IVF on nhs : Me and girlfriend has been... - Fertility Network UK

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IVF on nhs

Wafflebear profile image

Me and girlfriend has been trying for a baby for a few years and can't afford private IVF and we are hoping to go through NHS. I have a child who don't live in this country. We haven't been for any appointments yet just waiting. My girlfriend told me not to say I have a child already but I'm worried they would find out. How do they check that sort of thing do you have to fill out forms? Bit worried about it all. She really wants a baby but I done some checking and for our area it says ivf only in nhs if both of us didn't have previous children. It's hard cause I have children and I know she really wants it and I don't know how to approach this with her.help

11 Replies

I was told “unofficially” the nhs can’t check up from previous children from their relationship so if that was the only thing holding me back (which it wasn’t for me) was basically told to lie. But that’s now up to you if you want to risk it?

Do what feels right to you.

Me, personally, just being honest... if my partner wanted me to lie, I would. If it’s found out then it’s both your problem. Fertility issues need to be tackled with you both on the same side.

It’s a shit situation all round. Decide together

I'd say it depends which country your other child is in. In the electronic age this might be easier to find out definately if they are inside Europe or visit.

Guess they make you pay for treatment if they find out

They would require your written signed consent to make enquiries in another country even if they are in the EU. Our nhs computer systems are not linked to other hospital systems in the EU (not that i am aware and I've never been informed they are) and therefore any enquiries to any foreign authority would require the patients consent to make those enquiries. It is a long process requesting information from EU authorities. Unless they knew where the child/ren live it would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. Also the only other issue would be if the child was born in the UK and is linked to your medical records if you have been reg with the same GP together or you've ever told your GP you have a child, then this would/may be held on your records depending on how well your GP makes notes.

But from the way my referring consultant spoke and my nhs consultant spoke, I'm pretty sure none of them have looked at any of my medical records for history.

I’m not sure whether they can check but I remember we had to fill in forms giving access to a financial audit and permission for medical notes etc xx

I'd get her to apply on her own, that she has a few 'friends' who might act as sperm donor. Single women can have IVF on the NHS. You can legally donate sperm , but you're basically breaking the law if you pretend to have no kids and do this as a couple.

I would echo what Billywhizz says. I know it’s unfair but you would be committing fraud and there has recently been a case where a trust sought damages from a patient who made some fraudulent claims (not IVF).

Also, by not disclosing you have had a child, it may impact your treatment choices and success- you may be a better candidate to carry baby or produce the eggs. If you have an internal examination- the cervix often changes after the delivery of a baby (the opening is normally a bit bigger than someone who hasn’t). Good luck x

It would be blatant fraud.

Plus there’s many on here that couldn’t get nhs treatment and are probably rather peed off to hear what you are contemplating.

I’ve had to go down the privat route due to my nhs funding not coming through in time before I’m 40.

in reply to

I agree. Lots of couples can’t access for a variety of reasons & don’t lie it’s horrible but lying isn’t okay & legal implications could occur by lying its fraud 😒I can’t get nhs funding either ( due to having a child whose now grown up from previous relationship) but we wouldn’t ever lie to get funded. Luckily my mum has offered to loan us the money for a cycle but all we could afford is one.

Good luck ssjcox. xoxo

Hi wafflebear, I am in England and on my second cycle of IVF with NHS funding. My partner has a 6yr old from a previous relationship. The protocol was still the same we both were tested for everything and the fact he has a child made no difference, so I am not sure why it would for you, could you call the governing body for nhs IVF funding and find out if this is true?

If it is true then I can see why she would want to lie and i would give lieing a go but if not then I don't see the point of lieing over something like that as it can only help yourself and your partner get answers quicker.

It’s different criteria in every CCG across England. That’s why it’s referred to as a postcode lottery. So it’s perfectly possible that you could be eligible in one area of England and not another.

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