Sister had aneurysm 3 years ago..still no better.

[buddy7069]

Just got off phone with lady from Headway and she told me about this forum. It helps to know I am not alone..

Long story short- sister (46 yrs old) had aneurysm July 2011. 2 weeks in coma, 3 months in rehabilitation. twice committed because of psychosis/paranoia. Has been on Olanzapine, Piportil, and now anti-depressants. Sleeps 20+ hours a day. Eats when food is put in front of her but when left to her own devices, she does not get up so misses meals. Lives alone and for last few months has had care workers in twice a day but sometimes doesn't answer door to them as she's in bed. She can't walk well (shuffles), has fallen down quite a few times and actually fractured her hand, doesn't really start any conversations, short term memory not good, forgets to wash etc. She lives in London and I in East Midlands. I bring her to my house for a couple of weeks at a time and care for her by trying to get as many meals down her as I can, washing her clothes, trying to get her to walk down the road etc. Have been told she doesn't need assisted living etc. I feel like she has just been given meds and forgotten about and I feel that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Has anyone been through or is going through a similar situation?

Thank you so much for reading. I feel better already just having written it down..

[cat3]

Hi Buddy. What a sad story ; I'm so sorry your sister's been so badly affected and for all the worry you're now going through.

I had a SAH in Dec 2011 and, to the great relief of my son and daughter, I came through with no major disabilities and an acceptable quality of life. But 7 months later my ex-husband suffered the same fate, except that his haemorrhage was much more serious and it became clear quite early on that he wouldn't achieve anywhere near the same level of recovery.

However, we tried to stay positive and had hopes for his return home with the aid of his wife and carers but it wasn't to be. He is still unable to walk or speak and requires 24 care owing to other complications. So, although our kids railed against it, he was admitted to a care home in 2013 where they visit him regularly and know, at least, that he is safe and comfortable.

Your situation is more complicated, what with your sister's ability to speak for herself and her comparative youth, and yet you fear for her safety and wellbeing.

Have you considered residential care for her, although it would have to be with her consent and I can't imagine she would want such an upheaval if all she wants is to sleep.

Have you spoken to Social Services ?.................although it would still be a case of getting your sister's consent whatever was offered. And did Headway have any helpful suggestions ?

Regards, Cat x

[buddy7069 in reply to cat3]

Cat, thank you so much for your reply. I am happy to hear that you have made such a great recovery. It's motivating to hear that news. It's sad to hear about you ex-husband. Do they think he'll get any better?

We have a social worker who has been working hard to get us help. So far we have managed to get carers who come twice a day. Only problem is my sister sometimes doesn't open the door (probably sleeping etc) she lives in a 3rd floor flat. Or she doesn't tell them what she wants. Also, our social worker got my sister in at a day care and even had a taxi pick her up and then drop her back off (got to love the NHS!) but after a couple of weeks my sister complained that she didn't have enough energy to go. I am taking her back to London tonight and tomorrow we have an appointment with a neuropsychiatrist. Apparently our social worker thinks that my sister isn't bad enough to do the residential home route. But basically, I feel she has no quality of life. She sleeps 20+ hours a day and just gets up to eat (because we are making the meals for her). I was hoping after 3 years that she would start showing some improvement. It's impossible for me to move to London and my sister does not want to move up here. I'm at a loss as what to do...

Thank you again for writing.