Miscarriage management help!!

[gilk]

Hi everyone, was hoping I wouldn't ever have to post something like this however here I am... I am currently 12 weeks and should be over the moon but on our 8 week scan we found out that both babies had stopped growing and that we could expect to miscarry at any time. Its now been 4 weeks since that time with no sign of the miscarriage. I've been told that if nothing happens by this friday to go to my early pregnancy clinic for miscarriage management. When they said this though, they also said to try and wait for it to happen naturally as the processes can damage your insides and the lining which would effect future attempts. Obviously this scared the s*** out of me. So my question is really, has anyone ever dealt with this and had to have miscarriage management? Half of me wants to wait for it to happen naturally, and the other half kills me everyday knowing there's two dead things inside me that were the most wanted things in the entire world 😩.

Any advise is extremely welcome please 🙏 xxxx

[Hidden]

Omg you poor thing, I can't imagine having to wait that long! It killed me knowing mine was dead inside me for a few days.... I had a D&C after my missed misscarriage..... I didn't have any complications and was told everything would be fine regarding concieving again.... My lining is fine now, I'm not sure if the procedure blocked my tubes though, as I had an ectopic and found out I had a blocked tube after, which was obviously fine before as I have a 4 year old and concieved the one i lost fine too, people have D&C's all the time with no issues though xxxx

[jupiter1234]

I've had a medicated management as my miscarriage never happened naturally first of all I took the tablets but they didn't work so ended up having d and c. I've had no complications x

[Hidden]

I'm sorry to hear that. With a d and c they put you to sleep and do an operation and when you wake up it's over and it's not as messy as waiting for things to come out naturally where you take tablets at home as the d and c is over quite quickly.

My view is ask for the d and c procedure rather than having it drag on.

It's so cruel though when one minute you are pregnant and next you are not.

[hannahding]

I am extremely sorry. This must be so heartbreaking for you. My advice to you would be to go for D and C. This is because the more you drag the more difficult it will get. Just get things done now. I have heard they make you go unconscious before they carry the process out. I know its not an easy thing to go through but just be strong. I hope things go smoothly. Stay strong!

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry 😪 I had a blighted ovum didn’t find til 12 weeks so was inside for 6 weeks without my body recognising it. My next took 4 weeks before recognising it. I did pass naturally but had a bit trouble with the last one and they gave me medical management but nothing happened I didn’t really need it I was fine.

[AJJ123]

I had the same thing happen at 7 weeks at the end of October.

Thankfully that weekend I started spotting but they did mention giving me tablets if it didn’t start instead of the D&C as that’s a last resort. Have they mentioned this to you?

I also had two embryos that stopped growing at around 5 weeks so I know how you feel. This was a very much longed for pregnancy.

I’m sorry your going through this, but it’s not quite the end for me and I’m sure with the right support it won’t be for you either.

Xx

[Snez84]

I’m so sorry to hear what’s happened. We went through a similar thing a couple of weeks ago. There was a heart beat at 7 weeks which had stopped by 10 weeks. It’s heartbreaking isn’t it and there are no words of comfort.

We opted for the D&C and although I haven’t had a period yet, all seems ok. It was definitely the right decision for us although I know everyone is different. We found the nursing staff to be so compassionate and the procedure wasn’t half as bad as I thought.

Just know that whatever decision you make, it’ll be the right one for you Xxx

[Mantaray75]

Sorry to hear you're going through this.

I had a D&C a couple of years ago as I had severe pain and heavy bleeding with my miscarriage. There were no complications with this and there is no reason why it should cause damage. I was very relieved to have things quickly sorted.

I'm currently 21 weeks so it hasn't affected my ability to get pregnant again.

x

[Hidden in reply to Mantaray75]

Best of luck with your pregnancy!

[Tugsgirl]

As it’s been 4 weeks already it’s probable that they’ll want to get things moving. I had a D and C last year and then later in the year I had medical management too. I think the risk of scaring from a D and C is actually very low... I’m really really sorry for your losses 😞 xx

[vic77]

Oh hunny I am so so sorry for your loss. we went for our 12 week scan in April to be told there was no heartbeat and I can honestly say my world fell apart that day so I know the pain you are experiencing. as for management I went for medical management as I could not cope psychologically passing my baby.I have had no complications with the surgery and I think these are rare. can you speak to someone even maybe call miscarriage association and ask their advice? sending you much love xxx

[EmJen]

I am so sorry for your loss. We heard the same news at our 8 week scan and it is so shocking and heartbreaking. Just so completely unfathomable to happen when you’ve waited so long and wanted it so much. We opted for the MVA which is less invasive than the D&C as I already have lining issues and didn’t want to take any risks. They give you tablets to take on the way to the early pregnancy unit, and by the time I got there everything had started to come away anyway, so we ended up having it basically medically managed but in the hospital. The nursing team were incredible, but it is a difficult process. Sending you a lot of love and strength at what I know must feel like the end of world right now. The darkness will begin to roll back, and you will get through this 💛💪xxxxxxx

[Hidden]

Yes, exactly this and I’m sorry you are also experiencing this. I was pregnant with twins from our first ICSI attempt, much longed for after over 2 years of trying. Scan at 7&2 all good, midwife sent me for an extra scan due to my anxiety and they had stopped growing, no heartbeats. Was given the 3 options and chose medical management because emotionally I needed it all to be over. It was quite traumatic and very very painful (worse than labour for me!) The drugs didn’t work as they should and I needed multiple doses and have since been in for IV antibiotics as the process was not complete. Personally if faced with this decision again I would choose d&c. Good luck with whatever you decide, sending love xx

[Justus1]

After I found out that our little ones heartbeat had stopped we have to wait a week just to get a go appointment. It was so hard having to keep remind myself I was no longer pregnant!! We then after a week went for a d& c and it was the best thing for me. It finally made it end for me physically and then I could concentrate on the emotional pain xx

[MrsDornan]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. The exact same thing happened to me almost 2 years ago. I tried to let it happen naturally but it didn’t. I was then offered methotrexate which is the tablet, took it two times and it didn’t work so my last resort was d&c. No one told me about lining issues. I had to have two D&Cs as they don’t use a camera. after both procedures my period didn’t come back and after months of docs visits and then self referring I was diagnosed with Asherman’s syndrome which is scarring of the endometriosis. I’ve since had two ops and a round of ivf and nothing. Please if you can avoid the d&c...people are not fully aware of the implications and how it can cause infertility. Yes it’s a quicker option but believe me had I known I would have tried the meds again or gone privately for a d&c where they use a camera and therefore can see what they’re doing x

[Georgiarobynuk]

First of all I’m so so sorry you are going through this. I had the same experience with my second IVF. At 8 week scan my little baby stopped growing, I tried to wait for the miscarriage to happen naturally however I got to where I should of been 15 weeks pregnant and I could no longer do it. I went to hospital for medical help and they gave me tables and I went home to wait. Unfortunately for me I had a very bad experience with medical management and actually lost a lot of blood and was rushed to hospital. However after a break and some time to heal I had a little boy with my 3rd IVF. you need to trust your gut and do what you need to do. Also if you do have medical assistance and there’s an option to stay in hospital while this happens I would do that just incase you need them to help. Sending so much love to you right now ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[glt01]

I've never heard anyone be told that by having a D and C will affect their future linings and their chances to get pregnant and I've worked on surgery where ladies have had these done and no Doctor has ever said that to any of my patients! There is a slight risk of scarring but that is very minimal, they're so careful now. They can try medication first but if that doesn't work you will need surgery. Such an awful thing to go through and hoping you are bearing up as well as can be, do allow yourself time to grieve, this is a big thing.x

[AJJ123 in reply to glt01]

I’ve heard of it x

[Dunla]

Oh I am so sorry you’re going through this. I haven’t personal experience of miscarriage but my sister miscarried a couple of years ago at 13 weeks. She ended up having to wait for it to happen naturally and I know how hard it was for her. If you’re in a lot of distress I’d go back to clinic sooner. Thinking of you at this difficult time and sending lots of love xx

[gilk]

Thank you for all of your comments, it's really helped me make a decision. We have made an appt with the hospital for Monday morning so if nothing happens between now and then I will deal with it Monday 💪 I think I may have a break down but I know we can deal with this. Thanks again all of you! So grateful for this forum sometimes!!! Sending love to everyone xxx

[EmmaFoster1]

Hey there! I feel so bad for you hon. I advise you to go for D and C. If you keep on waiting for more, it will get worse trust me. It has to be done, so why not now? I know it's a hard thing to do but you have to keep fighting. Stay blessed!

[LeonaJordan]

Hi! I hope you are feeling better now. You should go for D&C. That will be able to help you. I know that this is so hard for you, but you can't waste any more time here. We are all with you. Stay blessed.