A few of you picked me up when I was down four days ago after a progress scan where my follicles were not developing too well. Well I have now had 11 days of stims and I had an increase in stim meds earlier in the week. Went for follow up scan today and I'm just so disappointed with things. My right ovary just isn't responding really, I have a teeny one and one at about 11mm. My left ovary has a 20mm, 16mm and 15mm follicle and two around the 11/12mm mark. I just don't know what to do. They usually push them to 22mm due to my first cycle results (below). My doctor anticipates getting 4 or 5 eggs and thinks we should go to egg collection (Subject to bloods which aren't back yet). My husband does not want to abandon the cycle. I have had mixed results with IVF in the past. My first ever cycle I was the lucky stat of 2% that got no eggs. Two cycles after I was then the 1 in 1500 people with a baby with T18 Edwards Syndrome resulting in TFMR.
My in between cycles yielded 5 or 6 eggs, always with some fertilised and my most recent cycle (only 8 weeks ago) got a PGT-A tested euploid (normal) embryo. How can it be so different now?
Am just so p***** off and fed up and don't know what to do next. Feel like it is just layering trauma upon trauma. Thank you for any support and for listening as usual, don't know what I would do without this forum xx
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Skittles11
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Hi Holly,Try to stay strong the left follicles sound positive.It only takes one good one.
I totally understand your frustration and that trauma upon trauma you know what I’ve been thru too. It’s heavy going thru TFMR and wanting it to be easy after.
Thank you Claire. Your words are so lovely. I am just so tired of all of this. I am sure you can empathise with that. I have lost hope for this cycle and am fearful for the future. Thank you so much for the support xx
I only got two follicles on my first round, one a good size and one a bit small. I felt really devastated by that and just thought there was no hope, but one made it to the 5 day blastocyst stage and it stuck. 39 weeks pregnant today. I totally understand wanting to collect lots of eggs, but sometimes it really does only take one. Definitely go for the collection and I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for you xxx
Hi again skittles. Keep hopeful, there’s definitely potential there. I had 11 follicles, 5 of which they said were good size on their scale (sorry it’s my first ivf and don’t fully understand all the terminology yet). From that they managed to collect 10 eggs. You’ve got this, know you are surrounded by good wishes (even if we are unknown to you), all the best x
Ugh, I’m so sorry this cycle has been extra stressful so far. You have every right to feel frustrated and pissed off. I really wish this was easier for you.
It is good that your consultant thinks you’ll get 4-5 eggs. However, you are in control and if your gut says “cancel”, ultimately it’s up to you. I will say though that egg retrieval is always a leap of faith. You could gets loads of follicles but rubbish eggs or, as I hope so much will happen this time, few eggs but ones that are strong.
I debated what to do and the dilemma is that if I cancelled I'd then wonder if it would have been okay and that was a bad choice...my doctor discussed with another doctor and they both agreed I should go to egg collection. Your doctor is doing my egg collection, I hope it goes okay, I'm feeling crap about it xx
Yes, I think I'd feel the same. It would be hard not to wonder "what if" if you cancelled. Glad my doctor is doing your collection! I always felt in safe hands when she did mine. Will be thinking of you Sunday xxx
I can imagine the stress on the number of follicles growing… I think I had 7 follicles growing but only got 5 eggs. In my case, my expectations were low with regards to numbers because of my low AMH. From that cycle, I only got 2 good embryos… first one didn’t work (I suspect it wasn’t good) and second one has worked and NIPT confirmed no anomalies, which is a relief as my only ever natural pregnancy in my 3 years TTC was terminated due to fetal anomalies. I didn’t test the embryos because I only had 2 and I was advised they could be damaged in the testing. As other said, it only takes one but I do understand your frustration. Good luck and hope you get some embryos you can use!!
My expectations are always low too as I too have low AMH but I put cycle 1 down to being a one off and now I am worried it is repeating. Not much I can do other than wait and see now. Am really pleased you have had success after the horror of TFMR xx
TMFR is horrible… We we’re both truly heartbroken and it meant that this pregnancy we were both very anxious at the start. A lot more relaxed now at 16 weeks but I think fear will come and go throughout the pregnancy too. I truly wish you all the best. This process is very cruel but will keep my fingers crossed for you to get positive results soon. Xxxxxxx
Thank you to all who have been so kind in replying. I got a call from my doctor saying they want to do egg collection on Sunday, I think they are worried I will ovulate early if they don't collect now! The clinic don't normally even open on a Sunday so they are coming in just for my egg collection.
Still feeling so worried but another part of me thinks would I regret it if I cancelled? Would I wonder if these eggs would have been fine and created embryos? Probably.
Do follicles continue to grow after the trigger? I'd love it if they could grow a little more and I could end up with one extra. Maybe I'm being unrealistic to hope though xx
Yes, I definitely think they'll grow that last bit after trigger. That's my experience in most cycles that they gave me one number of good follicles on the scan day, and at collection the number of eggs retrieved was quite better. The exception was my third round, first try for a sibling, where they extracted liquid from I don't know how many follicles only to get four lousy eggs out of which three were too immature to fertilise, and the fourth didn't even survive the first night... Last round I don't remember how many follicles they saw at the scan, but out of 9 follicles they drained at collection day they got five eggs, three of which got fertilised - and one made it to blastocyst. That one has now stuck for 8,5 weeks 🤩 But yes, they continue to grow all the way up to collection day, and I think the trigger boosts it the last hours too.
Thanks Nemo. If the medium size ones could creep up in size I would feel happier. I just won't know now until EC. Thank you for the good luck wishes xx
Skittles11 I just wanted to say that I have been in exactly this position and completely feel your frustrations. One of the main things I struggle with with IVF (apart from the fact it seems to be some rubbish kind of unfair lottery game) is the lack of control. Yes, I can do my injections in the right place and at the right time, I can take my tablets and I can turn up for all my scans when I’m asked to but ultimately, my body is going to do exactly what it wants to do and I have no real control over what is going on in there.Those little follies will do everything they can to give you some eggs and as your gut feeling is telling you to do go with it then you must now just let your body do what it is going to do. If the clinic have pushed for you to go in too then surely they believe there is a good chance you will end up with some good eggs.
I am going to be keeping everything crossed that tomorrow goes well and that you wake up from EC with some happy news. Come on follies!!! 💪🏼🙏🏻🍀💕
Gempuddleduck you are so right and your words really resonated with me. The lack of control is definitely something of significance and when I was thinking of abandoning the cycle and talked to my husband about it I think we agreed that the main factor in that decision would be abandoning would give me back some control. Because the outcomes would be the same if I were to get no eggs in the cycle versus stopping and getting no eggs. There is something massively more distressing about the first scenario though. It does also feel like some sort of unfair lottery system too as you say. I guess it should give me some confidence that the clinic have never mentioned cancelling to me, even after I gave them an opportunity and was visibly upset, my doctor is confident I will get eggs. Thank you for your considerate reply and for keeping everything crossed for me. I definitely need the positive vibes xx
Oh bless you I can quite see why you are feeling so down 😢
As an outsider I think you should keep going with this cycle and go for collection like they advise. In my experience nothing with ivf ever follows the route that you think it will. We always compare rounds but they really are all so individual.. and outcomes vary wildly every time. I know it’s IMPOSSIBLE but I’m going to say it anyway - try not to compare with what happened in other rounds - focus on this one. Don’t bother with thinking positive or anything Like that if you don’t have it in you, just take each day as it comes and keep on keeping on and you just never know what’s round the corner. Huge hugs and heaps of luck xx
Thank you Daisy. You always have the right words to say and I appreciate it. It is so hard not to compare but I know you are right and I think this is the point my doctor was trying to make that each round recruits different follicles and my outcome in cycle one does not mean my outcome this time will be the same. Trigger is done now so I just have to hope for the best xx
I know you feel disappointed with the number of eggs. I also got 0 eggs on my first IVF, then only 1 on the second (which ended in BFN). I did get pregnant after that naturally and it got me thinking that the quantity is just not as important as quality. The problem is - you can't know ahead of time which cycle will lead to the one good egg. I wouldn't abandon the cycle since you already went through the stims. Can you do IUI if estradiol numbers are low indicating only 1 or 2 eggs?
Thank you Marisa. I know you can truly empathise with the distress and frustration that you also must have felt at the time. I know in my heart that quality is the key thing but it doesn't keep the anxiety voice from telling me things are going to go badly! I maybe should have asked about IUI, I think the clinic is shut now to ask, but another component of all of this is we are looking to test any embryos because of our history and IUI wouldn't allow us to do that. We've got a long way to go on low numbers but the clinic still insist that age is on my side (I'm 36). Thank you so much for your thoughts xx
You've been through a lot and it's totally understandable to be - at the very least - fed up and frustrated. My follicles take forever to do anything and my last round I had a grand total of one massive follicle for most of it. My clinic put me under a lot of pressure to cancel which I do get but I was beginning to feel I couldn't take much more. A few more woke up somewhere from day 10 of max stims and by trigger they were probably not too far from your results (apart from the dominant follicle which was a whopper by then) and that with you being around a week ahead of stims. They do seem to grow again after the trigger too. I got five from that round and they all made it to blast (very different to the previous which was double the eggs but only 2 blasts). My clinic also wanted me to cancel my FET as my lining was too thick but if I was fed up before, by the FET I was ready to do the procedure myself if anyone stood in my way. That has given me my little girl so I am a very big believer in the power of being fed up and frustrated, and down right p*ssed off, as a strategy. The what ifs are horrible and comments about wasting rounds and eggs etc are a lot, but I figured if it didn't work, at least it was my decision. If you go ahead tomorrow, best of luck ☘️
Hi, it is really refreshing to learn that you advocated so much for yourself and it was exactly the right choice as it gave you your precious little girl. I am surprised my clinic have not once mentioned cancelling, if anything the discussion on cancelling has come from me, and I guess I ought to be reassured by their confidence. Part of me is but a bigger part is afraid. Thanks for reaching out xx
Hi Skittles, sorry you're having this stress. The way you describe it, 'layering trauma upon trauma' is so fitting. Your left ovary does sound like it has follicles big enough to yield some mature eggs and the 11/12mm ones could still catch up, but your fears of getting more bad luck are completely valid after everything you've been through. Even with low numbers, this could still end up being a good cycle at the very end, but it's impossible to know until you get to that point. I really hope that's the case for you. Sending strength and a big hug. I'm keeping everything crossed for you xx
Thank you Mudra. It was lovely this morning to receive these warm messages, it has been a comfort to me. This cycle has just been a nightmare and I know you'll understand that after significant trauma you just really need things to run a bit more smoothly. That hasn't happened this time round and it has been very challenging. I need to hold on to that hope, which you have said, that even with low numbers this could be a good cycle at the very end. Waiting to see is so bloody difficult though xx
It feels so unfair when things don't run smoothly after you've already had such a hard run of luck. You absolutely deserve for things to go smoothly. The waiting to see is such an anxious time. I think just the anticipation of having to go through it all again is really tough. Each cycle can definitely yield very different results and sometimes the ones you think will be your worst may end up being your best. The next few days will undoubtedly be very stressful, but I'm hoping it's worth the stress and you get good results. Xx
I wish you the best of luck for tomorrow! I know you have heard this multiple times, but it really does take one!! Mine continued to grow a bit after the trigger ( according to my doctor).
Thank you Blueberry. That is good to know that the follicles do continue to grow a bit after the trigger. I also took stims yesterday so clearly they will still be in my bloodstream hopefully doing something useful so fingers crossed xx
Yes, they are still in your blood and will keep on growing a bit more!! Praying for you girl xxx
Hey Skittles, sorry you're having such a tough time!
I was also a poor responder to stims. On my first round I got no eggs either! On my second I only had a few follicles respond can't remember the exact amount but they collected 3 eggs.
I was convinced I was out but I'm currently 26 weeks pregnant from one of those eggs! As cliché as it is, it really only takes one. I would say still go through with this cycle as you have a couple good sized follicles. Really hope you get your golden egg from this cycle ❤️
Thank you Lilly. Stories like this are helpful as it's so hard to imagine it can happen with so few follicles especially after no eggs previously. I appreciate your message xx
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