Anxious about the next transfer - trigger warning MC

[Lovemusic1]

Hi everyone, I'm new to posting on the forum but I have been lurking for a while.

A bit of back story - we are having IVF due to male factor and there are no known issues with me. We started IVF last November and ended up with 3 blastocysts graded 5BB, 5AA and 5BB. We had a fresh 5BB transferred which ended in an early miscarriage on new years eve/day. After a couple of months to recover we had our 5AA frozen blast transferred in May. We got to viability scan only to find a sac but no embryo which marked the start of a week from hell where I went to and from the hospital for bloods and scans every other day before they would let me stop my meds and let my body do it's thing (my blood hcg initially wasn't dropping as it should).

Now I am about to start meds for my last transfer from this round and I'm finding it difficult not to be anxious and emotional - and that's before I have the med side effects to deal with! I know this is a natural reaction all things considered but I wondered if anyone had any tips on how to manage it? I'm trying my best to be positive, or at the very least neutral, but it is very difficult. Even my husband has said he has zero hopes for a positive outcome which is very unlike him.

Also, if this transfer fails and we have to go for a 2nd round from scratch, is there anything we should be asking/doing differently? We are NHS funded but would consider paying for some add ons/extra tests if we think it would help. My clinic already did recurrent miscarriage bloods on me and all came back normal.

[Lovemusic1]

I should add that for my 2nd transfer I was on 3 cyclogest pessaries a day and this time they have added prontogest (PIO) in every 3 days on top of that.

[KediT]

I’m fairly new to the whole process,so sorry for your loss. Wishing you well on your journey.

Side effects are the worst mine feel like they kick in almost immediately from the injections.

[Ranchu90]

so sorry for your losses 😔❤️

don't give up hopes yet even if previous 2 transfers failed. I would definitely consider ERA test if you have frozen embryo. Also I would definitely not rush into next transfer without any kind of test of protocol changes especially if you have really bad side effects.

I had 3 chemical pregnancies before doing all the tests under the sun and on 4th transfer we been successful with twins. I am not sure if you would consider PGS testing. Also Chicago tests are highly recommend on recurrent pregnancy loss.

[Lovemusic1 in reply to Ranchu90]

Thank you for your suggestions. They gave me a recurrent miscarriage blood test before we decided to go ahead with this transfer which tests a lot of things (6 vials of blood!) and it came back all fine. This time they have added in more progesterone and are apparently having some good results with Prontogest. Although without having my progesterone tested I have no idea if that is the problem so i'm considering a private blood test before transfer.

We are considering PGS testing. I have not heard of Chicago tests before so i'll look into it.

[Ranchu90 in reply to Lovemusic1]

probably you've been checked for any blood disorders (coagulation, lupus, factor V Leiden etc...) That is good if you don't have any issues, probably will worth to check immunology in case you have any autoimmune issues. Also tiroid gland TSH if haven't checked it before. 🤗😍

[Boo718]

I would consider era test and pgt testing of any future embryos I hope your ok xxx

[Hidden]

Hey, have you had your uterus checked for fibroids, anomalies etc? Might be worth a go. At various stages I have had a hysteroscopy, 3D ultrasound and also an MRI alongside the repeat MC bloods. We were 'unexplained' infertility - not sure why I say 'were' we still are!

I just wanted to say what you are feeling is totally normal, I remember speaking to a nurse at my clinic and explaining how I was feeling going into one of many rounds after a number of losses. All the shine and optimism is taken off IVF by that stage. I asked her for tips etc and she said the normal mindfulness etc, but then she said the reality is we are all scarred after our previous experiences and there isn't a magic fix, that we just have to keep on keeping on taking each day as it comes, and be kind to ourselves and not expect to 'fix' the feelings or even berate ourselves for feeling like we do.. and eventually if we keep doing all of that things should come good for us eventually. Sending you a huge hug, you can do this, one day at a time xx

[Lovemusic1 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your kind words.

I've had scans etc as part of the normal IVF process. Everything is absolutely fine with me. It is clear that my body knows how to get pregnant and I implanted both times but then something goes wrong with the embryo, or it wasn't right to begin with. Who knows. It is right when you say all the shine is taken off thanks to IVF. I definitely wouldn't recommend it as a way of getting pregnant. But here we are xx

[Eloquentia]

I am really sorry about the rough journey you had. Remember, it only takes one embie for the miracle to happen! I am about to embark on a second FET and trying hard to think positive. I have booked myself for a fertility reflexology session, if it helps, I will do more in the run up to the transfer. Also got myself a really nice pair of socks for the day Good luck!

[Lovemusic1 in reply to Eloquentia]

Good luck for your upcoming FET, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Reflexology sounds nice, maybe i'll treat myself to something like that to help keep the nerves at bay. Also, fluffy socks for the win!

[Mom_Njai]

I went for PGS for send embryo post my first FET MC, it turned out to be trisomy so it saved me from another high dosage of hormone injections!