I am miserably disappointed coming back home from my trip

[KingkittyS]

for the past couple days it’s been hard to cope with going back home where life isn’t the same in a different country. I am not treated with love and respect by most people. And life is hard even in my own parish. I am rejected by my fellow peers and unwanted, while others were more empowering get all the attention all the time. When I came back, I expected my family to trivia respect and hopefully love me, but guess what I was dead wrong. I try my best to do things to cope with going home like organizing my room, cleaning out my closet, doing chores, doing my piano and listening to YouTube videos. But not have proved successful. I made a list of the things. I’m excited to come back to America. My work, my dad and my friends. But guess what I had work today and it was absolutely horrible. My main advisor was not there and her assistant was there, but she was very strict and mean in the way she talk to me and even her grandson that she brought. I put my foot down and said I do not like the way you’re speaking to me and I am an adult, so please speak to me with respect. . She understood that and we left it at that. I did an amazing job organizing in alphabetical order the books. She needed me for things so she disrespected me. I would have to say you five for your own. And you are on your own. Please do not disturb me. I deeply enjoy organizing in my job, but today proved to be extremely difficult. I came back from Happy and listening to music, but going back home was not a pretty picture. I had to begin piano lessons, and I started with saying that I don’t need to talk about my medicine with my piano teacher because it is strictly business and she has neither a family member or a friend. She understood and we left it at that. I had to tell her that I just came back from vacation and that I have not practice a lot. I tried my best, but I made several mistakes and to my surprise my sister and her boyfriend came and watched me and walked through the door. I was so embarrassed and it was just humiliating. They saw me when I was not even performing well and I just froze. I told my teacher I cannot do it anymore. She said we can resume the next four minutes next time. I left with a bad feeling. I tried my best to do things I love watch funny vines on YouTube and read a book. But I couldn’t help but here my sister and her boyfriend laugh and I’m assuming that they’re talking about me and making fun of me. I snapped and I said I can’t even get peace of my own house. I storm upstairs, and I organize my and try my best to call my anger down. I came down for dinner, and everything was going to swell until my family just kept on, bugging me and pushing my buttons. And I snapped I had a meltdown. I had to tell him how I feel. I did not come all this way from Mexico to be treated badly but my own family members who are super religious. And they’re not even following their own teachings that are taught in the Bible. I said all I asked for is mutual respect and hopefully love. I cried hard. This is what I’ve been feeling today. Can I give me some helpful advice or strategies to deal with this because it’s really hard feel like hell in my own house.

[Lecture]

Hello KingkittyS

I know how it's distressing to be rejected by our own family when we are ill.

The only thing that works for me is to pray to God to help and comfort me.

And the second thing is to speak to my family on the register of I. I feel excluded, I do not find my place in my family, .... what can we do together to make it livable for everyone?

Yours

Lecture

[210272]

Hi KingkittyS

Speaking up for yourself seems to be the first step but if that's not working and being at home is causing you to feel difficult emotions, I'd talk to your primary care advisor about booking you some family therapy. There are good therapists who are aware that family dynamics can change when someone isn't well and they may be able to help you - as a family - come up with strategies which could empower you all.

Best wishes.

[Zozo87]

KingkittyS,

I am so sorry to hear you aren’t being supported by your whole family. Having FND can feel so lonely because most of our symptoms are invisible. You absolutely deserve the respect and support that you need. Your sibling is ignorant to your suffering and hopefully with time they come to understand how difficult it is for you.

It sounds like you have a lot to do, working and piano lessons. I imagine that routine might be adding to your difficulty, but well done for continuing those because you are doing better than I am, you should be proud of your efforts and for standing up for yourself.

You asked for advice. My advice is, though I wish the people around you were more supporting curious and accomodating you cannot change that, Try changing how you communicate with your family. Find a way to express it so they really hear your words. There is a difference in how you communicated at work versus at home (which is normal in families) but think about how calmly you asserted yourself at work. Try that same approach at home. It will help immensely to communicate clearly and calmly because it will preserve your energy and help you get your point across. Also you then can channel your frustration into writing or journaling on your phone or laptop or a notebook. If you have a therapist or counsellor you can talk through it with them too.

Ask your parents to speak to your sibling about how you feel judged by them. To make sure they are aware and can intervene.

I wish for you that you start to feel better.