Given up

Well I officially give up.....38 years old and going round in circles.....October 2015 was told my FSH was 28 and was entering menopause with only a 7% chance of conceiving. I can have IVF but not on the NHS because my partner has a child with his ex wife.....well im afraid I don't have and cant get 5k plus. Then had another FSH test in November which was 14.5 and was offered no further help. After going back to my doctor yesterday was told 14.5 was not menopause but was slightly high. I asked if there was any fertility drugs or anything that can be tried and she didn't know. Told to contact the fertility clinic who did my tests and if I am not still with them I will have to start the process all over again.......unless I have money sat in the bank I will get no help......how unfair when all I want is to grow and nurture a child.

6 Replies

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  • Did you also get things like amh and thyroid tested? I think clinics these days rely less on fsh and more on the amh test as it's more reliable. And if you head over to the infertility network uk forum, there are multiple threads about treatment abroad which can be cheaper. I'm in Ireland and it cost me maybe €5000 but have seen that people have gone to Ukraine, Denmark, Greece....

  • Hi thanks for your reply.....this is half the problem the clinic didn't tell me much because I was so distressed when they told me I only had a 7% chance so I asked my doctor for the results and they don't know them......I am going to try and speak to the clinic again....fingers crossed x

  • I honestly don't know how they can put a % like that on your chances. My fsh was also out of spec but they ignored that result and concentrated on amh and follicle count and the fact my cycles were shortening. I was alarmed by all this but they assured me it wasn't menopause, just meant my egg reserve was low and therefore the eggs I was releasing may not be of best quality every month. By doing IVF, they could see which ones develop best. I am 36, almost 37.

    My amh levels were v low, at 3 pmol/L (should be 22) but my clinic didn't discourage me from trying IVF. They said IVF would be my best shot and not to bother with trying things like IUI. They did say it's got a low success rate, about 33% in First IVF cycle and as my amh was low and few follicles on the scan (another thing to get checked as it complements the amh reading), I wasn't sure if it would work. But here I am at 16 weeks with twins, having had only 2 embryos survive to blastocyst stage. I had 3 natural pregnancies before this that ended on mc, which seems to back up the theory on egg quality. If you go over to that other forum, there is a nurse on there called Diane and she can email you a list of questions you should be asking. Don't lose hope just yet, there are a lot of factors to consider.

  • My GP did that amh test for me once she saw my fsh was low. Request this test, for me it was €50 to do but maybe it's free on nhs. Ask her for thyroid as well, once my thyroid was in check, I started getting pregnant naturally. GP can do both these tests for you.

  • Hi, i am so sorry to read of your struggles. it is so heartbreakingly hard to find the strength to carry on isn't it and makes me so frustrated that the NHS does not do more to help us with treatment and yet we spunk an eye watering amount each year on other things where they could be helping themselves. I heard it was because having a child is not to do with our 'health' but what about our emotional and mental health?

    and the help you do get depends on your postcode with what you get, crazy!

    I knew a lady that went through an early menopause and like you her partner had a child and so they were not entitled to any help. They had IVF treatment with donor eggs in Cyprus as it worked out to be cheaper and also quicker than having it here..maybe worth looking into? I hope that you manage to find a way to continue and that all works out for you x

  • Hi, Karen. Poor thing you are. I'm so sorry you're facing it.

    I'm 34 yo. Diagnosed on fallopian tubes blockage and low egg quality. After some unsuccessful attempts it became clear we cannot conceive with my own eggs. Then we began looking for egg donation programs. This was so unfair from my point of view. I was still young but unable to have biologically related to me child!

    Of course money matter wasn't the last one. Our first inappropriate treatments just loomed lot of it. So, being pressed financially we were to look for the cheaper egg donation programs. Actually we performed de ivf in Ukrainian biotexcom which offered pretty attractive programs for reasonable price.

    I really wish it all depended only on our desire to have children. But unfortunately every treatment demands its sums. No money - no process - a tough truth.

    But at least we can search it somewhere to be less expensive.

    Hug you strongly X

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