After almost 7 years trying with just one natural chemical, two failed transfers and two frosties waiting for me, i need a pep talk.
My fet is scheduled for around start of December but we've faced so many delays and issues this year I just feel defeated - from covid to chemical and consultant leave and clinic mess ups. We've only managed one collection and one transfer this year and my age (41) is constantly on my mind.
What's gonna be different next time? How and why would it work? I just don't get it. I can't see how I will get lucky. It all feels like a big waste of time and I'm kidding myself. Like I do every month when I convince myself that ive felt a bit different - but it's never different. It's always the same story.
Can someone who relates to trying for so long and not having much to pin hope on please give me a kick up the backside and tell me your positive story.
Love to you all xx
Defeated joey xx
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Joeysjourney
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Hi Joeysjourney, All I can think of is whether you have tried heparin a blood thinner or not?? It should ensure an even blood flow to your womb and its lining, plus help to prevent clot formation. Oh I do hope your next one comes to stay and develop into the baby you have worked so hard for. Diane
Thanks Diane. No haven't tried that but did mention it to my consultant a while back. I had intended just to take a low dose of aspirin myself but might raise it with him again.
He's putting my on probiotics and steroids this time so what's another tablet lol
Hi, We had been trying to get pregnant for 4 years, I’ve had 3 failed Ivf rounds, with 6 transfers that all failed. Was about to start a further round abroad and was advised to take aspirin for a month (low dose) which I did, we also had a short break 2/3 before going abroad to start our 4th round and it was really great, it was booked as a way of relaxing before our 4th round, so I wouldn’t be stressed, it was a great little break. 4 days before our flight I was due to start the ivf injections when I started my period, however my period didn’t come and I was pregnant naturally. I couldn’t believe it after everything we had been through. My little boy is now 4 months old and is perfect. I hope this gives a little hope to you xx
Thanks a mill Tilly, I think I'll proactively take low aspirin in the lead up as my Dr wants to wait till my baseline to talk to me about it but that's too close to transfer! So I'm gonna take it now xx
I just re read your profile and I remember you posting about your pregnancy! Wow its an incredible tale of hope! Glad to hear your baby arrived safe and sound xx
I felt the same through our multiple rounds, transfers, tests, biopsies, surgeries, covid, loss of my dad, loss of my best friend, lockdowns, negative tests, the list goes on.
One time my clinic sent my prescription through and missed off fyremadel so I nearly ovulated the eggs before collection.
So many mess ups that could have been avoided just piling the stress and anxiety on.
And of course each month that ticks by you feel older and less like it’s going to happen.
But I will say this. It can happen. Don’t get hung up on age, there are plenty of people who have babies after 40. It’s not the end!
We finally got our baba after 6 FETs, after 5 years of trying. It was a very long road but im so glad we persevered. I’ve just turned 40.
Thanks for the lovely reply, gosh you went through the ringer too didn't you - so sorry for your struggles, and especially for the loss of your father and friend.
I always feel a bit weak being so upset after just 2 rounds when I hear other people's gruelling journeys. I think it's the 7 years part that is frustrating me so much. I just feel like it's been on my mind and controlling my life for all that time!
Thanks for your encouraging words. I really needed to hear it. Transfer provisionally booked for 29 November so everything will be crossed for that!
Even just TTC naturally is gruelling enough, and 7 years is a huge amount of monthly hopes and disappointments. Then throw ivf in to the mix and it’s just endlessly on your mind.
Like you say, it controls your mind all the time.
I found that doing lots of research in to what could be our next step each time helped to keep me hopeful. There are so many things to try and test so even if it feels hopeless at the moment, there is still time!
I have everything crossed for you xxx
Hi Joey,
I am sorry for all that you are going through. I have been on this journey for “only” three years but I also feel defeated and angry and sad and just so overly pessimistic. Time is not on my side either as I am approaching 40 fast. I absolutely understand your state of mind. You have the right to feel this way. I am sending you lots of love and hugs.
Thanks so much for the reply. It's horrible isn't it. The out of control feeling is awful and yet at the same time, ivf is in total control of my life and every decision I make!
It's hard to stay positive but then I have days where I really do feel like it will all work out! Who knows what's in store!
So sorry your facing similar struggles to me! Sending you a big squeeze and lots of positive vibes xx
Hey! I relate to your journey. We've been TTC for almost 10 years and had 2 fresh cycles of ICSI resulting in 3 transfers (including 1 FET) - and we had a successful pregnancy at our third transfer resulting in a wonderful daughter who is just over three now. I was almost 41 when I had her back in 2019. What really helped us, in addition to a lot of general lifestyle changes, was a naturopathic approach which worked well alongside our fertility treatment. It really made a huge difference to the number of eggs collected, the quality of them, and ultimately I got pregnant which I believe was significantly contributed by naturopathy. Take good care of yourself - you will get there! xxx
My story ended in a natural pregnancy but I just want to come on to say I NEVER thought it would happen for me. Miracles were for other people and I saw plenty of them on my 8 years TTC journey. I did 2 rounds of IVF one miscarriage and one where I had no eggs and we didn't get to transfer. We took a four year break as it was taxing mentally and there was always a reason to postpone treatment a little longer. I'd given up if I'm being honest, after the no eggs, having a low AMH. I had kind of accepted having a childless future but it still caused me pain. After 8 years, approaching 40 thought it was probably done but we were beginning to prepare for one last crack at the IVF whip.
Just as I was about to turn 39 I was staring at a shock bfp. It took me the whole 9 months to get my head around it and I didn't believe we'd get to the finish line til I held her in my arms.
I know this sounds daft but it's worth a try. My whole TTC journey I always said this will never work I'll never have a baby I'll never be a mother. I thought negativity was protecting me. But as we came in to 2021 I decided on a new mindset, I starting saying I WOULD have a baby. After 8 years I'm sure there were a few raised eyebrows behind my back lol but I decided that I was going to have a baby and she'd be a girl. That was in the Jan and in the March I was staring at a bfp, our first natural one in 8 years trying. I'm not saying positivity can cure infertility obviously 😏 but I'm about to start trying for number 2 (I'm 40) and I'm telling everyone I'm going to have another baby girl 😄
Good luck and believe that miracles and happy endings are not just for other people 😊
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It's all over 
Feeling hopeless... 1st failed FET
