some days hurt more…

[Uffculmedolly]

after 10 years of TTC and turning 40 in 3 months time, i’ve semi accepted that I’ll never be a mum, but today I found out an old friend had a baby at Christmas and a work colleague told me that’s she pregnant… today it stung and I even had a little cry.. some days it hurts more than others… 🫤

[Beclp]

sending you lots of love ❤️

[Uffculmedolly in reply to Beclp]

thank you xx

[Alwaysbelieving]

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a little cry. Plan to do something nice for yourself and sending lots of love your way xx

[Uffculmedolly in reply to Alwaysbelieving]

thank you for your kind support xx

[Ganges]

I’m so sorry I can really relate. 6 years ttc and I turn 40 next month. So many announcements recently, you have to be kind to yourself. Go and have a cry. I always said I’d be pregnant for my 40th birthday, hoping to be heavily pregnant. That won’t be the case. It’s really hard and rubbish. Unfortunately you're not alone xx

[Uffculmedolly in reply to Ganges]

thank you for your kind support xx

[Ganges in reply to Uffculmedolly]

Feel free to DM if you need a vent! People who aren’t going through it can be sympathetic, but can’t understand xx

[Twiglet2]

sending love 💕 xxx

[Uffculmedolly in reply to Twiglet2]

thank you! Xx

[butterfliez]

I’m so sorry for the journey you have faced , it is so difficult in life when you get others announcing pregnancies & births when you have been battling through . It really does hurt & there are so many emotions involved. It is only natural to feel the way you do.

Sending you strength & know you are not alone in your feelings X

[Uffculmedolly in reply to butterfliez]

thank you so much for your kind support xx

[Eldouble]

I’m so sorry. It is so hard some days - today is one of those days for me too. They seem to come out of nowhere and it’s hard to know what to do to shake it off.

My TTC journey has been much shorter than yours but I too will be turning 40 this year. It feels like such a milestone - I’d hoped I’d have a baby in my 30s… I fell unexpected pregnant without treatment in November after 2x fresh cycles ivf and 1xFET (2x chemicals). It felt like fate as I’d be delivering just before my 40th. But it’s wasn’t to be. Within a week the pregnancy had failed and I came crashing down to earth with a bang.

I ended up going to see a counsellor. It was pretty traumatic to be honest, just so much raw emotion to deal with in an hour. But one of the things she impressed upon me was the fact that 40 really is just a number. You’ll be no different to how you were the week before when you were 39.

Whilst I don’t know your journey and obviously 10 year of TTC must take its toll, don’t feel you have to give up just because of that one scary birthday.

Thinking of you and all of us who are struggling at the moment xx

[Uffculmedolly in reply to Eldouble]

thank you for your kind support.. you’re so right re 39 and 40! Thank you xx

[Banana77]

Thinking of you - some days are harder than others but cry, don’t be too hard on yourself. It is shit but you’ll get through this xx

[Uffculmedolly in reply to Banana77]

thank you so much for your kind support xx

[M_fox]

Don’t give up hope, and don’t let others get you down. Its so hard and No one knows what we go through xxx It’s so easy to say, but I was the same xx My ttc journey is similar, 15 years and eventually tried donor eggs at 47 and we were successful. Still can’t believe it and she’s 5 months old now. Sending you hugs and all the luck xxx

[Uffculmedolly in reply to M_fox]

fabulous! ☺️ This give me hope. Thank you for your support xx

[exhaustedbythesea]

I feel this way every day, so please know you’re not alone. I’m so sorry. ❤️

I’ll be 43 this year, have lost 5 pregnancies throughout this journey including a stillbirth in July and a miscarriage 1 week ago. I can’t even socialize at all anymore. Can’t be on social media. Have to fast forward through any scenes in films or tv depicting pregnancy or childbirth. I can’t even be around my own niece at this point, which breaks my heart.

I am working on accepting this same reality so that I can one day find happiness again and allow myself to enjoy life outside of ttc. I am trying to keep some hope that I will have a living child one day, while also trying to make peace with the possible reality that I won’t.

All that said, I want to offer some hope. I don’t know your individual circumstances, but I never had a successful egg collection round until after I turned 40. I got 5 euploid embryos at 40, miraculously. That was after I had emergency surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy 10 days before my 40th birthday and was sure I would never have a baby. While I haven’t had success yet, my doctors have it down to really bad luck vs anything to do with my age. So don’t give up on yourself just yet.

No one outside of this community really understands how difficult this is, and it’s so lonely. But we do have each other, and I so appreciate all of the words of support I have had from this group over the years. If you ever want or need to talk, please just reach out. Please be compassionate to yourself, just as you would be to any of us, and remember that you are not alone. 💜

[Uffculmedolly in reply to exhaustedbythesea]

Oh gosh, I am so sorry to hear that you’ve had such a challenging journey... it’s really not fair!

thank you so much for your kind support xx

[Music1]

I always told myself I would be pregnant or have a baby by the time I was 40. I met my partner when I was around 35. I finally had my little boy when I was around 44? I stopped counting my age after 40. I did have IVF which failed 3 times and once with mc, until I moved to my second IVF clinic. I was exactly the same.... Wondering why I was getting up for work every day only to hear about others who were pregnant, had children etc. It got to a stage where I couldn't even walk into a supermarket as if I saw someone else with a baby or pram etc and I was with my partner, I would break down in tears. Just letting you know, it can still happen and I'll keep everything crossed for you. Best wishes xx

[AnnieAnnie]

This is so true and I totally understand how you are feeling.

I turn 40 at the end of this year and have been ttc for over 10 years now (I think I'm not going to count any more of these years). In Nov 22 we had a 4th cycle with donor eggs which was another bfn. I think it has been worse due to so much hope of a younger donor and better quality eggs. The crash this time has been hard and with it being around Christmas when we spend so much more time with our 8 nieces and nephews and friends and their children.

My husband and I have agreed that we try and make time to be kind to ourselves and for me particularly to just have me time. It's so hard with birth announcements and seeing other's pregnancy journeys. Although I am extremely happy for others, it's so hard to do it year after year.

Please be kind to yourself and make time for you to heal xx

[Tarasunny]

A friend of time told me she was pregnant today it's her 2nd since I've been trying for one. It's like being stabbed in the heart, all I can think if is what have I done to deserve this, do I not deserve to have kids. Its absolutely heartbreaking and I think our reactions are perfectly valid but it doesn't make it any easier. Work was my safe place now I'm going to have to go in and see a baby bump everyday and start avoiding conversations again, I hate it 😢. When will it be our turn? ❤️❤️❤️❤️