Dealing With Family

[Negeen]

How do you guys deal with family that is unwilling to help or be supportive?

[clivekeen]

Well mine are little supportive but don't understand my side of ABI they were when in hospital almost 5 years ago in august but they don't understand my disability fully only small bits no one else does either I look ok but not have to get around it on my own not even support groups are not much good for me sorry if I don't make sence hope you are ok

[spartan300]

I don't , they don't want to know OK fine by me , but one day you never know I may win the lottery jackpot, then it is payback time

[daisymay70]

Hi,I think that the family has to become aware of the situation even if difficult to accept in some ways, but the reality of an event cannot be changed.The way to encourage the family to re think about their actions has to be mediated by a good social worker and if not having a good result, maybe calling them in court for neglect?

[daisymay70]

My family is very supportive with me and when I meet my husband before marriage I told him my situation , so I advised him for the consequences of his choice, but when there is love, everything can be hold together

[celtic27465]

My family have been wholely supportive one or two have been indifferent but tried to understand how I was ! Could it be negeen that your family can't or don't want to understand how you are have you tried sitting them down and talking to them to try and get them to understand you would be grateful of there input to help your well being ! Nice to hear from you hope things do get better for you please message me if I can help I will ! On another point I went to see the phycologist he's a nice guy and a lot of things he says

[celtic27465]

Part 2 : make sense but also muddied the waters a bit I feel a bit confused about matters ! He's hoping I can start back work soon ! Hope you continue to get well x

[calimero262]

I have been fortunate to have close family being very understanding and supportive, even the world outside the four walls of our home can be cynical and even hostile. I think family councelling in the early days had helped a lot. My neuro-psychologist played an important role in giving explanation and guidance to people who had to deal with me day to day so that they have some idea about what I had to go through, even it is not easy to relate for them. I must say - with great pain - that the circle of friends had shrunk significantly. It seems that not everyone has the same patience and capacity or will to take what is beyond their acceptable parameter of understnading.

[Hidden]

I'VE ONLY GOT MY "SISTER" LEFT AS DAD HAS DEMENTIA. I HAVE CUT HER OUT. IT'S MUCH LESS STRESSFUL. WHEN I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO DEAL WITH HER I EMAIL. I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO HER SINCE 15TH MAY & THAT'S HOW IT'S GOING TO STAY.

[Sem2011]

My parents do not understand the implications or my ABI. I have tried to tell them, how emotionally difficult, fatigue, anger, anxiety, but my mum said last year when I became very emotional and anxious she could not support me emotionally. They have left it to my partner to deal with all on his own, which has been hard for him and me, his daughters and my son. We have had little support from professionals as we have to pay for Headway as I have equity in my house. Now I do not see much of my parents I find them emotionally draining and they say to Ian, has she pulled herself together now. My 21 year son has more empathy and supportive than my parents. I became more stressed at home and could not cope I went to live with my son for three months last year. I guess the old saying is we choose our friends but we cannot chose our family. I have had to let go of hoping my parents would be there for me. I came out of Hurstwood Park in a wheeling walker frame, not once did my mum come in and see how I was. BTW she is a nurse, visiting old people. I had to bump down the stairs on my bottom, use the commode , try to make a hot drink ,eat. I was on my own for 8 hours a day. Will I forgive her - nope. Will I be there for her when my dad dies, nope. Sounds hard but you reap what you sew. I am now living alone, not coping with housework etc that well as home situation was too stressful for everybody. if I had more support perhaps my partner and I would be living together still. he visits but it is not the same. brain injury affects the whole family, a ripple effect. How are you finding your family?

[Hidden]

Some family like my mum never understood or even began to show support. So just gave up consoling in her that is worthless getting nagged at. So now have a good friend who talk to when need to that is far much better.

[bexx87]

my mum has never given me emotional support during my injury (like my boyfriend does) she signed me up for after school classes as my school gave up on me (the after school classes never worked as I still ended up with appalling gcse grades) then she pushed me in to college and ever since then Ive been riding this out sole in terms of education (am currently doing a level apprenticeship which involves juggling college, work and 2 types of course work (college related and work related), my boyfriend has few negative comments about my injury such as you don't have anxiety but I went to see a specialist who gave me anti-anxiety table and voila no more anxiety, due to a rift between my mum and uncle, my uncle doesn't want to talk to me, he told my cousins not to tell me (which my aunt flipped out over), I have no grandparents so my boyfriends parents are like a second family even though I don't talk about my injury that much to them.

So due to the fact that all my mum did was shout at me and called me every name under sun when I came out of hospital, we don't have a relationship and on the rare occasions when I am seen in public with her, she embarrasses me and Ive tried talking with her about my injury but it gets her angry so my injury in a no-go-subject along with other topics like: my dad (don't know who he is), my uncle and my nan, which is why I get really envious when I see mothers and daughters laughing and joking.