One normal evening back in January of this year there i was minding my own business. Dont ask me what I was doing i cant remember. I know its wasnt anything extreme or particulary interesting though..
Anyway, there i was and arrr. I fell down some sandstone steps. Now instead of getting up and continuing as usual it seems to me that i awoke in a world similar to tim burtons alice in wonderland. Except there was nothing wonderful about it. Everything i was before was gone. The crazy, fun energetic woman karen was well.. somebody had stolen her and replaced her with a woman alot older than her 35 years. The world i had known was turned upside down and 5 months on im still walking on the ceiling searching for the floor.
I cant remember the fall, before or straight after. My children have said i was a heap on the floor. At the time it seemed i had hurt my back and my elbow. It wasnt till a while after that silly things seemed to happen.
I tried to speak and words wouldnt come out of my mouth. They were there in my brain but something was clinging to them not letting them out. I would get up to walk across the room and stumble with dizziness, my children rushing to catch me. I tried to watch a tv programme and the tv would spin. What was this crazy world i had woken up to?? It got worse. My daughter made a curry. yummy. My favourite food. My neighbour came in. " Wow, that smells delicious karen." ummm. "what" had someone stuffed cotton wool up my nose? Lets check? Nope nothing there. I couldnt smell a thing. Now 5 months later i cant even remember what it should have smelt like. So there i was. dizzy. confused. slurring my speech. no taste and no smell. I was exhausted.
I was such a strong independant woman before. Now simple tasks made me cry. A month ago i remember going under the stairs to get my shoes out. I have 4 children. 2 girls 16 and 7/ 2 boys 14 and 11.. I have been on my own with them now for 7 years. Once ruby was born things turned very bad with her dad. Anyway... back to the shoes.. I couldnt find them becuase my wonderful children had thrown all theirs on top. Right..Time to tidy it all up. I bent over to pick one shoe up. I just stood there looking at this shoe. It wasnt a pretty shoe. It didnt talk or sing. However all i did was stare at it. Then at the shoe rack. I didnt know what to do. Where do i put it? Oh god. Why couldnt i do it? What was wrong with me? I burst into tears. Mot just tears but huge gut wrenching sobs. Before my fall i could get up, organise all the kids in an hour for school. Spend 2 sweaty hours in the gym, dash to work. Dash to the shop. Dash to pick the kids up. Tidy up. Do dinner, Mess about..pop to the pub. Now here i was standing under the stairs with a shoe in my hand sobbing my heart out. I cant remember what happened next. I do remember my son bringing me in from outside. I had been sitting in the rain apparently in floods of tears. My whole body shaking.
So.. can whoever turned my world upside down please put it back again?