i was due to have an operation today, but i was last on the theatre list, then at 7:30 tonight they told me it was cancelled
i had been sitting there since 12 waiting (and sitting, waiting with nothing to do is one of the hardest things i have to do, my brain has to be busy, i am a fidget i kept wheeling up and down the ward, trying to keep my mind busy.
i cannot relax my body is constantly in fight or flight mode just ready to pop when i hear the starters pistol, my mind needs distraction and being kept busy so i don't have time to think.
but anyway i kept my cool when they told me and didn't lose my temper which was quite a feat, but now i just wanna smash something.
being in a wheelchair is hard enough but when one arm is out of use too, then life becomes much harder, as i rely on my arms for transferring and for doing everything
it is 4 months recovery so i have to make arrangements so i can still live my life independently,
so anyway the operation will be next week or maybe the week after (i hope)