Work and IVF

[Zozoeee123]

Hi,

We are due to start our second round of IVF. With the last round I worked at home as I needed to isolate and had some sick leave/annual leave. I told colleagues I was having a minor op. This time round I'm not working at home. I need to take 5 days between egg collection and retrieval as I have to self-isolate for this. I also want to take the 2WW as there are certain aspects of my job I shouldn't do if pregnant. I could get signed off but was going to book annual leave as I don't want to tell people what I am off for. I'm just worried if we end up having lots of rounds I don't want to use up annual leave but at the same time I don't want to try and make up an excuse for being off sick when I never take any sick days! I know I shouldn't worry about what others think but it stressed me out when I have people asking me what I am doing with my time off or did my op. go ok and I'm having to make up excuses for everything and swap everything at work! Also if I take sick leave then I'll struggle to use my annual leave as I've been off so much! People keep asking if I am going away and I just say maybe in September (but that will just be IVF not holiday). Does anyone else have any tips/what did you do/how not to be so stressed? Sorry for such a long message! Hope everyone's journey is going ok xx

[Millbanks]

Hi lovely, it's definitely difficult trying to keep this stuff under wraps!I would make up a "holiday" and stick to it - you could actually go away in your 2ww as it helps to pass the time!

I've never taken any time off during treatment as I find the distraction helps but if you do need to, you have to do what's best for you.

I have also found that being very vague helps - especially with colleagues as they don't really want you to go in to details - if they ask just say "yes all good thanks" and leave it at that!

When I first started treatment I was really open about it all with friends and family, but I found as time went on it was much less stressful for me to not tell anyone. Our last transfer we didn't tell a soul and it was so much easier.

Best of luck to you xx

[Zozoeee123 in reply to Millbanks]

Hi, Thank you for your reply. I think working would be a distraction but it is hard in my job to avoid certain aspects without telling everyone what is going on! Hopefully we will be able to go away. I had OHSS last time but fingers crossed this time will be better. That's a good idea about being vague. Last time round I only told my boss, parents and one friend. Don't think I'll tell anyone else this time. Hope you are getting on ok with your journey xx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Zozoeee. Here is a link to our factsheet on employment issues which goes into more detail. Diane fertilitynetworkuk.org/wp-c...

[Zozoeee123 in reply to DianeArnold]

Hi Diane,

That's great. Thank you for your help x

[Purpledoggy]

Is there a specific reason you can’t tell work what is going on? Obviously everyone’s work situation and relationship with their boss is different but I have to say my life was made way easier by just being honest with work. They were very supportive. Taking time off for IVF as sickness is risky as you may then have to provide documentation about why you were sick and it might start some questions. I just took time I needed as holiday and work were fine with a couple if hours here and there for scans. Best of luck with your next round! Xx

[Zozoeee123 in reply to Purpledoggy]

Hi, thank you for your kind reply. I have told my boss but just don't want to tell my other colleagues as I don't know how I'd deal with coming back in after every round and telling them it was unsuccessful. Really hope it's not but I'm feeling quite negative about it all at the moment. Thank you for the well wishes. I wish you lots of luck on your journey too xxx

[Purpledoggy in reply to Zozoeee123]

I totally understand that. I told my immediate team of a few people but did not tell our broader team of 15 for the same reason. At least if your boss knows then you can make arrangements with them. My boss told the broader team I was isolating and taking time iff for medical reasons and left it at that. I figured few people would press the issue and if they wanted to speculate then let them! It’s such a complicated situation though, isn’t it, as it’s so specific to each person and workplace Xx

[Zozoeee123 in reply to Purpledoggy]

Definitely a complicated issue! I've said I have some medical appointments and I'm being vague! Hope you are getting on ok xx

[Pnw2020]

Hi.

I have been in a similar situation. Personally, I have chosen not to inform my work and have only told one friend.

I did a similar thing to you in the first cycle. Your employer isn't allowed to ask details regarding surgeries etc unless you provide this information. One thing I have realised is that IVF comes before work!

My clinic advise no heavy lifting after transfer and after discussing this with the nurses I decided I would rather not to the physical aspect of my job and informed my work that I will need to work from home for the two weeks before egg collection and two weeks afterwards. Like you I said I was having a medical procedure.

I did have a long chat with the GP and she said she could sign me off work for longer than the week you can self-certify for, but that she couldn't do this in advance.

Try not to worry about what colleagues think; there is nothing wrong with not going on holiday!

Wishing you all the best for your next cycle x

[Zozoeee123 in reply to Pnw2020]

Hi, Thank you for your reply. It's good to know that other people are doing similar things. You are definitely right about IVF coming before work! It's just hard not to worry about work sometimes. I am doing ovulation tests so I can try and predict when I will need the time off! Hope you journey is going ok too xxx