Hi all, I am 39, 40 in March. I've had 2 missed miscarriages at 6 weeks and 5 chemical pregnancies naturally. Had all the tests, just my age. My first round of ivf failed and my second round I got 2 day 5 blastocysts. Both good quality albeit not tested as on NHS. Transferred the best one and currently 8 weeks pregnant. Had a scan at 7 weeks and baby had very strong heartbeat and measuring about average.
My symptoms are coming and going. I get days where the sickness is really bad and others where I don't feel too bad at all.
Yesterday was a day i felt okay and now I'm freaking out. Consumed with the thought I must be having another missed miscarriage. My partner doesn't want to book in for a private scan as that's how we found out the last time we had a mmc. How do you control your anxiety?
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Legallyblonde39
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Congratulations on your pregnancy. Symptoms will fluctuate. That certainly happened to me. It is a very nervous wait for the 12 week scan. I would say to wait for this unless you are considering the Harmony test privately. It is isn’t cheap but includes a scan and blood test.
Hi Pnw2020, we have been looking at the harmony test and I think we will definitely do it. I know they are pricey but will give peace of mind hopefully X
Congratulations on your pregnancy, I understand what you are going through as I had 3 miscarriages myself all natural pregnancy and after 6 rond of IVF I was pregnant with my daughter I was so scared I would miscarriage again to pee was horror for me what got me through the fear was having scan every week my doctor was very good and he understood my fears and worries so he scan me weekly to put my mind at rest. Try to relax I know is not easy talk to your doctor about your fears and worries and see if they can scan you often. Wishing you all the very best
Hi Sweethear! Wow your doctor sounds amazing and congratulations on your successful pregnancy. Have contacted the early pregnancy unit and hopefully have a scan soon X
Ahh OK, hopefully this is the one 🤞🤞I had barely any symptoms with this pregnancy, no sore boobs. The only thing you can do is wait and hope for the best. Good luck 🤞 x
Hi Legallyblonde. Have you been put on some blood thinners this time? If so. maybe they need reducing in case that is thre cause of the bleeding. Obviously I don't know, but do be brave and get scanned. Thinking of you. Diane
Hi Diane. I'm on progesterone injections. My previous missed miscarriages there was no blood. I'm going to brave it and get a scan at 10 weeks I think X
Hi I am in same position only older than u I’m 43.10 and 8 weeks pregnant… I had a bleed few days ago before my first scan it scared the life out of me but all was ok and the bleed was not from baby or sack they think from cervix as an on progesterone gels…. I had miscarriage last year and several chemicals. I’m completely freaking out with every twinge and pain or if my nausea isn’t bad I think the worst. I’m actually getting myself in a state and have had 2 full nights of migraines with the stress. I have no advice for u only that ur not alone - I’m afraid to pee I’m afraid to cough or sneeze or move 😂…. I’m holding myself so tight I’m gonna pass out. Hugs to u cx
Gemstone78 congratulations! I can understand you will be super anxious with being a wee bit older and the bleeding. Glad everything okay.
The anxiety is unreal. I was up at 4am googling miscarriage percentages last night. Have managed to get another scan from EPU on Tuesday. Fresh anxiety now in anticipation of that appt! X
Hi there, I am in a similar position. I have had 2 missed miscarriages in 2019 (from natural pregnancies) and I am currently 5 weeks pregnant through IVF. I haven't had a scan yet, the only reassurance I had was through the B HCG blood test which has been increasing as normal. However, I am scared of the day I am going to have the first scan and every other scan ( if these occur). We found out both of our mmc through private scans, NHS wouldn't offer me one before 12 weeks. I think it's only natural to have these fears considering our past experiences. In terms of the symptoms coming and going, as others have said that is normal and usually they are associated with growth spurts and hormonal fluctuations. I haven't been particularly symptomatic so far and this made anxious - it's almost like I would prefer to have very bad symptoms just in order to feel calm. I remind myself that it's also normal to feel okay. I try to distract myself with doing other things when I become preoccupied, or I join in this site and read others people's experiences.. the amount of reading I have done these days you can't imagine! Now this can have the opposite effect - it may make your worries worse, so I'd suggest to find what works best for you. I have started some gentle yoga exercises which I have found very helpful. I also remind myself that every pregnancy is different even for the same person. Were your miscarriages investigated further? My thoughts are with you , take care xx
Hi Lagoon. Congratulations on your pregnancy! At 5 weeks I just felt tired. No other symptoms. You should get an early scan at 7 weeks from your ivf clinic. Also after today's anxiety I phoned the early pregnancy unit and have a scan on Tuesday at 12. My natural pregnancy last year was tested and baby had chromosomal abnormalities. Basically old eggs. My embryo that we transferred is not PGT tested as it's nhs treatment. It was graded a 4BA though and was icsi. I'm hoping these elements mean it has a better chance. You are right though keeping your mind active will help the anxiety and time to go by Xx
Hi there, hope everything goes well tomorrow ! There are a lot of views about pgt testing, I chose to not do it. I read an interesting article which I found somewhere in here, if you are interested I can find it and share it. It basically said that many abnormal embryos can self correct in the uterus, there have been some trials in some countries like Italy, transferring “abnormal” looking embryos leading to healthy pregnancies and healthy babies. I ve booked my ultrasound privately for next week. I can’t wait and At the same time I am dreading it. Unfortunately, I can’t be offered an early ultrasound scan through nhs at the moment despite having 2 mcs. I think it has to do with Covid etc.. wish you the best of luck ! X
I don't really have any advice but just wanted you to know you're not alone. For the first half of my pregnancy, I woke every morning and checked my chances of miscarriage on some online calculator. It was so unhealthy but I couldn't help it. It does get better as pregnancy progresses. Stay away from Google and try to enjoy the moment. X
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Just a quick note to say that you should not look for any symptoms etc. Every pregnancy is different and everyone feels different… this is your pregnancy and your symptoms x Stay positive and good luck 🤞
Congratulations 💕 honestly the private scans helped so much and I understand your partner was put off them because of how you found out last time but I think I’d rather know sooner rather than later anyway so not sure I would let that stop me getting the reassurance…. I also listened to the mindful IVF app which helped calm me to realise that there was nothing I could do and I was pregnant for that moment. Still needed the scans though to reassure me. I was the same with symptoms at that that stage as well and felt relief the days I wasn’t sick quickly followed by panic! Wishing you the best of luck for a happy and healthy pregnancy 🤗 xx
Thank-you! We've got an nhs scan on Tuesday so hoping all okay. You would rather know than not. I haven't heard of that app. Will have a wee look. Did you have a successful pregnancy? Xx
Aww good luck for Tuesday! It really helps settle the nerves a bit for a few weeks. Yes last time was successful he’s nearly 9months and we are trying for number 2 with remaining Frosties now 😬🙈 xx
I can totally relate to what you’ve written. I think the anxiety after previous losses is almost impossible to avoid. My husband also felt the same about private scans, after we found out about our MMC at one. To add to the helpful advice offered above I would recommend the book ‘Pregnancy after loss’ by Zoe Clark-Coates. It’s written by someone who has experienced it herself and provides a practical day by day plan and support for each step of your pregnancy which I have been finding quite useful. Wishing you the best of luck lovely xx
I was a bundle of anxiety after two back to back early losses and felt I couldn't trust the BFPs or betas on my third BFP. It looks like progesterone was the issue on my prior two and on this one we changed to vaginal pessaries (rather than rectally) and lubion, plus added aspirin and folate rather than just folic on off chance. May have been those or just chance. I was feeling awful with sickness but each time it went for a few hours or I felt temporarily better I assumed the worst. The only way I could relieve the anxiety was private scans - did 5wks, 7wks, 9... I just wanted to know sooner if something was wrong and each time it helped me relax a bit for the next couple of weeks. Even at my 20 week scan I was holding my breath waiting to be told it was over as I've been bleeding since I came off the meds. My midwives have said I should just see this like any other 'normal, boring' pregnancy and I would love to get into that mindset, but I think years of heartache, tests, treatments all take their toll. It's a shame but you can't worry a baby away (I have tested that!) so even though it's sad not to enjoy this bit like 'normal' women, it's just one small part to take one day at a time, and in the end you will get your baby x
Thanks MrsOrangejuice. They've given me lubion injections this time. Part of me is trying to rationalise things by thinking it's a good grade embryo with icsi, my lining looked good. The nurse was very reassuring at 7 week scan but then I get into the dark place again. Got another scan on Tuesday at 12 and booked an appt with my fertility therapist for later that day. Just going to have to do deal with whatever comes up. Day at a time. Congratulations on your pregnancy! Xx
Hello - sorry to crash this thread, but I was really interested in what you said about changing progesterone from rectally to vaginally - was this with the same type but taken differently? (e.g. Cyclogest) or did you switch to a different type? I’m currently on Utrogestan from the IVF clinic. The obstetrician I saw said he is happy to prescribe more progesterone beyond 12 weeks but only has experience if prescribing Cyclogest to prevent miscarriage, so I’d have to switch to that. I’ve only previously had that rectally but wondering if taking it vaginally would be better? Many thanks x
Switched from cyclogest rectally to ultrogestan vaginally thanks to some very helpful advice on here about it being potentially better absorbed vaginally and getting to where it's needed - my blood levels were sky high on cyclogest rectally but I had two early losses, and spotting on one. Also I have had all the hallmarks of progesterone resistance/oestrogen dominance for years (spotting before periods in particular) and there's evidence taking them vaginally is better for that. I think a lot of women are on cyclogest and absolutely fine either way, but I believe they can be taken vaginally. The NICE guidelines have been recently changed to recommend vaginal progesterone where there's a risk and my clinic were happy to put me back on them after 12 weeks as I had started spotted/bleeding after coming off them. Maybe check with your clinic and GP (can also prescribe) if they think there's any difference between cyclogest and ultrogestan - suspect not and it's more about the route, but anyway if you've been ok on them so far rectally, it may not make a difference either way and more about getting the extra support in whatever form. You could always try them vaginally and see how you get on - some women find they can be more messy and irritate that way, but for me it was manageable. Best of luck x
Thanks - I am a bit worried about Cyclogest being irritating vaginally. I might try my GP to see if they would give me a bit extra Utrogestan to get me to 16 weeks - otherwise I might just have to try Cyclogest vaginally first and see x
I took cyclogest both ways as suggested by my clinic. If I take in vaginally only it irritates my bits so much! I could literally sit and scratch myslef all day and nothing helps! So I alternate between two.
I was on Utrogestan and worried about them irritating as I have had a lot of problems with vaginitis (mainly not caused by thrush or BV, although have had thrush a couple of times) over the years. I found Utrogestan were fine, not tried Cyclogest vaginally. Utrogestan are smaller and, from what I understand of others' experiences, far less messy than Cyclogest used vaginally, so if you wanted to use vaginally maybe see if you can get some Utrogestan instead. xx
I am in a very similar position now but only 5+3. These two weeks are dragging until my first scan. I keep checking my liner for spotting as bled around this time last time and about another weeks time the first miscarriage.
So hard not to worry but don’t want to feel like I’m just waiting to miscarry either. X
Yeah I can totally understand your anxiety with yours being missed. I had SCH with both of mine and bled a lot. I am on clexane and steroids this time so hoping that’s making the different and all will be well. Good luck in your pregnancy moving forward. You have made your girls milestone that’s amazing and so promising x
Congratulations!!! That’s amazing! Wow it’s really hard especially since you’ve been through a lot. I know what you mean but the fact you’ve been sick at all decreases your chance of miscarriage. It’s a statistic. It’s normal to have days where you feel okay and days where you feel sick. I have to admit I was also anxious until I got to the 12 week scan and would be checking my breasts were tender all the way. Have you done any mindfulness as a way to calm yourself? I know it’s hard but I don’t know what to suggest and agree it’s not conducive to keep having scans. I also know how long this 4 weeks will seem. Good luck 🤞 and I’m sure you’ll be fine ❤️
You got this 💪 I was similar as I also suffered previous mc - I had no sickness with that one so that’s why this felt different and seemingly the same for you too - I sought out all sorts of statistics and they basically said if you have any sickness vs none your chances of mc decrease whatever - it’s statistics so obviously not always right and of course loads of ladies suffer no sickness and have very healthy babies but these stats gave me some comfort. Hang in there!
I’m really happy for you. I’m in a very similar position to but not pregnant right now. Two MMC in 2019 and 2020, also a late MC in 2014. When I was pregnant naturally in 2020 I was a huge ball of anxiety. I thought about nothing else all day. It’s awful. I had no symptoms either really. I havent on any of my pregnancies and that worries me no end. I’d rather I was throwing up every day so at least I knew things were still happening down there. I go under the care of the preterm clinic because of the late MC, and I’ve found out at this 8-9 weeks viability scan each time I’ve miscarried two weeks previously. No symptoms, no bleeding, just an “I’m sorry”. So these scans petrify me to the point I’m shaking in the waiting room.I’m going for IVF now and I know I’ll be the same then. I’m hoping tho I can get some counselling through the fertility clinic, have you been offered that? I think I’ll find that very helpful because they will understand exactly why you feel the way you do. You should be offered reassurance scans too I would have thought. I wrote down all my milestones and just ticked them off one by one, day by day. I think that’s all you can do whilst hoping for the best and, as everyone else says, each pregnancy is different so hoping this is the one.Wishing you all the luck in the world with this. Be kind to yourself and know that how you’re thinking is how the majority of us think on here when we find out we’re expecting. You can do this 💪🏻 X
Thanks COH1981. So sorry to hear of your miscarriages and best of luck with the ivf. I spoke to the early pregnancy unit yesterday and have a scan on Tuesday. If all goes well then I'll ask for another one before 12 weeks. I had counselling at nhs but actually found a really good private therapist. My dad died in October last year so I couldn't face speaking to her but I have made an appt for Tuesday night so no matter what happens I feel supported. Wishing you the best of luck too Xx
Congratulations!!! I was the same as you, I was so anxious after previous losses. The harmony test is quite good although I did get some bad news and had to terminate at 12 weeks but that was rate. It worked the last time and all was well and baby was born last year. I know it's hard but what helped me was positive thinking. Wishing you all the best and a very easy pregnancy 😊
**Update** had abdominal scan yesterday and all is well. Baby is 2.5 the size it was 11 days ago and heartbeat present. Still not out of the woods yet but implementing some of the helpful strategies/advice you lovely ladies provided. Thank-you!
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