Donor,donor or adopt: Ahhh my head is... - Fertility Network UK

Fertility Network UK

55,843 members59,480 posts

Donor,donor or adopt

Boo718 profile image
9 Replies

Ahhh my head is literally bursting too much thinking going on in there. So we can’t have our own a few rounds of ivf proved this so we had a donor donor round we paid for the embryos to be pgd tested and they all failed. They were all good quality but chromosomally abnormal 🤦‍♀️

Do we do it all again the money the time the arghhh when it doesn’t work. When did people move on to adopt? Coz that process is not a barrel of laughs either 😢

Written by
Boo718 profile image
Boo718
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Read more about...
9 Replies
Running79 profile image
Running79

Firstly there are a few things that spring to mind here (I’ve also just done a donor round as well with my sister)

Have you actually found out why your own rounds weren’t working?!

For us it was process of elimination and we figured it was my eggs, hence why we did a donor egg round, with my much younger sister.

Secondly what made you PGS test your donor embryos?!

I was under the impression you wouldn’t need to because the donor goes through slot more stringent checks then we do?!

Adoption not been that route, I know of people who have and I have my own views on that, not suitable for this forum

Boo718 profile image
Boo718 in reply toRunning79

Hello its both of us. We have had a number of checks over the years. My eggs are very poor quality and my husbands sperm had low motility mobility and amount. We have taken heaps of different vitamins etc but seen no difference to any of it. Although donors go through a lot of back ground checks, like any embryo it may be chromosomally abnormal. We had 5 embryos so decided to test them to see which to put back but they were all abnormal. So we are glad we checked or we would have been transferring and getting no where.

Running79 profile image
Running79 in reply toBoo718

If you’ve got the energy to have another go, you could try a different donor!

I’m assuming their doing ICSI?!

When you say in your original post about donor, donor you mean you’ve had egg and sperm donor?!

Boo718 profile image
Boo718 in reply toRunning79

Yeh egg and sperm donor

Candlewax3 profile image
Candlewax3

I feel like you just posted my morning thoughts! I guess it’s a personal thing as to how much money & time and heartache you feel you can keep throwing at the process before you decide to move on to adoption. My husband and I have always spoken about adoption before we knew about any fertility issues so I’m wondering if maybe it’s something we should be looking into alongside ivf as I hear the process can take forever 🤷‍♀️

Running79 profile image
Running79 in reply toCandlewax3

Adoption takes years in some cases, the hoops you have to jump through are unbelievable

Candlewax3 profile image
Candlewax3

Also you have really been handed some lemons to pay for donor eggs that were all abnormal! You would really expect that to be a one off rather than the norm x

Marisa32 profile image
Marisa32

Hi, it's highly unusual to get all abnormal embryos with a young egg donor but it's possible. Especially if the problem is with the sperm. Have you had the DNA fragmentation test done on the sperm to check if that's fine? I also PGS tested all my donor embryos when attempting DE embryo transfer. 5 out of 6 were normal. I would definitely double check the sperm before switching to a new donor. If sperm is fine, it's highly unlikely you would get a bad quality DE twice. If you used donor embryos (not just eggs) then I would try one more time. Again highly unlikely to get a bad batch twice. Don't give up yet!

FluffyPink profile image
FluffyPink

Hi there, I’m so sorry to hear this happened to you. We had a similar failure with a double donor cycle (we got no embryos at all even though both donors were in their 20s, non-smokers and both had proven pregnancies previously). It was really devastating at the time as we’d already had 5 failed cycles of ICSI with my eggs. In our case the problem I think was with the lab. Our clinic stopped dealing with this lab abroad subsequently.

We moved clinic, used an egg donor agency as we just couldn’t face another long wait and chose the sperm ourselves online from an international sperm bank. We took a leap of faith and didn’t PGS test the embryos as our donors are both in their early 20s. I’m now 9 weeks pregnant and have had two scans showing a strong heartbeat. Given the difficult process involved in adoption, if you are able to afford it you might consider giving double donor one more go. It would be expensive but I’d be inclined to start from scratch if you can. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions. xx

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

Adopt or Donor Egg?

I'm in my late 40s, most of which have been spent in an exhausting battle with miscarriage and sub...
hazyjayne profile image

Donor egg appointment

Hi all. I've not been on here much since our 3rd cycle failed, but have picked myself up and...
anna0908 profile image

Donor egg treatment

Hello, (long post sorry) Just had our day 3 update and our single embryo is highly fragmented and...
Orla9298 profile image

To adopt or keep doing ivf

Just wanted to ask if any of you have considered adoption if ivf fails and how many cycles you...
katya38 profile image

Donor eggs and donor sperm

More bad news, fallen at the final hurdle. My partner have his sample yesterday and we have our...

Moderation team

See all
Claire_FNUK profile image
Claire_FNUKAdministrator

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.