in 0... - Headway

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A view on getting through

GuyM profile image
GuyM
19 Replies

Hi. I got my ABI in 08. There's lots of stuff on things that may or may not help with this (there is no cure that I can see apart from time) but the thing that has really helped me (apart from love, care and huge patience) is mindfulness meditation every day.

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GuyM profile image
GuyM
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19 Replies

Hi Guy

Welcome. I have heard of mindfulness meditation, haven't actually tried tho. Could you recommend a web site or something please? Thanks

GuyM profile image
GuyM in reply to

I had tapes from a neuropsychologist (this was in Kenya). This link is to a taster for a very long course. May be best to try this one first - there's loads of this stuff e.g. on ITunes or as podcasts. Doesn't matter if you fall asleep doing it - I fell asleep the whole time and used to sleep 12-16 hours a day after I came out of a coma. I felt awful each time I woke up, and meditating is better than sleep - it didn't have the same fuzzy head side effects for me) and it means you sleep less (I guess because your brain is resting).

palousemindfulness.com/disk...

The link may not work, but a Google search would get it. And if you don't like the speaker's voice, keep searching until you get one you like.

Good luck.

in reply to GuyM

Thank you

I will give it a try

aqua4 profile image
aqua4 in reply to

Hi hedghog I can let u know ones I use if you need. Short to start off. K

in reply to aqua4

Thank you Aqua

aqua4 profile image
aqua4

Hi Guy, me aswell, Glad to see it helps you too. I know I wouldn't be where I am today without it, and of course the Neuropsychologist who introduced it to me 4 yrs ago. Never heard of it before then. Ur right about the time etc.

trippedup profile image
trippedup

Russ Harris - the neuropsychologist who saw mum suggests him and although mum wasn't interested, I do it and he's great.

Balaton52 profile image
Balaton52

Hiya Guy

Had my BI in 2011 (in Australia) and was recommended this as part of my rehab... must admit although did all the research etc etc didn't really give it a go... thanks for reminding me about it ... now determined to give it another go!

Regards

Mag

elisabeth9uk profile image
elisabeth9uk

I'm a psychotherapist and recommend it to my clients a good deal. Oxford University is a world centre of excellence for the subject and you'll find a lot on the web site, including resources such as books (the one by Mark Williams, centre top row, has a CD with it). There's also a short video there (3 mins) for a taste.

oxfordmindfulness.org/learn...

You can can go on local short courses which may be easier than trying to get the info through a book. Anyone trained at Oxford will be worth going to but your local NHS Mental Heath Trust may also run free ones. An ideal course would be one evening a week for 6-8 weeks followed by a one-day little retreat type thing - there are many private ones but they may well be expensive. You can Google those sorts of things for your local area.

There are videos on YouTube and many free apps available for both Android and iPhone.

Happy Friday, everyone xxx

aqua4 profile image
aqua4 in reply to elisabeth9uk

Hi Elisabeth, Mark Williams ones I use. Recommend as with cd.K

Nutkin33 profile image
Nutkin33

Oh good. Well I hope you continue improving !

Hi GuyM

Jules here.

My head injury was in 2010, loneliness with the contradiction of hating crowds has been my hardest thing.

I have started going to the gym and doing balance classes and now do exercises at home. I find it gives me something back of the old me for some reason.

Headway has been my Savior tho - people like you who I can chat to. Everyone seems to be in the same boat - to some degree.

Are you working still ?

Regards

Jules

GuyM profile image
GuyM in reply to Julesgettingthere

Hi Jules. I work. I'm trying to be aware how lucky I am, but it's easy to forget. I wanted to add some other stuff to this board - all experiences are different but there are some common themes you can see - memory, social skills, balance, tiredness were all ones I went through. Kenya is a self help country - no NHS, few medical professionals, but support from people every day more than compensated.

Julesgettingthere profile image
Julesgettingthere in reply to GuyM

Hi there

What are you doing in Kenya ?!

My family live in Gambia the west of Africa.

Trying to work from home today, going ok. Had my first half decent sleep last night - it makes a difference.

Do you sleep ok and can i ask (sorry if i shouldn't) do you suffer from bad dreams ?

The other thing that sometimes puts ME in perspective is animals. They dont judge me other than how much affection I give them.

Regards

Jules

GuyM profile image
GuyM in reply to Julesgettingthere

Hi. I lived in Kenya from 1989 - 95 and again from 2005 to 13 i.e. until last year; I'm now back in the UK but still travel to Africa sometimes - I was in Mozambique last month (a brilliant place). I was a partner in PwC the accounting firm - I ran the management consulting practice in Uganda, Tanzania and Rwanda, but was based in Kenya. I travelled all over Africa with work - Ghana, Nigeria, Angola, Zambia, Mozambique, South Africa, Botswana, Zimbabwe, Malawi. I even went to Ethiopia for a day. I had a car accident in Nairobi in Feb 08 hence the BI.

I used to sleep 14-16 hours a day for the first few months after the accident, then I was taught how to meditate by a neuropsychologist and slowly started to sleep normal hours. I can't meditate after lunchtime otherwise I can't sleep at night - a bit like drinking coffee. I had no dreams at all for the first year - just nothing. Funny, I was discussing dreams over dinner with my daughters (9 and 8) and I realised I still hardly dream at all or at least don't remember them. I guess it is different for different people.

The thing about a BI is that people may think you look like everyone else on the outside, but no one has any idea what is going on in your head, whereas physical injuries are easy for everyone to see. So, after I got out of a wheelchair, everyone who knew I had been in an accident thought i was better - they can't see the brain so they assume as a leg has been mended everything is fine. Then they started to think it was strange that I had to keep resting or that I walked oddly or that my speech was slurred when I got tired (like I was drunk).

The people who judge you have no idea at all what they are talking about. That's their problem, not yours.

There's so much to a BI - each one is different but there are some common themes. I would really encourage getting the Brain Injury Workbook from Headway - this is a great start to understanding this stuff and gives real guidance on the way tpo approach what for me has been the hardest thing I've ever had to face.

Good luck.

Julesgettingthere profile image
Julesgettingthere in reply to GuyM

Hi GuyM

Wow ! and I thought I had traveled.

What I am noticing is that all the people I have chatted to on Headway seem to be really nice people who have had an extraordinary past in one way or another. It hits me how cruel it is for these to be the people that have experienced it only to have it taken away. There is an expression (or something I heard once and it was along the lines of 'those who shine brightest 'go' first'. I believe it referred to loosing a life,

I didn't acknowledge any of my injuries for a long time, even now with some.

Like you, I worked hard at physical recovery and now just walk a little oddly. My friends don't understand why then I am not out socializing with them. I have become a bit of a home bird these days.

I only found out about headway a few months ago. I wish I knew about it in the early days. To know i am talking to others who experience the isolation in your head makes me smile.

I used to work in finances too, I was a Finance Director of an animal charity for 25 years. I loved my job, it was very secure, paid well. I still work for the charity but have a little room by myself where I can shut the door.

In the past I worked for Whipsnade Zoo in London and a veterinary surgery,

but the thing I was best at was finance, so that's what I ended up doing. I miss contact with the animals and directing the finance. After 4 years, its only now i sort of know I am never going to be me again.

The biggest problem I have is I only loved my motorbike and work and they have gone. That leaves you with a sort of empty person.

I guess we all feel this way...do we ?

Regards

Julie

GuyM profile image
GuyM in reply to Julesgettingthere

Hi

Maybe it's that all people are extraordinary, but actually we just don't notice it - so, the person I bought a cup of coffee from today is extraordinary but I'm not aware of it because all I saw was someone behind the counter who was going to a machine to make me coffee.

But people with BI are unusual. I think we've been let in to a club that very few belong to. Having a BI has allowed me to realise what an amazing thing the brain is and how lucky I am to have one, even one that doesn't work quite the sae way as everyone else's brain. Also, it sometimes seems I am in a parallel universe which looks like the world I used to be in but is different because I don't always react as I used to.

The great thing about Headway is that it means you are not the only one in this paralle universe - there's loads of us who look like everyone else but are different. The people here are incredibly supportive as far as I can see, perhaps because having a BI is a really humbling experience and deep down we know that it doesn't matter how smart or fancy you think you are - everyone is one step away from struggling with memory, tiredness, dreams (or lack of them) and general lack of co-ordination.

When I was travelling around Africa pre BI I expected seat 1A on the aircraft, a driver to be on time to collect me at the airport and the best room in the best hotel everywhere I went. That stuff is completely meaningless and I was taught a lesson before it was too late.

So, don't feel empty - just feel different, not worse or better.

Cheers

Guy

Julesgettingthere profile image
Julesgettingthere in reply to GuyM

Hi there Guy

'humbling experience' ... yes, you hit the nail on the head.

Nice chatting to you

take care

Regards

Jules

aqua4 profile image
aqua4

Hi Guy, you put that really well.

Hi Jules, I've not had an extraordinary past, just lost the ability to do many of the ordinary things, you know think, work, drive etc etc etc.

That's why the support on this Headway site is so valuable for everyone whatever their pre- bi lives were like. K

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