So utterly fed up!! If euthanasia was legal i would gladly take it!!

I have had a horrid time in the last 2 years,in 2011 i lost my nephew & Mum within 9 months of each other,i missed the top stair & suffered a lisfranc fracture to my left foot which put my whole spine out of sync due to having to wear an aircast boot for 4 months after having an ORIF (Open reduction internal fixation) procedure.

Anyway my daughter then become desperately ill from an ultra rare disease called Susac Syndrome.I feel like a useless parent because i can not support her the way a Mother should.

I now have a bulging disc,chronic sciatica(because spinal injections didnt work!) I hurt from head to toe!!

Just had bloods done today as my GP suspects i have either fibromyalgia or polymyalgia,i just want answers & the right meds.

My story is a long one,i will get to fill in the gaps one day,for now i cant keep my eyes open,so its off for a kip i go!!

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  • Im so sorry to hear your story the pain and things sent to us can make us feel that way, please dont done anything silly ask gp for referall to rhuematologist and also a counsellor x

  • Hi,

    Things got me to a certain point too, I went to my GP and said if I couldn't have

    anti-depressants or something for anxiety, I was off to Switzerland!

    Medication is a personal choice, it can take a while for referrals to be put in

    place, for me it was the better option. It's helped me become rational, logical again.

    Before, I couldn't see the wood for the trees.

    I've also been to group therapy. This was a womens' self-help association, partly

    charity supported. Very informal and led by a trained counsellor. There were 9

    of us around a table, all with very different basic problems, all requiring help.

    It became incredibly easy to open up in the relaxed atmosphere. We listened to each

    other and gave no criticism, it was very worthwhile. We actually had a good time!

    Obviously, it's necessary to get on top of the physical pain, and control that first if possible.

    Then take steps to get yourself in a good place mentally, help yourself and then you'll feel more confident that you're supporting your daughter.

    Sincerely

    Beryl

  • I think this is how most people would feel, in those circumstances. We all have our times of the worst possible events happening to us, and we never think it will get any better. I know this is how I feel, and it's more often as we get older, where things happen to really test us. You say there is a daughter, and it won't matter how good or bad you might be feeling about your parenting skills, she will love you and want you to stay in her life. When you get the chance, you can always tell her that so she'll always know. And, please go and talk to your GP, as when the doctor can see how badly you're feeling, they will be able to understand and help you. If you're referred for more tests, or have to go for more appointments, it's only to help you, and that's what everyone will want to do for you. The people who are, and who have been, in your life, would want that for you, too. Hope your nap will give you some strength to pick up the phone, and make a call to your Doctor. Take Care.

  • Hi

    The people on this forum are so wise all we have to do is to try to follow what they say.

    I love what tears says about your Daughter loving you and for you to tell her that you love her - brilliant advice and so easy to do.

    Please take the advice about seeing your GP and telling as it is just how you feel.

    I can see how you feel as my wife and I had many a tear over our daughter when she was young and there were thing that we felt we should be able to do as parents but were unable to do.

    Thank god she has grown up to a special human being. So tell her you love her and comfort her as much as possible.

    Take care and kindest regards

    Terry

  • I am so sorry to hear your losses and pain.

    I feel like a useless parent too but it is love you are giving your daughter, the most important thing in life is love no matter what other needs they have. I hope things get better for you and your dear daughter.

    hugs Dawnx

  • Thank you for your comments guys,I'm still fed up even more so since DWP obviously think im lying about my various incapacities.The 3rd time i have been refused & they based the most recent refusal on an ATOS medical i had last July!! They didn't even ask my GP for more up to date info!! I'm tired of it all now,so tired:(

    My GP is great by the way,hes doubled my meds but they are making so tired that im unable to function properly, Anger gets the better of me lately,i have no patience for anything anymore..

    Returning hugs to you all xx

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