sensitive- another loss ☹️: Just a wee... - Fertility Network UK

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sensitive- another loss ☹️

Twiglet2 profile image
73 Replies

Just a wee update- after finally getting 3+ on the clearblue at 5+5 i still didn’t feel things were ‘right’ even though I had no pain or bleeding and did have some symptoms so booked a private scan yesterday at 6+5

They couldn’t find anything on external so did an internal and they did find a very tiny sac with possible yolk sac but measuring more like 4-5 weeks so no fetal pole even when there should be a heartbeat and a much bigger sac etc. they thought they might be able to see some bleeding near the sac too.

I’ve called the clinic and waiting to hear back but the outcome is pretty conclusive form the scans .HP Tests are all really strong still (still say 3+!) and no bleeding so my body is obviously still hanging on even though embryo has stopped developing, which is probably the scariest part for me as normally my body tells me and deals with it naturally with an early loss so goodness knows what will happen next!

We are gutted as other than my ‘gut feeling’ everything was pointing to finally having some success with my over 40 eggs this time 😭

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Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2
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73 Replies
Jess1981 profile image
Jess1981

Oh no I'm so sorry your scan wasn't more positive. Sometimes you can't see a heartbeat till 7 weeks . There is always early pregnancy assessment unit you ca. go if you don't from your clinic soon. . I hope they get back to you soon and manage to fit you in asap ❤️Xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toJess1981

Thank you lovely. I think if there was just no heartbeat I would have had some hope but there was nothing at all really and having had scans with my wee boy at 5.5 and 6.5 I knew what it should look like and it was just too small with no activity at all 😢 I dont have any bleeding etc so no rush for EPU as all they could tell me really is the same as the private place so will wait for the clinic to call back and hopefully they will do some bloods to see if HCG is dropping now and hopefully things will happen naturally as I really don’t want any of the alternatives 🫣 xx

Jess1981 profile image
Jess1981 in reply toTwiglet2

I'm so sorry. I've never scanned that early but as you have you know what to expect 🥲It must be such a terrible shock to you with no bleeding or cramps and tests are so strong 🥲 it doesn't make sense 🥲 Hope the clinic can at least offer clarity . It's so cruel and unfair. Been there a few times myself it ( 1 late loss and 3 early losses). I wish I had better words but thinking of you Xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toJess1981

Thank you so much and I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through so much xx

Jess1981 profile image
Jess1981 in reply toTwiglet2

Thanks. Good luck for today at the clinic will be thinking of you Xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toJess1981

Thank you, nhs clinic have just said the same as the private place that the sac is far far too small with no fetal pole or activity but no signs of body letting go yet so I’ve to go back in a week and see if it happens naturally by then. They have confirmed that is the sac though in the right place so defo not ectopic etc. so I guess that’s a positive and I’m now under nhs care with familiar faces at least as the private place just made me feel awful! Xx

Jess1981 profile image
Jess1981 in reply toTwiglet2

Oh I'm so sorry 🥲 it's such a shock when you think all is well ( we had that with our late loss) .the shock of it leaves you reeling. So glad you have a supportive team behind you now. I won't do private scans at all ever we don't trust them . I had one with our daughter Amelia who said everything was fine with her and 2 weeks later at 20 weeks she had died ( no signs or warning) . Then our last miscarriage ( I couldn't face a scan without my husband as Covid times & weren't allowing partners to early pregnancy unit) she was awful. She came up with lots of random theories that spun my head inside out. .. I call them baby photographers that's all they are they can't diagnose medical issues. Hopefully your body will deal with this soon so it's not too drawn out for you. With my MC had to go back and forth as they could not see a pregnancy luckily the HCG dropped and it was all over in a way it was a relief to have it come to a conclusion . I didn't find the bleeding at 7 weeks too bad it was like s heavy period ( I'm used to heavy cycles with endo!) But if you bleed a pad or more an hour seek medical assistance.

Forgive me if I'm wrong but did you say you had other losses? Some clinics will refer after 2 miscarriages with ivf to miscarriage specialist . They will be able to run tests for peace of mind. I'm not saying you would definitely find out the cause but it might put your mind at peace. I was referred after 3 in a row they didn't find anything including full post mortem on Amelia while we wanted reasons it also meant there was no reason another pregnancy couldn't be successful ( after that we had our rainbow Eliza sibling for our eldest daughter Francesca) They did allow me steroids which I had with Francesca but were banned during Covid. A miscarriage specialist would also give you 2 early scans with next pregnancy. It is brutal being pregnant after losses💔

I hope you have lots of support and do as much grieving as you need to 🥲💔 Xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toJess1981

Thank you so much that is all really helpful info and thank you for sharing your own journey with me I know it must be tough to relive it 😥 I was thinking about asking for a referral or self referring this time although I think I know the answer will be that it is likely a chromosome issue with the embryo as im over 40 as I’ve been on clexane already in case of sticky blood and I’ve had extra progesterone and those levels were really good even a bit high this time. I had a loss before my little boy at about 6 weeks (embryo created when I was age 37) and then one quite early before Christmas last year and a chemical earlier this year. It was quite painful for an afternoon the very first one at over 6 weeks and I passed the sac really clearly and then the pain and bleeding went to normal period, the others have just been heavy periods so I’m prepared for both those situations. Totally not prepared if I need medical intervention though but glad I’m now with the right place to get that help if I need them 💜

Jess1981 profile image
Jess1981 in reply toTwiglet2

I lost Amelia 3 years ago In November and I am a much better place than I was . It's probably having Eliza has helped tho we will never forget Amelia ( some days are tough but most days I am now able to live a normal life which in the early days I didn't think would be possible but I think she want that for her older and younger sisters).

Most of the tests I had with Amelia but miscarriage specialist did check blood clotting issues as well as thyroid full profile. The best thing is you get extra care in the next pregnancy- you get 2 early scans one at 7 weeks one at 9 weeks makes the early weeks a bit less daunting. I wound definitely get a referral when you feel ready to. Tommys have more tests which you can get a referral to ( I think their tests are more in depth) or could write the tests and see if the NHS miscarriage specialist thinks they are suitable for you 🤗 Tommys have lots of useful information on testing 🤗 I like tommys 😊losing a baby isn't "just one of those things" and they are changing attitudes 👏🏻I think it's such a shame ladies have lose 3 babies to get help my ex fertility specialist thought it was cruel and would refer after 2 ( sadly he retired as we had our first daughter) he was a great man a real humanitarian 🤗

I hope it isn't too awful physically tho I know with loss the emotional side of a pregnancy loss takes much longer to recover from 💔🥲 Sorry you've had to go through this too many times. It's awful when it's one after another 💔🥲 Take care and come back fighting when you feel ready 🤗Xx

Milo2011 profile image
Milo2011

So sorry to hear that! I know the feeling. I’m nearly 41 and had a negative this morning after 9 months process as I had a endometrium polyp removal half way through the treatment which prolonged it. Sending you lots of hugs xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toMilo2011

I’m so sorry to hear that 😢 sending you love xx

Nenad profile image
Nenad

oh Twiglet, not the update I wanted to read :( lots of virtual hugs. I hope you’re ok. Hope it’ll all be smooth and quick for you xxx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toNenad

Thank you, yeah that’s all I can hope for now xx

Sw1234 profile image
Sw1234

I'm so sorry to read your post. Thinking of you and your family xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toSw1234

Thank you x

PenguinBlue profile image
PenguinBlue

I’m so sorry to read this post Twiglet! That is so heartbreaking and sending you and your family lots of love. Hope that the clinic get your hcg tested quickly and you get a definitive answer as soon as possible. Xxxx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toPenguinBlue

Thank you that are getting me in on Friday afternoon which is good news I didn’t need to wait until October the 12th at least! Xx

PenguinBlue profile image
PenguinBlue in reply toTwiglet2

So glad you’re not having a long wait - will be thinking of you xx

hifer profile image
hifer

Oh my lovely. I’m so so heartbroken for you. How awful to read this. Sending you massive hugs. Just no words can make it better 😞xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply tohifer

Thank you 😢 I really appreciate that I’m sure we will get through it as always just feels like a mountain to climb right now xx

hifer profile image
hifer in reply toTwiglet2

Yes I know exactly how you feel I honestly do as I’ve been through it. You know it will get better. The only thing that makes it better is time and lots of communication (when you’re ready) be it with partner, friends, counsellor etc xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply tohifer

Yeah defo I said the same we have so much to be grateful for in our lives we will need to focus on that and work through it together (no one else knows we are going through IVF again since our wee boy)

My wife does make me laugh though she suggested couples yoga might help earlier 🫣🙄🤣 she’s been trying to sell me this idea for years 🤷🏻‍♀️ I dont know why she thinks that’s what I’m up for right now 🤪 but did me make smile tho!

hifer profile image
hifer in reply toTwiglet2

I love the idea of couples yoga 😆. She might be on to something. Xx

Banana77 profile image
Banana77

So so sorry to hear this - sending hugs. Xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toBanana77

Thank you xx

minnesota_girl profile image
minnesota_girl

I'm so sorry to hear this. I had a loss where my body was telling me everything was ok and it's so hard. My thoughts are with you today 💕💕💕

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply tominnesota_girl

Thank you, I think that’s the hardest part when your body is still hanging on 😢 it does help to hear I’m not alone though and others have been here and made it through xx

Bookbroad profile image
Bookbroad

I’m so sorry. I’d seen your recent posts and had a similar timeline to yours also testing positive around the same time as you. I went for a scan yesterday and was told it was a blighted ovum. Booked in for a D&C Monday. I’m reaching out just to say you’re not alone and to offer an understanding ear if you need it. No one can say anything helpful or comforting right now I know, but I’m around if you need to speak to someone who gets it. Take care of yourself xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toBookbroad

Aww gosh I’m so so sorry 😢 thank you so much for reaching out it really does help to hear we are not alone as it can feel a really lonely time I really appreciate that xx

butterfliez profile image
butterfliez

very sorry to hear this news , Sending you so much strength xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply tobutterfliez

Thank you 💜

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

I'm so sorry sweetheart.💔 Massive hugs.xxx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toCinderella5

Thank you lovely xx

Asha82 profile image
Asha82

I'm so sorry to hear that, sending big hugs

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toAsha82

Thank you xx

CardiGrey profile image
CardiGrey

I’m so, so sorry to hear this. I’m going through this myself and I never imagined it would be so difficult. I wish I had more words of comfort to offer but there really is no feeling like this. The only solace there is is time, and even then it’s just learning to live with the pain. I truly hope you have the best family and friends to support you at this time. You’ll be in my prayers. 🙏🏾

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toCardiGrey

Oh no I’m sorry to hear you are going through it too 😥 we will make it through but such a tough time just now for us both I’m sure xx

Applepie7 profile image
Applepie7

Hi Twiglet2 Im so sorry to read your post..sending you lots of love..thinking of you. Xxx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toApplepie7

Thank you so much xx

Booda21 profile image
Booda21

so sorry to hear this. Sending you lots of love x

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toBooda21

Thank you xx

I’m so sorry to hear this Twiglet ☹️ I hope you have some answers and a plan soon. Sending you love and strength. Xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply to

Thank you xx

Eternalwarrior profile image
Eternalwarrior

I am so sorry for your loss, lovely. My heart is broken for you. Sending you lots of hugs and love xxx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toEternalwarrior

Thank you so much xx

NemoFish profile image
NemoFish

I’m so sorry, so sad to read this xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toNemoFish

Thank you 💜

Sarakht profile image
Sarakht

hi Twiglet, so sorry to hear your distress. Did the sonographer not offer to give another follow up scan. At 6w4 days they saw nothing in my scan just an empty sac and even said I was going to have a miscarriage and to stop all meds. Thank god I didn’t I went the following week and everything was there.

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toSarakht

Thank you, yeah they offered a rescan in 2 weeks but I’ve got in touch with my clinic who are getting me in tomorrow . If it was an empty sac or no heartbeat etc it might have had some hope but the sac was just too small it had clearly stopped growing bit my body had hung on to it so not sure on next steps so would prefer to just go to the clinic for that xx

Skittles11 profile image
Skittles11

So sorry to see your news Twiglet. Thinking of you during this difficult time xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toSkittles11

Thank you 💜

J0J0123 profile image
J0J0123

Hi Twiglet2, just wanted to message after reading your post and say I'm sending you lots of hugs, I was thinking of you last few weeks and hope you're doing ok xxx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toJ0J0123

Thank you I really appreciate that 💜 I will be okay just a bit much to take in just now I think xx

BleuM profile image
BleuM

Oh I’m sorry to hear that, thinking of you. My sister has went through something similar so I know how devastating you will both feel. I have everything crossed for you and hope you hear some positive news soon xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toBleuM

Thank you xx

Solly-44 profile image
Solly-44

Oh I’m so sorry love. I wish it had been different xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toSolly-44

I know just wasn’t to be 😢 thank you 💜

zytajones profile image
zytajones

I'm so deeply sorry. I really hoped this will work out for you xxx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply tozytajones

Thank you 💜

PagingMom profile image
PagingMom

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss Twiglet2. I hope you get over this soon. Take time to pamper yourself and to rest from all this.

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toPagingMom

Thank you 💜

JB124 profile image
JB124

So sorry to hear this Twiglet .. I hope you’re ok x sending you lots of hugs xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toJB124

Thank you I appreciate that xx

Rainbowdreams82 profile image
Rainbowdreams82

💔Beyond devastated when I saw your message pop up! Really had everything crossed for you. So so sorry 😢 there are no words to make this any better! Hope you’re ok & get in to clinic asap. Hope they can monitor your bloods. Sending all my love and hugs. This constant rollercoaster of a fertility journey is a very cruel one. Take care of yourself, cry lots & hug your wee boy and Mrs. Big hugs 🥰 always here xxx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toRainbowdreams82

Thank you so much, I am at the clinic today so hopefully they can tell me next steps and we can start to move on xx

Rainbowdreams82 profile image
Rainbowdreams82 in reply toTwiglet2

Hey how are you doing after your clinic visit? Been thinking of you and hope you’re ok. Sending lots of love and hugs xxx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toRainbowdreams82

Hey lovely 😊 how are you getting on? I’m doing okay thank you, still in the ‘waiting for something to happen on its own’ stage I went back for a follow up scan on Friday where I thought we would be discussing options on how to tell my body what’s happening but a very small fetal pole and heart beat that was very slow had appeared in the sac (all weeks behind so not viable beyond a miracle) but that’s why my body isn’t miscarrying as the the embryo is still developing just too slow! They can’t move to next steps as nothing has stopped or gone backwards so they can’t diagnose a miscarriage more waiting and another scan on Friday 😢 it’s such a slow painful few weeks that feels like time has stood still but is also racing ahead somehow! 🤪 xx

Rainbowdreams82 profile image
Rainbowdreams82 in reply toTwiglet2

Awww I’m so sorry. Did they say there is any hope for it to be ok and continue developing? What a time for you all. Even worse having to have it drawn out. Hope you’re ok. Thinking of you xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toRainbowdreams82

he just said there has been some development so I can’t diagnose misscariage today, and I had to be cautious with what o read into the development. he wanted me back in 2 weeks but I asked for just the one week as it’s truly torture! Feel like someone has hit the pause button on my life! I’ve booked a holiday for December for the 3 of us to help us get over it all though so at least something g is moving forward xx 🤗

Weegran20 profile image
Weegran20

So sorry I feel your sadness 🥰keep hoping for a better future … sending hugs

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toWeegran20

Thank you 💜

Daisy-Delilah profile image
Daisy-Delilah

I’m so sorry to read this. Thinking of you and sending lots of love and hugs xxxxx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toDaisy-Delilah

Thanks lovely 💜

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