How to support parents - mum had stroke 4 years ago

Hi everyone. Just found this place, after following Headway on Facebook and Twitter. Have found all your posts really interesting.

My mum had a minor stroke in 2012 which affected her memory and ability to select the right words. It didn't seem too bad in the first year or so, and she was having tests etc at hospital and drs. The symptoms seemed to have plateaud and she was no longer having medical appts. My dad didnt seem too concerned and she said she was ok every time we asked.

However in the last year or so, we have all noticed a difference in Mum's memory, but also mental state and loss of inhibition - saying inappropriate things, asking personal questions and has little tact. She has perhaps always had tendancies to do this... But it has definitely become much more obvious, regular and upsetting for us. She lost her mum almost a year ago, so I dont know if this is a factor in the changes we are seeing.

There is a new Headway charity shop in our local town which I know Mum has visited and taken leaflets from. But she hasn't made any further contact. I think there are 2 reasons for this. She forgets. And she doesnt think she's as bad as we think she is. She says her GP says there's nothing else to be done for her, but I don't believe it.

I would really like some advice and guidance as to what I can do to help, where I can go to get better advice and how I can support my parents.

I have emailed Headway with similar info and request, but interested in people's experience and advice here too. Thanks.

5 Replies

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  • Hi I have both a brain injury from multiple seizures and I also have a partner with a more severe brain injury. He has said weird or upsetting things to me in the past. I would tell him he does have problems and its because of two brain injuries. But he was in denial it took a long time for him to realise he needed support and to get an assessment. It was headway that helped they sent brilliant info even what to say to his gp. He insisted on a referral and now he's in the system. Its not going to be easy for him, but its a relief. If headway have given you advice then its the best. If you are really concerned then go to see your mums go with her and tell them straight whats happening and that she needs help. When you have any brain injury its convenient for the system to overlook you, don't let them. You know your mum, you know whats normal for her

  • Can you call headway and also take your mum to the GP to check? My mum has post concussion syndrome and she is improving but I have noticed she can be more emotional and can say more horrible things at times since her accident.

  • Welcome RedFox. Can you tell us your mum's age ?

    I'd certainly ask her GP (have to have your mum with you of course) whether they would refer her for re-assessment by a neuro specialist to see whether there's something else at play.

    I have to say though, I'm 5 years on from a haemorrhage and, the more that time has passed, the more outspoken and uninhibited I've become. And I am VERY forgetful (have to go to great lengths to remember appointments, occasions, shopping items etc.... (something very common after any brain injury).

    I hope you find the reassurance you're looking for ; it can be unnerving & worrying seeing these changes in a parent. Best wishes, Cat x

  • Thank you angelfish28 jayne_h cat3 for your kind replies. I emailed Headway yesterday and got a thoughtful but thorough reply. I will talk to my mum and dad now about ways forward that they are both comfortable with and hope that we can get the ball rolling on a few things. Will keep you updated. It's really great to have this support network for all people affected by brain injuries. Thanks again

  • Looks like you're taking a slight step back and approaching things afresh Red ; I hope you can all agree on how best to help your mum. We'll be here if you need us !

    Love your profile photo BTW ! xx

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