Very, VERY annoyed

I have to say, I'm very annoyed with whoever runs this site. Firstly a thread that caused offence is removed and now the thread including the chance to redress the vitriol that was spewed has gone too. It's disgraceful that someone can spread that sort of insulting nonsense and get away with it, leaving those accused with no method of reply, as when that reply is given, it's deleted.

Innocent until proven guilty, or apparently not on here as defending yourself is just removed on a whim. Well, the damage was done and then the response was deleted along with the accusations.

Hardly fair.

No doubt this will be deleted too, leaving everyone free to say whatever they like and upset as many people as they want. Well I want no part of it

31 Replies

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  • It's the nature of the beast ie web forum's where personal attacks etc tend to just get deleted, leaving people with no way to argue the point.

    there are open places but this tends to be in the older parts of the internet ie not web. where there is no moderation, though can end up being fairly robust places, Usenet is one such, though these are twilight years for them.

  • Sorry Andy my sympathies, I understand how you feel and justifiably so xx Janet

  • Hi Baron,

    Thank you for raising this issue, and I am very sorry to hear this.

    I have sent you a private message explaining the situation with the deleted posts, the first of which was removed from the community by the author before we had the chance to see the disagreement in question.

    It is certainly not our intention to inflame an already very difficult situation, or to remove anyone's right to defend themselves. While we can't comment directly having not seen the initial disagreement, we know that you and the other members in question are extremely valued and supportive members of this community who received overwhelming support from our other members.

    Please don't hesitate to contact me directly to discuss things further, and I hope we can get things back to normal as soon as possible.

    Best wishes,

    Andrew

  • Hi Baron

    Sorry this has happened to you guys. I understand how you must feel, but just wanted to point out that those of us that saw the accusation also saw the replies of defence.

    Take care

  • Don't feed the trolls Andy, some people have nothing other to do than cause trouble/wind people up.

    It's the nature of any forum, you're going to get a few people like that. More importantly, I doubt anyone believes what they said.

  • Sorry Andy I've only just looked in. Yes it's a bit of a double whammy but Headway probably felt the inflammatory title might be perpetuating the problem. Also I wonder whether they feel they should protect the perpetrator as she was also a Headway member.

    But from our perspective, the opportunity for those who saw the post to speak up for the three of us and confirm that we were not abusive in any way, and certainly were not a 'mob' is no longer a source of consolation. I do share your frustration.

    I truly regret that both you and Stace were vilified for simply trying to redress the balance by seeking an apology for the appalling insults because if it had happened to someone else, I would have done exactly the same.

    The whole business has left a dark cloud over us and it was all so pointless & unnecessary.

    xxx

  • dear cat3 I missed the posts so don't know whats gone on. but I value you and the baron so much I don't know what id of done without your help and support over the past 10 months please don't leave here. id be lost without you all. best wishes jo

  • No Jo, I'm not going anywhere. I just decided to take a break whilst I cool off from an insulting post which I'm beginning to realise is not worth getting so emotional about. I've always had a big problem with injustice but I realise it's more important to embrace what's good rather than waste precious time on mischief -makers.

    Thank you so much for your kind words ; they're very soothing. :-/

    Talk soon Jo & Take care xx

  • I'm going nowhere either :)

    Well, I'm off to Bakewell soon, but that's about it

  • Bakewell now that's one of our favourite places to go for a few hours. Those fish and chips mmmmmm

  • Tell me about it! I'm there on Friday/Saturday for the wedding of the year :)

  • I hope the dry weather continues for the wedding and all goes well. I believe it was the Christmas Market last weekend, we ended up at Peak Village though. Lovely Christmas atmosphere!

  • Now I understand your post. Realised the other one has been taken down. I'm sorry that anyone had to be put thru this nonsense. Maybe if it hadn't been at a weekend it would have been picked up on the original post.

    I really wouldn't like to think that anyone else would leave as it would be a terrible waste.

    I appreciate your posts, always look forward to the light hearted banter of straight to the point replies.

    I think the majority of the site users would miss you very much.

    I hope this does not impact on your new family life.

    Was if you that said to let the sh#t slide! of something like that.

  • Hi guys, please don't feel that you can't speak freely and I hope you will continue with your good advice. These sort of boards will always have this sort of thing happen from time to time. Please don't let that silence you or take it to heart.

  • No idea what all this is, sorry. Praps best I missed it? Scary stuff though,should I leave now in case I write something wrong? I do try not to but we're human PLUS injured.

  • please please don't leave here id miss you so very much.

  • Ey up !

    Sorry, as always I am late to anything that's happened. I feel like one of those extras in a John Wayne movie where there's a fight and one person just sits in the saloon having a wee drink oblivious to all going on around them.

    I am so sorry that you have been upset, no idea whats happened either.

    I've had crap on another forum in the past before I realised Headway actually did have a forum.

    It is unsettling to have someone wind you up and get nasty.... but as has been said, sadly the nature of the internet at times. Doesn't make it any easier I know.

    I hope you come through this ok, I enjoy reading your contributions and posts, they have been a great help to me and others.

    All good wishes

    Foggy

  • NOT LONG AGO I HAD A REALLY TERSE REPLY TO ONE OF MY POSTS, NOT RUDE BUT VERY HURTFUL HENCE I'VE NOT BEEN AROUND AS MUCH AS I USED TO BE. THIS WAS A PLACE WHERE I REALLY FELT SAFE BUT NOW I HAVE AN IOTA OF NERVOUSNESS ABOUT COMING HERE. 99% OF PEOPLE ARE LOVELY, KIND & SUPPORTIVE THO' SO I'LL STILL BE AROUND.

  • Hey Zeb

    Good to see you again - sorry that you were upset by a post in the past. I hope that you can gain confidence in us again, and I'm sure everyone will be pleased to see you back :)

  • Wondered where you'd gone and if you were OK. Good to have you back.

  • Please get posting again Zeb. You're an integral part of Headway and your absence leaves a hole which no one else can fill. :o xx

  • THANK YOU ALL. AS YOU KNOW CONFIDENCE IS A VERY FRAGILE THING. AFTER THE NASTY POST I JUST THOUGHT TO HELL WITH & WITHDREW. ANYWAY IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK,ESPECIALLY WITH ALL YOUR KIND WISHES.

    SORRY IMISSED THE AWFUL POSTS YOU WERE ALL DEALING WITH. I WAS UPSET TO SEE SUCH KIND SUPPORTIVE PEOPLE BEING MISTREATED BY WHAT I ASSUME WAS A TWIT.

    ONWARDS & UPWARDS EVERYBODY

  • Zebedee!! You bounced back! Good to see you, don't let the nonsense drag you back, it's not worth the worry.

    Come back and stay back, you've been told, so there :)

  • OOER I'M SHAKING IN MY BOOTS! IF I COULD STAND UP PROPERLY THIS MORNING I'D FALL OVER !!

    I'M SO OUT OF PRACTICE THAT I'M LOSING & DELETING MESSAGES SO YOU'LL EITHER SEE THIS TWICE OR NOT AT ALL!!

  • Seen it, read it, taken it in.

    Now hang around. Thank you.

    At ease...

  • So sorry to hear of the unhappy events; I missed most of it.

    Please Andy and Cat don't be deterred from posting we need you too much to let one person damage this place of support and connection!

  • Having not seen any of the posts mentioned or the reply's given I can't really give a direct response other than that, having found this forum, I'd suddenly realised a) I wasn't going mad and a lot of my symptoms were real and not imagined and b) that I wasn't alone.

    The support given and gained from these forums far outweighs any downsides and am glad to hear that the administrators take quick and positive action, even if it means removing the defensive replies. The fact that the post has been removed surely proves that any offensive post was unjustified or poorly thought through in the first place.

    Others on these forums please don't leave because of the odd offensive thread. The benefits gained from your words of comfort, advice and support to 'newbies' and those who still need that valuable on going support far outweighs any possible negatives.

    Thank you all.

  • Hi Baronc

    You are an inspiration and a valuable contributor to this site . I have always found your replies to be helpful and your sense of humour a tonic. Please continue to keep in touch this site would not be the same without you.We need you. You are a decent guy your genuine concern for others shines through your commentaries.

    Best wishes to you and yours.

    Torquay.

  • Thanks all for your support. To be honest, I never really had any intention of giving up on the site, I was simply expressing my annoyance at the smear directed primarily at Cat, then myself and Stace, that seemed to be being ignored.

    Headway were decent enough to contact myself (and Cat, I believe) to explain their reasoning. Although still annoyed, I do understand the explanation, well, some of it anyway.

    In short, I couldn't let the accusation directed towards a fellow user go without saying something at least, that's not my way. It was a nonsense and the tone was frankly hurtful. I could quite easily have torn into the user and used language that would have had them running for the hills, but the responses from the Three Amigos (The Cat, The Baron, The Stace) were reasoned, calm and not in any way inflammatory.

    Anyway, I'm bored of it now. Onwards and upwards...

  • I did not see the posts at the weekend, but replies on Monday I think, before it was deleted. As you say, for all mentioned it is a stress you do not need. I love the forum . enough said :). Happy Tuesday to you all!

  • I never saw the original thread but caught some of the responses. Anyone who reads this forum on even a casual basis knows the truth about Cat, Baron and the others - hugely supportive and always kind and helpful members. I don't think we need to get caught up in a big to and fro- deep breath, move on and keep up the good work.

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