Pregnancy loss: So after four years of... - Fertility Network UK

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Pregnancy loss

Navyblue97 profile image
44 Replies

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So after four years of trying with no luck. We finally fell pregnant in June!

It was the happiest day of my life I cried tears of joy for days thinking about me being a mum.

I had an early scan at 6weeks and saw a heartbeat so thought everything was going well.

Had my 12 weeks NHS scan today and baby was measuring at 8 weeks with no heartbeat.

I feel like my whole life and world is shattered. I can’t even explain or describe this feeling.

I had no bleeding and no symptoms of loss so it was even more of a shock.

First photo was 6 week scan and second was today. I can even see the head and arms. Im so heartbroken I just feel like I needed to let my feelings out.

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Navyblue97 profile image
Navyblue97
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44 Replies
Nevergiveup21 profile image
Nevergiveup21

God I’m so so sorry. Life can be so unfair 💔💔💔sending you the biggest hug and all the love in the world xxxxxxx

I'm so so sorry Navyblue97 - this happened to me in May this year. It measured 8 weeks at the 9 week scan with no heartbeat 💔 I had no idea, hcg was still high and no indication at all that I had lost the baby 💔ended up being a chromosome issue - trisomy 15. Hope you're ok, thinking of you xxxx x 💜

COH1981 profile image
COH1981

You poor thing, sending big hugs. Similar situation to me. Had a scan at 10 weeks, it was only 8 weeks in size. No symptoms, no bleeding, didn’t suspect a thing. Missed miscarriages are like an awful trick your body plays on you. I doubted everything after that point and still do now. I feel let down by my body and angry at myself. I dont really get pregnancy symptoms anyway so I was none the wiser that anything had changed (been pregnant twice and no baby to show for it) I hope they can help you quickly. I was lucky that my hospital had me in the next morning to help nature along so I didn’t have too much time to wind myself up about it.

If I can make one suggestion, take the time to heal. I went back to work after 10days and I wish I hadn’t, I wish I’d have taken my time. Thinking of you at this tough time x

Navyblue97 profile image
Navyblue97 in reply to COH1981

I feel like missed miscarriages are even worse. Your body just going on making u think the pregnancy is progressing and well omlt to have everything shattered.

I feel like I need forever to move on from this I keep crying and trying to understand why and what happened in those two weeks of seeing a heartbeat. I’m so sorry to hear you’ve also been through this. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone xx

COH1981 profile image
COH1981 in reply to Navyblue97

They really are. And it’s not something really talked about either. I was like “wtf?! I haven’t had a bleed! Everything is fine!” Except it’s not. It’s like the shock is indescribable…..I don’t really remember walking out of there to the car. I didn’t even cry til I got home, I just couldn’t believe it. I just kept thinking “what the hell did I do wrong?” It took me a while to get my head around the reality was, I did nothing wrong, it’s just that little baby was probably not going to develop properly 😢

Wishing you well Navyblue97 x

Navyblue97 profile image
Navyblue97 in reply to COH1981

That was exactly my reaction!! how I’m not bleeding and still have symptoms. I feel so betrayed. I still keep thinking if I did do anything wrong but I guess I’ll never know. You as well thank u so much xx

ToughCOOKIE78 profile image
ToughCOOKIE78 in reply to Navyblue97

I’ve been there hun 💔it’s SO UNFAIR. Please know you did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG! It’s most likely a chromosomal issue, where the body recognises the embryo as incapable of living and discards it. Sending love to you ❤️Look after yourself hun xxx

Lenz56 profile image
Lenz56 in reply to Navyblue97

You didnt do anything wrong at all. Please dont think that. Same thing happened to me. What helped a little was getting the baby tested to see whether there were chromosomal issues which came back positive for trisomy. I also had therapy too. If youre able to do that, it may help. Be kind to yourself

COAGMS profile image
COAGMS

This happened to us last year our baby stopped growing at 8 1/2 weeks but we didn’t discover the loss until the 12 week NHS scan. It was like a cruel joke but we only had tears and no one was laughing.

Fast forward 15 months and we are 19 weeks pregnant with twins. I know we’re not out of the woods until we have both of our babies in our arms, but I hope that you have a happy ending after this heartache. Sending you all my love and strength, god willing you will have a successful pregnancy next time xx

Navyblue97 profile image
Navyblue97 in reply to COAGMS

It’s just so awful. Thinking everything is fine to only find out it’s not. Something that was supposed to be so special turned into the worst day of my life.

I hope all goes well with the rest of your pregnancy ♥️

Sammy246 profile image
Sammy246

I'm so sorry to read about your loss. Lifes so cruel to give us our dream only to take it away. I hope you have a good support system to help you . Big hug xx

Navyblue97 profile image
Navyblue97 in reply to Sammy246

Thank you for your kind words x

lou12208 profile image
lou12208

So unfair! Im really sorry for your loss. Take your time in making decisions. Be kind to yourself! Thinking of you lovely. xx

Navyblue97 profile image
Navyblue97 in reply to lou12208

Thank u for your kind words ♥️

This has happened to me 3 times missed mc finding out at 12w last one abit earlier as I asked for a scan at nearly 9w. It’s horrible the worst emotional experience I’ve had to be told there’s no heartbeat baby has stopped growing or Blighted when you think everything is going ok.

Even now after having my baby he’s 14w (took us 4 yrs to get him) it’s still there the feeling of sadness when I think about what we went through. I’m so sorry it’s happened to you and your going through this.

Navyblue97 profile image
Navyblue97 in reply to

Hearing that u have your miracle baby has made me smile! 😭♥️ it’s just such an awful thing to go through. No warning signs nothing. Going into the scan thinking can’t wait to see my little one. Only to be told there isn’t really anything there. Thank you for your message x

Jess1981 profile image
Jess1981

I am so sorry for your loss this happened to me at my 20 weeks scan last November shock doesn't even come close. I also had no sign my daughter had just died. It is the worst when it's so unexpected. The shock of it is reeling. But with time it will get a bit easier, right how it's one day at a time. Hope you have lots of support to help you through this loss Xx

Navyblue97 profile image
Navyblue97 in reply to Jess1981

Oh my, 20 week scan! I imagine that’s even worse than this! I’m so sorry you went through that. I think that’s the main thing. The shock of it all, your body still giving you the pregnancy hormones and making u think all is well. Going to the scan to only be told your baby’s heart has stopped beating ‘how’ ‘why’ is all I could think🥺

RhinoCat profile image
RhinoCat

I know this pain 😢 please take time to process and heal . You will feel shattered for a while…..

Try to find a way to mark the Wee pets memory for you. A personalised candle, piece of jewellery that you know remembers them or whatever you need when you know it. These days are the worst but the ache and pain will ease in time 😭😘😘😘😘💐💐💐💐 tightest hugs. You are not alone 😘😘😘😘💐💐💐💐

LiveandLetLive42 profile image
LiveandLetLive42

I am SO sorry for your loss. I know there is so much pain right now. I had a miscarriage last July and it was awful. I also got to hear the heartbeat and was getting so excited. I had no symptoms of losing the baby until we went for an ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. I am just so sorry. We're all here for you!! X

Jess1981 profile image
Jess1981

It is an awful shock whenever it happens if you no sign of it being wrong it's a massive shock. Then there is the physical side to an incomplete miscarriage to get your head around as the body hasn't done it ( I had to birth my daughter Amelia knowing she was dead as it was way passed the point of a D & C 🥲) I didn't at first believe the sonographer kept saying they were wrong but when it hit me I kept saying " she's my baby and I love her" over and over. I still miss her everyday always will. Luckily we have our toddler Francesca after a 7 year struggle to have kept going for, I'm 15 weeks following Amelia and 2 early miscarriages and I'm such a nervous wreck, I had some spotting today after a bad bowel movement and have a scan tomorrow midwives have been very accommodating ( I really hate scans after losing Amelia) but nerves are so bad as I had my second Covid vaccination ( had first one a week before we conceived) even tho my obstetrician advised it ( who was our miscarriage specialist) I've been worried since having it done ( even tho I did it to protect us ) Xx

in reply to Jess1981

Hi Jess1981 I had a spotting after a bowel movement too at 14 weeks and baby was fine. My doctor said that sometimes that happened. My cervix was bleeding a little because I had a bad constipation. Good luck to you and hoping all is well with you and the baby.

Jess1981 profile image
Jess1981 in reply to

Thank you. The scan showed baby is fine and no obvious reason for the spotting. 😅 I think the spotting is more in pregnancy than you think it is, but we always think the worse! I'm sorry that also happened to you it is very worrying hope all is going well Xx

try2020 profile image
try2020

I am so sorry 😪

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

I'm so sorry, no words will help but you're not alone!!xxx

Sweethear profile image
Sweethear

Am so sorry for your loss

XOXO13 profile image
XOXO13

Ow I’m so sorry lovely. This happened to me last year, finding out at my twelve week scan that baby didn’t have a heartbeat completely broke me. I had all positive signs that everything was well and so I couldn’t understand or process how my body had let me down. It took me a long time to heal from it, to grieve for our loss. I named our baby and my mum bought me a necklace with the name we’d chosen engraved on the back - I wear it everyday. I also framed the photo of me and my husband holding the pregnancy test as it was our first positive and it reminds me of how happy we were when we found out … try to cherish those moments.

There’s a book named Saying Goodbye by Zoe Clare Coats, and that really helped me each day to process our loss and what I was feeling.

Sending you big hugs ♥️ Xx

Squareark profile image
Squareark

I'm so so so sorry. Sending you a huge hug.

DOCIreland profile image
DOCIreland

Sorry doesn't seem to cover it💔 , when you have lost something so precious . Thinking of you. Xx

Peanutchips profile image
Peanutchips

Hi lovely, this happened to me as well. Tried for 2.5 years and finally got pregnant only to find out it was blighted at the first scan. Absolutely heartbreaking, happiness balloon burst. Please know you’re not alone and there is still hope. It was most likely caused by a chromosomally abnormal embryo and no reason why your next pregnancy won’t work out well. I now have twins after my next cycle of IVF following my miscarriage xxx

NewMom1982 profile image
NewMom1982

Awww I’m sooo sorry for you lost. I lost my son around 12 weeks. So I can relate with seeing the little hands and head. I’m sorry😭😔

Andysa profile image
Andysa

Hey dear, I was on the same journey as you. I also had high progesterone but luckily got the successful transfer. I moved to Ukraine for my journey. One day I came to know from my clinic that my progesterone level is too high. Excess progesterone is not only harmful for mouse implantation but also impairs mouse decasualization. I am really sorry to hear this . I just want to share my positive story to give you the positive waves. We were trying for a baby for about 2 years when I scheduled my first appointment with the fertility clinic in London. I was 36 at the time of the appointment. At that time my private insurance through work covered IVF, so I went to supposedly one of the best - The Portland Hospital. They scheduled a range of the tests for me and eventually diagnosed me as "unexplained" infertility. Quite frankly I found the specialist rather impersonal and cold, he made myself feel guilty for everything: too overweight and too old. His verdict - IVF immediately. But then a huge shock - my employer amended the insurance terms so that infertility treatments are not covered. UK costs were unbearable while most of the options abroad required extensive travel, and that with my work was not possible. Just by chance I found a Ukraine clinic, we were required to travel only for the procedure itself for 3-5 days. At first I was somewhat reluctant to go with the clinic without any reviews or recommendations. But what convinced me, was the fact that after they've done all my tests, they discovered 3 fibroids, one of which was in the implantation area. All the doctors here and there are really supportive. The surgeon in Ukraine even gave me her personal mobile to call after the procedure if any pain etc overnight. Also, during the procedure, my husband's sperm didn't work out well this time, so we had to supplement IVF with icsi. During my attempt, I've only got two embryos - one of the highest quality and one of lesser. They put in both of them - and both worked . Hope you all will get these coveted two pink lines on your tests soon! Just believe and pray!

I am so sorry. There are literally no words. Last summer we also had a missed miscarriage and similarly to you no signs or symptoms anything was wrong. I’m so devastated for you, the pain is immeasurable. Everyone is different and every loss is different, but definitely take what time you need. I ended up taking 3 months off work (it took a further 4 weeks to pass the baby in the hospital under medical management and then I needed some time to try and process it all) get some counselling if you can through the clinic or privately - that was my life saver. It’s the worst pain in the world and I’m so sorry you’re going through it right now. Thinking of you xx

gerifit profile image
gerifit

Sending so much love to you. I’ve just been through something similar, it’s totally heartbreaking. Be kind to yourself lovely and let yourself grieve. Life is super unfair sometimes. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Xxxx

Fairsy2021 profile image
Fairsy2021

I just wanted to say SORRY too. How life can be so cruel, I just don’t understand it. I had the same missed miscarriage this year, at 9 weeks after Me donating eggs and then doing IVF. It took 3 weeks to get from knowing they’d died when we went in for the scan, to them leaving my body. I decided against the surgical management (although that looked quicker) and went for medical management in the end, as I had chosen to wait for nature to take its course, and that just never happened. My baby finally left my body - over Mother’s Day weekend- an even crueler joke. All I can say, is allow all the tears - as there are so many of them. And defo do those little things like get a piece of jewellery or a special plant etc. I buried my pregnancy sac under a spring flowering perennial and know I will see it flower next year 💕 . Now I’m in counselling and I am passing all those days that “should of been” - we were due in October and I’m dreading the whole month. One things is, I’m glad we got to have our little one, even just for those few months. We have a 9year old from IVF and we’ve been waiting ever since for a sibling, we are now daring to try again, but I’m wounded by this side of it, I now carry fear too, but let’s hope we all get our happiness soon. Please don’t bully yourself, you must be kind- you’re going through enough. Sending lots of love at this dark time. You’re now part of the worlds worst gang and we are all here for you. There’s so many of us, and that in itself is heartbreaking too. So many lost babies and futures 😢. Xx

Sparklylife profile image
Sparklylife

I am so so sorry for you loss 💔

gianna83 profile image
gianna83

I can totally understand how you feel.We got pregnant naturally 2 months before starting ivf.I was over the moon.At ten weeks,there was no heartbeat,nothing.A d&c followed.I was a mess.9 months later i did ivf and on the third frozen embryo transfer,i got pregnant.My son is almost 7 months old.It is so unfair,though.If things were right in the world,every BFP would mean a healthy baby.

andromedae9 profile image
andromedae9

I'm so very sorry for your loss ❤️

Cillia profile image
Cillia

I'm so sorry.... . Sending you lots of ❤

ki50 profile image
ki50

I am so sorry for your loss :( I found out on the day of my viability scan just over a month ago that they couldn't find the embryo even though I my body still thought it was pregnant.. I was devastated, especially having had that hope and joy for such a short time then it being snatched away in an instant so I can relate to the pain you're going through 😔 It really is heartbreaking and I truly feel for you xx

Fizzbip profile image
Fizzbip

This exact same thing just happened to me :( . It was my last chance to use my own eggs too. 7 weeks everything was ok, 9 weeks no more heartbeat/development. I just had the miscarriage a few days ago. I am so sorry you are going through this.

Daffodils140 profile image
Daffodils140

I’m so sorry, how desperately sad xx

I am very sorry about your loss. I being trough this situation 4 times with miscarriages ending between 6 to 8 weeks and stillborn twin babies. I know how hard it is and will like to send virtual hugs. I am very sorry about your precious baby. No words that I will say will make you feel better. So just take it easy, cried, be mad and give yourself time to heal. Again I am very sorry for the life that has ended and for the pain that you are suffering.

sunset212 profile image
sunset212

I’m so sorry i had a loss of this type of early miscarriage at 7 weeks 3 years ago. No bleeding no signs anything had happened. Baby was measuring 6 weeks and I was 7.5 weeks at scan no heartbeat. Was told before 8 weeks these types are very common 1 in 4 women lose a pregnancy in these early weeks and it’s nature’s way of stopping development that won’t survive the outside world. You need time to process and grieve your loss. But if you look at this way you have shown you can get pregnant! You implanted so it can happen again. Your healthy embryo is just around the corner for you.. I thought it would never happen again and I now have a 2 year old son. Your time is soon lots of hugs xxx

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